My partner had a massive stoke on 4 th January 2 weeks before he had a TIA went to the GP the day after to be told he had a trapped nerve in his shoulder and the train he couldn’t speak - kept making mmmmmm noises- was that he was woken and was still half asleep. GP didn’t even take his blood pressure even after he’s explained I thought he’s had a stroke and called an ambulance which when they did a welfare call he made me cancel it. Two weeks later he had a life changing stroke and is still in hospital - if the GP had listened and the ambulance hadn’t take 10 hours to arrive even tho they were told he’d had a stroke and they did not do a welfare call this time, we wouldn’t be in the position we are now. This has devastated our lives and the medical profession has let us down at every turn. This is only a very scant description of things and they are much worse with the hospital neglecting his care but any advice would be helpful.
Sarahjc–So sorry to hear what you and your partner have been going through. All I can say is what’s past is over . Now you will be looking towards recovery. I don’t know the state of your partner, but in most cases the brain can heal, rewire and relearn much of what may have been lost. It takes a positive attitude, good and regular physical and occupational therapies, hard work–and most of all patience. The brain can heal and rewire, but it takes time. You and your partner will have a lot of questions over the next months, so ask away, and we can share what we have experienced. Wishing the best to you both. Jeanne
Yes the NHS have a lot to answer for, you could always contact PALS to try to see about putting in a complaint, but what has happened has happened and nothing can alter that, as Jeanne has said it will all take time, but I am sure he will get there.
Thinking of you both, Jane.
Welcome to the group @Sarahjc so sorry you’ve had cause to join. Jeanne’s reply has much sage advice
If you believe the medical staff were negligent then the ukabif web site has lists of legal firms that can help - including no win no fee (but beware that is the most expensive option if you’ve a prospect of a win). fighting will drain a lot of emotion and energy that’s perhaps best saved for the challenges of building a new life together. Also while the path traveled in hindsight is clear the med staff didn’t have a crystal ball for foresight at the time. proving a case of negligence rather than tragic ignorance of the reality is very difficult AND if you try the med staff will close ranks. Citizens advice may be a source of help and or your mp. there are many others too see
The road to your best futures is imho one traveled looking forward to take opportunity and not back with anger and regret. but those must be recognised and a form of grief and mourning is needed by both of you individually and together. His is not likely to start for a while while yours appears too have. The first signs are shock then anger, next is accepting - often difficult and needs time
After the initial hospital centred recovery from the physical damage there will be a long term struggle with physical mental emotional and more effects from the consequences and changes; be prepared for them, they require a strength and maturity that’s a test of the best of us. I’m very blessed to say my wife and I are better for it but we wouldn’t ever have volunteered if there was a choice.
Seek and take all the help you can get. You will drain your battery less if you do. Your just as much a #stokewarrior now as your husband
There is always an ear here when you need advice, sharing, to rant & vent and in time for might found it useful to share reflections of the journey both for others and for your self to help you understand how far you’ve come
Sarahjc a few of us here have been through similar experiences I went to A&E during middle of covid crisis to be sent home only to return again almost immediately for hospitalisation. On first visit BP not checked, but the damage had all ready been done before. Was told by consultant a year on that even if I had been admitted on first visit nothing would have changed. I was a very fit non smoker but stupidly never checked my blood pressure even though HP ran in family You have to let certain events go, not dwell on them ,they will only fester and poison the system. The damage has been done ! So now the energy has to be spent on the recovery and healing yours and the survivors. So stay positive and use this great forum for support.
@Sarahjc welcome to the forum, so sad what you have both been through, forget the past you cant change it. focus on the future, the brain is a great machine it will get better and it will rewire it self. With determination and patience you and your partner will be on the right road. Never give up, none of us have. Ask hospital lots of questions even if they are busy. good luck, visit the forum again for help and advice
Hi Sarah and welcome to this forum. So sorry to hear of your husband’s stroke. Feel free to ask any questions and have a rant whenever you feel the need, there’s always someone to offer advice and information. Stroke recovery is a long tough road, so make sure to accept all of the help you can get. The NHS is a bit slow at offering help, so it’s worth looking into obtaining help wherever you can. Take care of yourself too.
@Sarahjc welcome to the forum. Really sorry to hear your story. It must be very difficult to accept what has gone on. To some degree you will never know if things would have been different had the GP taken more care but of course its both of you that now have to pick up the pieces. You could complain and if you feel strongly enough you should do so. It doesn’t change where you are though and you need to try and come to terms with it so you can focus your energies on moving forward and getting your lives back. If is a form of grieving that we all go through.
Wishing you both all the best.
Thank you everyone it’s nice to know there
Is a safe place to vent all my emotions, as you all know it’s a roller coaster ride!
hi … when I had a stroke 5 months ago the ambulancle thought it was a prank call, and gave up, and went back to the hospital until we called another one. The stroke hit me pretty hard, but my trusted Chinese Doctor turned out to have worked with stroke patients back in China. He is a wiz, it turns out, and looks after me better than any doctor could. He restored all my mobility in my stroke arm and hand. Sometimes you have to think outside the box. Good luck, Roland
I think that as my partner is so determined he will recover well. He can now walk unaided and has movement in his effected arm. Speech is a big one that is so frustrating for him, and me to be honest. We have to give it time I guess, if his determination continues I am sure speech will come back.
On the brighter side this has definitely made both of us see what is important in life, no more working to live this is the one life we get so we’re going to live it!