Went to bed last night feeling ok. Woke up at 2 am worried about anything and everything. Finished up getting up and going down stairs at 4am. I been up ever since. I tried to keep busy doing stuff to keep my mind occupied. It's worked most of the time but the last hour all I can do is cry. My husband doesn't have a clue how to help. I'm already worried about tonight.
Any ideas and tips to help?
I watch TV as that usually takes my mind off things and gets me to sleep. My guide is that if I am in bed for one hour without sleep then I get up. I make a bed up on the settee. If I stay awake for three hours during the night then I just make up for it during the day. It really does not matter. As my recovery progressed I decided to get better sleeping hours and find that if I retire at 11.20 then I sleep. It has been hard work to enforce this (and to discover the right timimg) but it has paid good dividends.
Many of us get bad dreams. They will ease as the months tick by. Do not dwell on the dreams and do not tell anyone what the dream is about. That way the brain will dismiss the dream more efficiently. Talking about it will magnify the problem.
Only another SS understands what you are going through. So your husband will not. We have to say whatever is relevant. With the crying, just explain that its emotionality that many SS get. I never cried before stroke but I do now. Our brain is rewiring and that takes time. A lot of time. It seems that emotions are too easily interupted.
Best wishes
Smile and be positive, lots of us are here for you
Colin
Thank you so much for your very kind words. They are really appreciated.
Colin, I know your words were a response for Kay, and I have not suffered a stroke, but I often feel as though I just want to cry. I'm usually quite stoical, but it's only through reading posts such as yours, that I'm understanding my own reaction to something that has happened to my husband. Early this morning, I had the feeling that I just wasn't going to make it through the day, I was trying to think of reasons not to go to school in case I just broke down. Still not quite sure how I arrived at this evening having worked through the day, but reading your comments I'm pleased I didn't voice my worries, but ultimately I wonder if it's going to cause me problems later on.
I try to think about how this is magnified for SS, but as you point out it's all part of the healing process, and the brain is trying to repair itself.
Anyway, thank goodness for the wisdom and generosity on this site. Kay, if you're reading this, I hope you are feeling better now, and that you will be able to find your body's own rhythms and routines, as Colin has done. It sounds difficult, and a lot of trial and error, but clearly once you find what works you will have a great sense of achievement, and of gaining an element of control over the very important need for sleep.
Take care xx
Hi NicABella ,
Like you I often read the replies from all contributers to this site. Gaining information and a greater insight into my condition. Yes I'm feeling better not burst into tears for the past two hours even though I've had too type this in twice. Got lost when I tried to post it. I find your posts give SS's a view from the other side of the coin. Keep up the good work. xx
Took the advice offered and went to bed at 11.20 pm. I woke a couple of times read my book and wrote down everything I'd achieved yesterday and managed to sleep until 7.30 am. Perfect!
Once again thanks for the kind words and advice you're all amazing. x
Hi Kay. I know what you mean. I cried if someone said Boo to me in the first 3 months especially when someone was nice to me! The major contributory cause of my stroke was HRT. I was on it for over 25 yrs following a hysterectomy in my 30's. Whilst much publication has been made over HRT and breast cancer, very few people know that it also causes blood clots. Following my stroke, I was immediately taken off HRT cold turkey, never to be taken again! So, in addition to being emotional from the stroke, my hormones were all over the place as I was then thrown straight into the wonderful world of menopause! Stupidly, I always believed that you went through menopause in the background whilst on HRT and then when you eventually came off it, you were out the other side - wrong!! They forgot to tell me all those years ago that when you come off it, you then have to start the journey. Great :( Just what I needed after having had a stroke! So floods of tears for no particular reason are quite common in our house at the moment! I find if I put some happy,rock n roll music on, that helps me, or a quick burst of Abba - something you have to singalong to which stops the tears from coming out!
