Hi my name is Shannon I’m 49 and I had a stroke January 7 so I am just coming up on my third month.I am in a nursing home two hours away from my life and I feel like I am a stranger to my life and my body.
I never get visitors my dog is two hours away not knowing where I am and everyone acts like I am a child.
I don’t know how long I should expect to be here or what to do to speed the process.I don’t know anything about home health care.I don’t even ask anymore because everyone thinks they know everything about everything and everytime I ask advice everyone is just waiting to talk instead of listening and then they get mad if I don’t do what they say.
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Hi Shannon
One key thing I found when I returned home is to spend a couple of hours there before you are back for good to work out what adaptions you might need to make life easier.
I was having some grab rails put in the shower, all seemed straight forward but when I was there realised they would have been totally in the wrong place.
When I was in the rehab centre, there were a couple of people there who were a long way away from their other halves. They did find it tough, it was pretty tough dealing with a stroke let alone not having the key things in your life. The important thing is, they did get through it, some aspect of their life got back to normal and they could then get on with battling (with exercise) the physical changes.
Hope it works out for you.
Cheers
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@SATCHLEY1 Hi Shannon, welcome to the forum. Hopefully you’ll get lots of help & support from people on here.
It must be very difficult being so far from home & not getting visitors. Have you thought about setting video calls up with family, friends etc? It’s not ideal but better than nothing.
Maybe give the Stroke Association helplineca call 0300 3300 740 they can offer support & advice & perhaps give you a way forward. They also have people they can match you with to talk to.
People are probably trying to be well meaning and don’t realise that’s not what you want. Sometimes you need to be blunt and tell them you just need them to listen and not offer opinions or things that they think are best for you.
Really hope you get home soon.
Best wishes.
Ann x
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Thanks for the advice It’s really nice to feel as if I have a voice
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Hi Shannon and welcome to the forum, I’m sorry you’ve had to come here but you couldn’t have picked a better place, to ask and get answers, for a shoulder to cry on, to vent your frustrations or to just chat…there always seems to be people around to help in any way we can 
You are probably still suffering from the residual effects of your trauma but naturally and possibly separation anxiety too, both from your loved ones and yourself too, it certainly sounds as though your are.
But a good place to start with your “don’t knows” is show this post to your lead carer/doctor there. They are not doing your mental health any good by not listening and answering your questions.
How is your speech, can you speak/communicate and mobility? You must have an awful lot of questions to ask, I know I did, but at the time I couldn’t communicate.
I’ve had just a taste of the isolation you are experiencing. I was only in hospital for 5 days after a small stroke, but it was during the covid lockdowns so no visitors and no one to talk to because I couldn’t 
@Mrs5K has given you a good contact up there so make good use of it. And come on here and ask away, it’s a good place to get clarification or explanation from fellow stroke survivors who speak our language so to speak
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I can communicate fine I just don’t I guess because I don’t know anyone and I am overwhelmed
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Thank you so much Jane I would have my dog here and I know it would make all the difference in the world because we are very close but unfortunately I don’t have a way to get her to where I am
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Hi @SATCHLEY1 and welcome to the forum. Sorry you’ve had a stroke but you have done well joining this forum. Most of us have also had strokes so can completely relate to much of what you are going through.
I’m sure you are finding these first few months overwhelming and I sympathise with the fact you find that you’re having to face much of it on your own. Please ask as many questions as you like and feel free to blow off some steam if it helps. We know how it can be when trying to come to terms with the many changes that stroke brings.
Good luck with your recovery and remember things will start to get better. I hope to hear of your progress.
All the best,
Mark
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Hi Shannon, I just wish that I could give you a hug. Things will get better for you and everything will be okay xx
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I know the feeling, but in my case I’m also an introvert or at least I was 
The stroke has changed me somewhat, but I was always chatty online anyway.
You know, the sooner you start chatting to others the easier it will come more naturally to you. I assume, if you are in a care home, that there are social/communal areas where you can sit and meet with others.
Some times all it takes is to sit near other residents to spark up conversation or a comment about the weather or even just a mention of feeling a bit lonely today. Anything to break the ice really but please don’t give in and let your feeling isolate you, that will do you more harm than good. You have in fact started the ball rolling, albeit inadvertently, by coming on here…what next will you be doing for yourself 
I bet well be seeing some positive breakthroughs from you after tonight
How are you sleeping by the way, you don’t suffer insomnia do you? Night time is the hardest time for emotions, so this is good time to come on here and talk through it to and give your mind a break.
Looks like we are all wanting to give hugs tonight and not liking what you are going through. So sit back and enjoy the chat, tomorrow is going to be a new day
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Fortunately I sleep very well.I sleep to escape reality honestly.I did that as much as I could before the stroke
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Hi Shannon welcome to being a stroke survivor lol. It does get better over time And that’s why we are all here. Stroke has affected us all differently from speech to funny limbs.So we all help one another, so keep strong and good luck with the future Martin
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So what type of dog do you have, who’s looking after her while you’re in the nursing home and why are you so far away from home? Isn’t there anywhere more local to you in Tennessee, 2 hours away seems a bit much. It’s no wonder you’re feeling so isolated.
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I have a beagle who is staying with a friend who wants her gone because she is acting up because I would imagine because she is away from me.As far as the facility I am at and the distance I am from Alabama but medicaid in Alabama doesn’t cover physical therapy so Tennessee is the closest state that does
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The everyone is other residents or the only people I talk to
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Oh I love the ears of beagles, they’re so soft 
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Welcome to the forum sad to hear what your going through its not nice at all.
My friend has a beagle called Fred… its the only dog i know that barks at bricks…
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My dog Maddie barks at everything I miss her so much but hopefully I will have my disability soon that’s all I am really waiting on to leave.
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This is most probably the most stupid question ever… " oh hang on i am full of them…i am a man wooohoooo"
Some nursing homes do actually let u see your pets like visiting times " breakfast club" <—ignore that bit… but have you actually seen if there are any ways you can actually see your pooch if someone could bring her up as its all about the healing process…? Some do some dont but it could b worth the ask…
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Hang on in there - you are not alone
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