Hello I need help. A week today my little family had its world shattered. My 50 year old husband suffered an ischaemic stroke. He has left sided weakness and has just been moved to a less acute stroke ward. Life is just awful. He is everything to me and my son and we’re devastated seeing him like this. Im terrified all the time i miss him so much. We are always together he’s also registered blind so literally we’re together all the time. Hes so strong and so positive but im terrified of the future and if he will get any better. His personality is exactly the same he has the same sense of humour and i feel strong when im with him but when i go home i fall apart. Home isnt comfort anymore. His Dr has spoken about him going to a rehabilitation centre for therapy. I’m sorry for rambling but i just wanted to get my feelings out. Yesterday i was massaging his left arm and leg and he could feel where i was touching him. This has to be a good sign? I know i wont have him home for a long time andni dont know how to funtion without him. He assures me he’ll be fine and get through it and i hope with everything ive got that he does. Thank you for reading
He is exactly the same person you always knew but has some extra challenges to deal with, as do you.
Time will let you begin to deal with this, but you will learn how.
You can’t instantly sort all this out, it will take much time, but be patient and kind with one another and you will be able to make a way forward, even be able to support others.
This forum is a great place to share your journey.
All the best this Christmas.
keep on keepin’ on
Thank you so much for your encouraging words.
He will improve. However it takes time, determination and perseverance. The brain has amazing capacity to relearn; but he needs to show it what is required. My stroke was 8 years ago and I’m still improving. But I do work hard at it. You should get a copy of a book called Had a stroke??/ What now? by Tom Balchin. it’ll help understand what’s happened and what to expect. (You can get it on Kindle).
…that’s an absolutely great speedy return of sensation. I didn’t feel anything for 6 months after my stroke, and even then it was the feintest of sensations. Have faith in his recovery, you have every reason to look forward to better days. Good luck,
Happy Xmas, Roland
Hello @EmmaT1974
Welcome to the best club in town without awaiting list and that nobody would choose to join .
Now you are here know that this community has many people who will support you with their empathy, experience, wisdom and encouragement.
Some of us put the comments that we found we were regularly making to new joiners in a post Welcome Post - click the blue text It will explain some context for both your husband’s stroke and using this forum. It definitely reflects that you’re feeling of fear is a common reaction.
This is a great place to celebrate achievements, rant when you need to let fear, frustration or confusion out, ask for and offer others support 
Can I recommend that you reach out to local services Who support carers? The medical profession don’t see the carers but your needs are at least as great as your husband’s but different. You’ll find support groups listed in SupportGroups and the following post in that thread .
The stroke association helpline Stroke Assoc’tn 
03033033100 / 
helpline@stroke.org.uk is also a good source of advice for many questions and signposting to many resources
You and your son might also find 40 things to know gives a useful understanding of things that your husband may be experiencing now
Take heart and know that for most of us while the journey is slow, and has setbacks it is a positive one of improvement and can be a good life post stroke
Ciao
Simon
Thank you so much. I will definitely take a look. Im desperate for any help and advice
@EmmaT1974 Hi & welcome to the forum. You have described how we all feel.at the beginning & stroke most definitely affects loved ones as much as the patient themselves.
It sounds like your husband is doing ok and it is very early days for him & you yet. Try not to be too hard on yourself it’s a lot to take in & a big change for you. Time will help you deal with your emotions etc but you need to be aware that stroke recovery is a long road.
The Stroke Association have a here for you service where they match you with someone in similar circumstances to yourself & theh will ring you for a chat once a week for 8 weeks.
It may not be for you but could be worth a try.
Ask as many questions as you want on here. There’s usually someone who can help.
I know it won’t be the same but Merry Christmas & my very best wishes to you all.
Ann x
We all are at the start
The welcome post does cover the topics that start the adjustment. It may be hard to hear that the process of healing all those touched by stroke - not just a survivor - takes unavoidable time.
Hello, I am in a similar situation. My husband had a stroke a week ago too. He is 32. It has been a very scary and very hard week. I have found the forum really quite helpful.
I hope you manage to find some respite tomorrow and enjoy some time with your family x
Welcome @Mlb1 but so sorry you had to join us
I think all of what I would say to you I have written above - so I hope you will read the same sources hopefully some comfort.
It is hard at first to imagine that there can be a good life after stroke - and there is definitely a new path to be travelled from now on - which will adjust expectations - but after a period of adjustment or may see that it can be as rewarding as previously .
As said above; there are many here who will offer support - take it because as a carer you will likely need it
Ciao
Simon
Hello to both @EmmaT1974 and @Mlb1, welcome to the forum. I’m sorry this has sprung on you right before Christmas too. For me it was Christmas day and it is a scary time for all concerned, you have a sympathy for that. But it’s going to get better! 
A lot can and will come back over the next 6 months and year, it just takes time, determination and a lot of effort. A lot of our initial fear stems from the unknown. So the sooner you arm yourselves of all things stroke, the more manageable your life will be and better able to cope with the emotions of it. Their progress is going to be 2 steps forward and one back so take note of their progressions. Sometimes it’s going to be hard to believe they’ve made progress without those references to look back on.
You both have good reason to celebrate tomorrow, your husbands survived a major attack on the brain. Emma, your son still has his father, celebrate that and look forward to the day he comes home. That’s what will make them feel whole again 
Happy Christmas 
Lorraine you always have wise words
I hope you have a very happy Christmas this year and the can set aside the memories of the Christmas dinner before last
Enjoy your Christmas pud, brandy butter?, cream?..
Hugz 
…brandy sauce 
@Mlb1 just popping by to say hi & welcome to the forum. Sorry you’ve had cause to join us but hopefully you’ll find it a useful and helpful place to be.
The first few days and weeks are definitely scary but it does get easier as you move through the recovery journey and progress starts to be made.
Hope you manage to enjoy tomorrow despite the week you’ve had.
Best wishes to you and your husband.
Ann xx
Oh thank you so much. This is so encouraging. Its been the most awful week of our lives but hes so strong and determined he will do everything to get better. I started writing a diary of everything hes going through so i could document any changes. The worst of it is exactly as you said fear of the unknown. Seeing him in a hospital bed terrifies me into thinking he’ll be bed bound forever. He wont let that happen. Im noticing little positives each day so i shall hang onto those. Thank you so much for your support. I needbto navigate this forum more but its alresdy becoming a lifeline for me x
hello . my husband had a stroke about a month ago. so I know how you feel. I cried ever night and did not know anything about stroke. this group help me so much . We will do all we can for our husband and I hope he get well soon. its not going to be a Merry xmas but take it a day at a time. and I also wrote everything in a journal , I am still writing what he eats and what he likes and dislikes. sending you hugs take care of your self as well. I try to walk in the park do some mindful exercises and deep breathing . make sure to care for you as well.
Have you seen
It is 3½mins that might help…
Simon
Ps We will be on zoom later today
Thursday and Christmas zooms
Wow you two are amazing. This made me smile and gives me so much hope. Thank you
Its terrifying. So sorry you’re going through it too. Its so up and down. I can visit him on a morming and be so happy that there are positives then by the evening im full of fear again. I feel i need to fasten my seatbelt as its going to be a long road. Thank you for your kind words x