Yeah I really needed to feel seen and I do,so thank you
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No problem, it was good to meet up.
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Yeah ,was very nice meeting you
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@Justin welcome to the group. Sorry you’re finding things difficult at the moment. It sounds like you’ve made some good first steps to getting help though. Hopefully your counselling will be available soon & if you feel able the zoom group Bobbi runs are great. The Stroke Association also have a here for you service…it’s a 1 to 1 phone call for 8 weeks from someone who has been through very similar to you. Have a look at this link if it interests you.
This forum is also a great place to reach out, share your experiences & ask for advice or support.
Best wishes
Ann
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Hi Justin, so sorry to hear that you are struggling but just wanted to say welcome to this forum. We are a merry band of stroke survivors who have suffered many different types of strokes and whose recoveries are also very different.
As time goes by we have all had our up and downs and have needed a bit of help along the way. I’m 6 years post stroke following a hemorrhagic stroke which paralysed my left side. One of the things I have found particularly useful over the past 6 years is a Stroke Survivors support group which was local to us. It was attended by people of all ages from 19 - 70, some came along alone or with carers/partners. Both my husband and I found the weekly meetings to be
very helpful and informative. Unfortunately the group closed due to Covid 19 and never reopened.
I had counseling a couple of years ago after contacting MIND, which I found very helpful at the time.
I personally haven’t attended one of the zoom calls but they sound very useful and I 'm sure are particularly helpful if you live alone
You have definitely made the right decision to seek help and hopefully your new gp will be able to assist you along the way.
Please feel free to ask questions or have a rant if you feel the need, there are lots of contributors on here who are always ready to lend an ear and offer advice and information.
Hope you are feeling better soon
Regards Sue
.
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Hi Justin and welcome to the forum and to a whole new beginning 
You’ve taken that first great leap of faith in yourself and now you are ready to live again!
Just reading through this whole post had me filling up 
But doesn’t it feel so good to be taking a hold of your life again? Keep it going, you will get there! There is light at the end of this tunnel and you don’t need die alone.
Take your lovely family on this journey with you, they need you as much as you need them.
Help them to understand you by showing them what you are doing to fix yourself, by letting them be a part of your healing, be a team!
Kids want their dads any way they can get them, they see differently to adults/parents. They just accept…imperfections and all, they don’t judge, they don’t want to lose their dad any more than their mum!
There is a whole load of Support Groups in this link you might also find useful. Some are online and others are in person groups.
Also don’t just look at stroke survivor walking groups. I’m with an over 50’s walking group and the quieter one of the group, a bit introvert but they’re comfortable with that…and I’m not the only one! I also have aphasia after my stroke so speech is somewhat iffy 
depending on time of day.
The thing is, not to allow yourself to hold you back anymore, because you are missing out on so much life yet to be lived. Keep up the momentum, lighten up on yourself and laugh more often.
And keep calling in here, we’ll all love to hear of your progress. If you need advice or just to chat, need a good rant to get things off your chest, it’s all good therapy to come here.
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emphasised textHi, Justin.
I also suffered with depression feeling like a burden to my family, who would be better off without me. Thankfully, I am finally past that with the help of medication, low dose, and the people here to talk with. They have renewed my hopes when I had lost them. I am on the right track again, seeing some progress again and understanding now that it is slower this far out, but little increments count just as much. I hope you will come to a zoom meeting as well, for my own sake. I really enjoy the feeling like a person again, rather than left behind and forgotten while others were getting on with their lives. I wrongly thought that, but these lovely souls have opened my eyes to show me I can still be of use in this world and accomplish things…maybe not all the things I had planned, but it isn’t as if I was accomplishing them any better before, outside of working all the time. Plans change. Now I have time for more important things, like loving my daughters and grandson, gardening for food to share with neighbors, teaching my daughters how to run a household, do repairs, etc… and giving hugs to everyone I see.
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Hi @Justin
Welcome to the group
sorry that you’ve had to join but now you here you’ll find lots of support - as in the texts above and there’s lots of other posts if you search the history that are full of nuggets .
Somebody has recommended the Hear for You service run by the stroke association - Which I’d second - I’m one of the volunteers who helps the service. If you ring the the helpline and ask them about it then Emma or Lisa or somebody will ring you back and find out what your interests & needs are and pair you with a survivor who has similar challenges and interests. It only runs for 8 weekly calls but it’s one to one and focused entirely on just what you want to talk about
Together with a survivor called Louise the two of us run a weekly SA zoom cafe on https://bit.ly/StrokeThuCafes - Louise will do this Thursdays at 10:30 BST and I’ll do next Thursdays at 1300 and then Louise does the following Thursday etc. There’s at least two regulars who just listen, you will be welcome too if u want to join. Just click the link above at the time.
there’s also a carers cafe that my wife does everyother Thursday afternoon @ 1:30pm same weeks as Louise does the morning cafe.
[Edit Oct 23
I now run the cafe without Stroke Association sponsorship every Thursday from 1:00 p.m. on the same link as above - @BakersBunny holds a carers on an ad hoc basis when there’s folk who want one]
Emotional challenges are a common stroke after effect but it doesn’t make them any easier. Meds, talking and sharing are all ways to cope. Use what ever support is in reach 
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Thank you for the information Simon,I’m at the dentists this Thursday so won’t be able to do that one as the times clash but I’ll give next Thursday a look.Im finding the site is very useful and comforting,which has already made my anxiety start to calm a bit,so I’d like to thank everyone for making me feel so welcome
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Really glad to hear you’re getting some benefit from the forum @Justin i’ve always found it a great place to be & sometimes the posts even makes me giggle.
