Hi Justin I have not been through the same as you but am not going back to my job I have been struggling emotionally so I have signed up to online counselling with IESO which is free also citizens advice seems to be the main thing I am waiting for them to contact me as I have no clue where I go from here you have admitted you’re struggling and wanting help that’s a major step
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Thank you jul,sorry to hear your struggling too,I self refered to icope and they’ve been brilliant and quick,because I can sometimes struggle with my speech they’ve organized face to face for me,…it’s been about two weeks from self referral to first appointment.Maybe they might be worth looking at.I also can’t go back to my job as I was publican and don’t think that lifestyle is conducive with my recovery no idea what my future work life will be but just gonna work on my head for now and worry about work when I’m in a better place.
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Icope is also free,it’s NHS run
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I had a tia and emergency surgery I wanted to go back to work on admin only but not to be I am going through so many emotions from anger hurt sadness I know it’s right for me to leave I did well in the beginning nothing wrong with me but as time goes on it’s little things like forgetting things terrible fatigue at times sometimes I think that’s emotional adapting to medication everyone contacts you to start then the texts gradually fall away my eyesight has slightly got worse but no big deal the worse thing is people say gosh you look so well which is not bad but you don’t always feel great but things will get better I am learning a language on Duolingo for free it just keeps your brain going little puzzles and try to read though sometimes I am not taking things in it’s little things that we take for granted but we will get there if it’s sunny and you can go for a walk and say good morning along the way
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Your experience sounds quite alot like mine.when people keep saying how well you look and I’ve even had people say are you sure you’ve had a stroke as if I’m lying it can be very hard.I stopped telling people if I was struggling and having hard time because I felt they thought I was lying ,but that just made me emotionally much worse.Then when I had outbursts of anger and rage I was told I was acting like a lunatic.I haven’t had any councelling or anything yet,just been engaging on here and did couple of Bobbi’s zoom meeting and I’m starting to feel less stress and anxiety ,just knowing other people have been through it and you’re not going mad has been a revelation to me .Also you’re right if you can keep doing little things not just for your recovery but things that make you happy just like little walk in the sunshine you will start to get better. Take care of you jul
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Hi Justin. So sorry to learn about your stroke and subsequent problems. I truly hope you can get some help to deal with your mental issues. Having had a stroke nearly a year ago, I understand how it affects you mentally and physically. I have had some psychological help re stroke and I think it does help to talk things through. Although I think I’m 95% back to normal physically, the thought of having another stroke is always with me. I try to make the most of things and carry on. I hope you can do the same. Find a hobby you enjoy and make new friends. I’m a member of an art club and,fortunately, can still participate in crown green bowls. The banter definitely helps. Sending all my best wishes. Cynthia
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Justin have been wondering if you are feeling a little bit better step by step this group is supportive and it’s good you had a zoom chat getting help and little by little you won’t always feel this bad I have such a good memory but the other day I had a shower and felt really irritable as I couldn’t find my trousers when I looked I had already laid them out on the bed 
this bothered me in the beginning but I am trying to laugh about it now we are all here for you and each other
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I’m doing ok at mo,joined a study I found on here to do with emotions after stroke with some Oxford professor,start that tomorrow got my councelling starting beginning of next week too.So I’m keeping busy which helps me as if I’m sitting doing nothing that’s when my mind plays with me.yes I have found this place really helpful and it’s giving me some perspective.thank you for thinking of me,it really helps knowing there’s people who do care
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We all care on here because we can identify with it all I was doing so well I thought that’s it then I soon realised it’s a marathon not a sprint and it’s finding out what help you can get and where to start the study sounds interesting
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I understand that completely,I thought I was winning, nearly back to me because physically I was getting stronger,I walked five miles and didn’t collapse.I couldn’t do that before the stroke, then my head started to unravel because I didn’t have this intense need to concentrate on my body anymore and I started to notice that in my mind I was still struggling.I wouldn’t engage with anyone I hated going into a shop to buy a drink,as an ex publican I always felt at home in a pub but now I’d ask my friend to go to the bar for me ,I didn’t have any confidence in myself anymore.I started speaking to people less and less untill I finally fell apart.But through some small miracle I found here to have a rant ,and I’m not silly I know this is a nice place and very helpful but not a miracle cure ,but it inspired me to start talking to people again,and I’m so thankful for that.Im on a teams meeting today with the study so I’ll let you know more about it afterwards take care jul and thanks for caring
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Exactly like people say it’s a marathon not a sprint I get fatigue then sometimes I go down and can’t be bothered then have to pick myself back up I know it will get better and for you
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I too had a stroke 2 years ago. I was on my own at the time and I think that helped to motivate me regards physical improvement but you are so right it is the mental impact that is perhaps the hardest. Use this group in whatever way helps you. I haven’t posted often but just reading other posts has helped me realise that I am not alone in this. Talk to your go, face to face if you can. Take whatever help he offers. I have used both counselling and anti depressants and they have both helped me though I know they don’t work for everyone.
I am now in a much better place and have joined a local walking group. Meeting others has been almost as hard as seeking help but has been well worth the effort.
Keep taking a day at a time and aiming for small improvements
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thank you and yes we will get there and it’s easier together
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Thank you and so pleased to hear you’re doing well.I am finally asking for help and am prepared to accept it too( which has always been a problem for me even pre stroke)Fingers crossed I can start to move forward instead of sideways or backwards at last
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Hi everyone,bit of non stroke related advice needed.Ive been spending alot of time with a woman who I’ve become friends with,I’m still in love with my ex,but there’s no chance of that ever happening as she’s found a younger fully fit replacement I shouldn’t take it any farther with this new lady should I?Just because I’m lonely is no excuse to lead someone else on is it.Please I’d like any point of views to help me. I already know the answer just need it reinforced as I’m weak and lonely
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@Justin what a dilemma. I guess you should be honest with the lady - you may have already done that. Good friends is perhaps an option for now & then see how it goes. Honesty is always the best policy in my opinion.
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@Justin hi I second everything @Mrs5K has said.
Honesty it should be, it’s not fair on her. You would want her to be honest with you if it was the other way round.
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@Justin be honest, be yourself, enjoy the friendship and see how it develops, most relationships grow over time. So long as she knows it’s friendship at the moment.
If she has more romantic feelings towards you and wants more from the relationship than you are able to give and you still don’t feel that way, tell her how you’re feeling, that you value her friendship, honestly from both sides is always the best policy 
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Yea ,I knew that ,but as I said bit of reinforcement was needed.Ill just keep the cold showers going and stay friends😂it’s nice to be able to ask others opinion so thank you
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