My husband has got used to it and he knows when an outburst is on its way because I go quiet. As soon as he says "whats wrong" my eyes fill up. At first he was worried I wasn't feeling well but now he knows it's just hormones/emotions. He tells me to just let it all out because bottling it up makes it worse. I find if I do have a good cry, I feel better for it. I've also started worrying about nothing and everything lately too. We are in the middle of decorating and after a long search for wallpaper we like, the one we decided on has now been discontinued with none left and it's been preying on my mind all week if we are ever going to find another we like. Little things like this never bothered me before so I don't know where this is coming from - ah well, it will all come out in the wash as we say in Yorkshire!
Kay, All the advice you have been given is very sound. Unlike others, I have not been emotional since my stroke, but sleep was an issue. I did not sleep particularly well in my working life and slept badly when I first came home from hospital. I think we wake frequently to check we are alive. My physio gave me the best advice......stay up as long as you can and lie in if you want to. I usually stay up till 11.30 then go up. I put on Classic FM then settle down. After lights out, I usually fall asleep quickly, only waking once when I need the loo. Another good strategy is not to look at the clock when you wake up. The advice I got for resting in the day was to rest for one hour maximum and to try not to go into a deep sleep.
On an exercise day, I usually get off to sleep at night quite deeply. During the hot summer, I also had vivid surreal dreams but, fortunately, no nightmares. I now get about seven and a half hours a night. Glad you had a good night last night.
Lie in if you want to. Have tried amending my post but it doesn’t work.
Thanks Kay, hope you've had a better day today - the ups and downs are difficult, but they seem to change as time goes on, less intense, and you really learn how to deal with them and to rationalise the situation.
Take good care xx
Glad you got some rest xx
Hi NicABella,
Much better day. Only one episode of tears lasting about 2 minutes. Decided once it was over to do something positive and practical so l'very started doing something you mentioned. Writing / typing up the things I achieved during the day. When I looked over I was slightly impressed with myself. Ha! Ha!
Don't forget to look after yourself too! xx
Thanks for letting me know - funnily enough I've just written up notes for today! I hope you'll see the benefit in a few weeks when you decide to read your notes, you'll be properly impressed with yourself 
Sometimes, just making a decision to do something, no matter how small, can be a reward in itself, it feels like you're taking control of your life again.
Best wishes xx
Dear Onwardsandupwards,
You certainly take on a challenge. Stroke and the menopause at the same time. Bless you!
Glad you found a strategy to help you lift your mood. So far I've tried gardening programmes on the telly and now I've added typing up my daily achievements no matter how small . Like you I believe I'll get there. Plus as I once read "life is too short to stuff mushrooms"
Yup, totally agree with the mushroom bit LOL!! One thing I have started to try is Soy Milk. After doing lots of googling on how to stop hot flushes and lose menopausal stomach flab (sorry blokes if this is too much info!) there seems to be a lot of evidence that Soy Milk helps. It also apparently helps with balancing hormones and emotions as well as helping to burn fat quicker and speed up your metabolism during menopause. I've been drinking one glass of milk with my breakfast each morning for 3 weeks. The hot flushes haven't been as bad but the best bit is I've lost 4lbs which is the most I've lost since my stroke. I don't know if it's psychological or not but I feel a lot better generally and not as tired as normal. It has something in it that levels out hormones naturally but if it helps with fatigue, all the better! I remembered another thing I do to help me sleep and that is a few drops of lavender oil on my pillow which calms my mind down and also I sometimes use 'This Works' Sleep Spray. This does make me nod off in no time but it's quite expensive so I only use this if the lavender is taking too long. Hope that helps. p.s. I love watching Monty on Gardeners World but I love Nigel and Nelly more
!
Thank you for the info re. soy milk - might have to swap to that, to see if my 'tropical' moments can be calmed down!!
It's amazing how much information you can get from the contributors to this site.
I'll look out for this spray.
I agree with you about Nigel and Nelly.
I get my off the internet. Here is the link:-
https://www.thisworks.com/sleep/sleep-category/deep-sleep-pillow-spray/deep-sleep-pillow-spray.html?gclid=CjwKCAjw8uLcBRACEiwAaL6MSfGw075-aPTnFQTsJzxHGEjnXj1pCyDBAdqfDU9wpee1AecnWZywXRoC58oQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Thank you! Ordered looking forward to a better night sleep.
How are you getting on