I really appreciate all the comments, Honesty it’s the most interaction I have had since my stroke.I do admit I don’t really warm up to people in person but I was like that before.I have huge trust issues so I guess I don’t ask questions to people in person because I just assume they are working some kind of angle or some reason that’s not above board
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But the thing about your fellow residents, in the nursing home, is that they have probably all got too much going on with their own recoveries to even be considering working angles or anything untoward. The staff I would assume are all about caring for and rehabilitating those in their care surely, and their paperwork of course 
And you are going to have to start asking the staff questions if you are ever going to find out what, where, when’s of how you are going to get home again. They are not mind readers so you need to ask the right questions.
I know you are probably right.I guess I am scared of the answers because I don’t want to hear anything I don’t want to know.I know that is stupid but I just don’t want to hear anything that will discourage me.It is so not like me but that is how I am now.Everything is just so different now.I miss my Mom
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We all can have the tendency to want to bury our head in the sand when it comes to facing up to such life change traumas. Being away from home makes it all the tougher for you, I’m sure it feels like your life is in complete turmoil.
Maddie is going to be all over you when you return home, she won’t want to let you out of her site 
Do you know who you can speak to about going home and when? What are your abilities, can you walk and or have the use of both arms or are you having physio for that.
I can stand I don’t know if I can walk my physical therapist hasn’t done any walking exercise with me.I can stand for at least two minutes she did that exercise last week I can use one arm but the other one is in a sling I am working with theraputty.
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I don’t know if you live alone at home, but if that is the case, personally I think it would be wiser to stay at the nursing home until you can at least walk. It would be far safer I would have thought. Is this why you are in the nursing home perhaps, because you wouldn’t manage at home alone.
Maybe you should set aside the emotions and consider the practicalities of moving back home first. If at home in your current state of immobility, should you take a bad fall, who would be around to get you up again, how would you managed in the bathroom, how would you get your shopping done or meals prepared. These are the sort of things I’d consider first before making any big decision about going home. I dare say you are still in the throws of Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as most of us seem to experience. And your brain still has a lot of good healing to do, you don’t want jeopardise that, it takes around 6mths for the initial recovery.
It’s 2yrs 4mths since my TIA (mini stroke), I was in hospital for about a week but I dubious about going home and coping even though I have a hubby and 2 young adult children at home to help me.
I still have weakness down right side but can use both stroke arm and leg now but back at the beginning it was a lot of cruising the furniture to beginning with to get around the house Didn’t even have a walker/zimmer frame, though I doubt I could have used one with my arm out of action too
Used the theraputty a lot along with some other hand grip exerciser for strengthening hand, and wrist, manipulating clothes pegs and picking up coins. Sometimes it felt your life was like wading through treacle to do anything. Patience and persistence is what it needs isn’t it
Although I can do most things with my right hand now, I find I’m still struggling with things like the computer keyboard, I’m hitting the wrong keys a lot and the fingers tense up. That’s why it takes so long to write a response, I’m forever correcting my hand’s mistakes 
I think my right hand doesn’t want to coordinate with my brain sometimes…usually when I’m getting tired I think 
I have Aphasia too which which doesn’t help finding the right words, a stammer and slurred speach when tiring too
Oh the joys of getting old and I’m only 62 next Saturday, though some times it feels more like 102 
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good luck shannon
I also felt my authority go out the window…
but with time you will claim some of it back
best wishes
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