I have worked out from what has been happening that he can be calm and very pleasant for several days and then suddenly he throws a strop and won’t do what he is asked to do. He just keeps repeating that he is going to walk out and go home. This is not an option as at that time his brain forgets that the stroke has made him less independent. He phoned me one evening at 7pm telling me he wanted to come home. This upset me as no words from me would calm him down. I then said I will see you tomorrow and he put the phone down. He was in a strop when I arrived today as they wanted him to use a pedal machine and he didn’t want to so they gave up until tomorrow. He is like two different people and I don’t know what I am going to find from one day to the next. I suspect if I walk away and don’t argue with him he will calm down sooner. Has anyone else had this experience?
@H5JHR my first days as a stroke patient were like that. I somehow got out of bed and was shouting that I needed to go home, and they were holding me against my will. I wanted for the police to be called as they would see to it I was released. They had to summon two burly security guards, totally unnecessary as I was weak as a kitten, a nurse was holding me from moving.
I was very, very frightened, I had no idea at all where I was or what was happening. I don’t know how long this went on but eventually I settled down, happily to not have a repeat of it. Looking back I suppose in some way I was responding to what was happening to me, but I didn’t have any proper idea of how difficult I must have been.
What I am trying to say is that it did pass and I am aware of what happened, although sorry for being such a pain.
@H5JHR that must be really difficult for you & for him too. Hopefully it will settle down soon. You’re doing an amazing job. xx
Thank you for sharing that Bobbi. I hope this is just a phase David is going through as it was for you. I have only ever experienced those with physical disabilities after a stroke. The mental side is totally alien to me.
Thank you Loshy. It’s great to have some support.
Hello @H5JHR. I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. If it helps to know I have been told by my husband that when I was in HDU, they had to phone him to try and calm me down as I believed I was in a pub and the other patients were upsetting me with noises from their machines. I was demanding to go home and wanted them to ring my parents to pick me up. Probably part stroke/memory but partly the drugs I was on. I have no recollection of this at all. Your husband is probably at a stage that he is trying to piece things together and still trying to make sense of it. It is normal to become more uncensored but you enter a period of relearning and that includes how you interact with others. If I had a pound for every strop I’ve had mostly inappropriately I’d be a rich woman. It takes a great deal to be on the recieving end of it and remain calm but it sounds like you are doing really well. Look after yourself, Julia x
Thank you for that JuliaH. I appreciate all the support I’m getting as it helps me to put things into perspective.
Hi H5JHR yes a confusing time for David. With me in the early days I was convinced the nurses where up to no good and selling us off , my son visited me and was very concerned about what I was saying, when the consultant visited me I told her the nurses were dealing drugs and selling us. After a few days things calmed down and thought if I go on like this they’ll transfer me to psychiatric ward. When home noises effected me couldn’t stand emotional storylines on radio and had tantrums and lost all interest in most TV. It’s a tough time for him and for you so ask for support from family and friends to help you through this time, all things must pass and I a see how difficult that period was but we came through it, and I’m sure you will too. If your concerned about anything ask here, I’m sure we can help. Stay safe and look after yourself. Pds
In a post above I wrote about my first experiences as I entered hospital with a stroke beginning to happen.
Talking about ‘mental aberrations’ isn’t something one does, is it?
It’s okay to talk about other peoples’ strangeness but generally you keep your own under your hat, so to speak.
Well I done it in that post, actually I done it once before in this Forum.
I first felt able to fess up about strangeness after a visitor to one of the other lads on my ward in hospital told me how her husband was convinced there had been a cat which had moved in under his bed. (It tempts me to add - lucky it wasn’t a crocodile !) 
Anyway that enboldened me to mention my first strange experiences. Now it seems there are others speaking out and here in this thread, too. It seems this was not limited just to me, then. If they send round the white van with the attendants all dressed in white to collect me, it will, I’m guessing need to be a very large van to carry all of us. I always felt safe, before, as long as I kept it to myself.
I was beginning to think I should delete that post above just so my sanity wouldn’t be brought into question at some future date.
. . . but no ! ! Talking about it can enable and release others. Also those around us who have had to endure with us our short separation from reality will have a better idea of what has been going down.
Okay I’ve said my say, maybe it makes no sense, I think it was worth a mention, anyhow.
Maybe it should be looked into further elsewhere.
Hi H5JHD, You must feel as if your world has been upside down. Things will get easier with time, be patience, with yourself as well as your husband, ask for advice, from staff, on here and anywhere else e.g The Stroke Association, look after yourself.
All the best for the future, Moira
what you are suggesting is the right thing. Just remember to hold his good hand if possible and let him know you’re there for himeven when you are not speaking. Show him that you care, and that you’re there for him.