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yea im feeling alot better about things today been chatting and trying to engage,which is a big thing for post stroke me
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Hi @Justin. Please know that you are not alone. All of us in this group will be able to relate to how you feel and what you’re experiencing. Reaching out to others that have experienced stroke is such a positive and powerful tool for healing and moving forward through this incredibly challenging experience. I know that just being in this group has helped saved me from a breakdown. Everything will be ok. You are going to be ok. Take one day at a time, one hour at a time and keep talking about how you feel. Rant, cry, scream at the sea. Everything will be ok x
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Thank you Joanne,I will do my best.Im in a better place already,I think I’d just decided noone understood so stopped talking to people about things and just having an outlet where people don’t treat your fears and feelings as silly has really helped
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Hi Justin sometimes I am little bit tired and frustrated with my previous tias
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Hi @Justin . I’ve come late to this. But I understand, sympathise and feel for you. I, too, have had problems with anger. My relations with my - previously extremely close - wife and family have grown increasingly strained due to this. My wife and I are talking to a psychologist/therapist, and my children are also taking part. We have been close to the brink, and we are not through it yet. So I both feel for you and understand. Of little help to you, perhaps, but I am relieved that your message tells me that I am not alone and that my frustration, fits of temper and emotion are not just a problem for me. Anger, frustration and “being difficult” needs to be recognised as one of the consequences of strokes. I wanted to tell you that and that you are not alone. I have a family that has said they still love me but find me impossible to live with. What began, then, as therapy to “fix” the relationship has increasingly turned into therapy to help me deal with life. Life after stroke is not easy. I look the same. My physiological damage is both minor and invisible. My right arm and leg are weaker - although because I was very fit before, the physiotherapists say they are stronger than many people who have not had neurological damage. My sight is affected on the right, but that is again invisible. I have developed epilepsy as a result of the Covid and strokes. And there is deep, deep frustration at what I have lost - I am not allowed to drive or cycle because of my loss of vision. I was a scuba diving instructor and keen diver to depths of up to 50 metres. I have had to stop. I am not allowed to work, and have also been told not to be take up to many voluntary roles as they are likely to prompt more fits. I cannot look after my grandchildren on my own in case I have a fit. I cannot enjoy a couple of pints with my mates because of the drugs I am on - for the rest of my life. I get tired and have to rest often. My vision is worse… You get it. I could continue. But, and this is I hope my message to you, I remind myself that I am here. I am alive. I can spend time with my friends. I can enjoy films and tv programmes, I can read, if slowly. I can enjoy my food. I am learning to see my life as half full rather than half empty. And, as Elton sings, I’m still standing… I’d be more than happy to talk, although you may have enough support already. And I would also look for counselling/therapy from a trained practitioner. Do not be afraid to seek help. Would your family also take part, even if estranged? Hang in there. You are not alone. We are here for you…
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Thank you lea there’s a hell of a lot of similarities in what you’re saying to how I am ,have left it late but I’m finally getting councelling and got my first session next week.Sadly my wife has found herself a new man so it’s come too late to save my marriage but at least I can try and help myself get better.I have found this site so helpful,so many lovely kind people.Id lost faith in people but now I’m seeing there are many good people left
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And yea anytime you wanna chat you can message me mate,you can vent and get rid of any anger in a safe place
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Hi @Justin , just echoing what a lot of people have already said above , really. I recognise a lot of the feelings that you are describing. I had a TIA just over a year ago and was extremely lucky to have no on-going , permanent physical issues - but I just felt that something ‘wasn’t right’ . People kept telling me how well I looked, but I just wanted to shout that I wasn’t well and was angry at the fact that having worked hard for all my life and just got to the point where I could retire and enjoy the fruits of all that hard work - I’d had that enjoyment taken away from me.
My lovely wife suggested I get some counselling (something that was very alien to me and to how I would normally deal with problems). But, of course, my wife was spot on and I now have weekly sessions with a counsellor and through that have gained back a lot of my excitement about what lies ahead of me in life and a lot of my sense of self worth, the loss of which I now realise was at the core of my ‘not feeling right’ after my stroke. I’ve also learned to be a bit more self forgiving - having a stroke is a major event and it’s not a ‘weakness’ to feel scared, unsure about life, unsure about yourself etc. afterwards.
So I would just re-iterate what everyone’s has said above …
A) you are not alone and the way you are / have been feeling is common to people who have had a stroke.
B) find some way of talking through your feelings , face to face with someone , be that a local support group, counsellor etc.
C) feel proud of yourself that you are still here and fighting to get through this really tough part in your life.
Best wishes, mate , I really hope things start to turn around for you.
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Thank you Keith,just got my referral for councelling accepted so will be having my first session in ten days. I’m actually feeling excited to be able to start working on my feelings and emotions as I have ignored them for too long and as a consequence my life has become very isolated. I’m also a little frightened because through spending the last seven months virtually alone I’m worried about how I’m gonna be able to cope around new people,hopefully my personality comes back and I can start to feel like I’ve got something to say that interests others.As I find I’ve become less and less of a talker and more of someone who sits and nods.
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Well just got off the phone with the therapist at icope,and because of my speech,I’m now getting face to face instead of spending half an hour stuttering away on phone for maybe two sentences.I can’t believe how happy something so silly has made me.No stressing for hours before the call worrying if I’m gonna be able to get my points across in the allotted time and wasting time constantly feeling the need to apologise.Heres to the start of hopefully a new calmer more contented me
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