What is happening to him, also what is happening to you, is a drawn out adjustment to the event and the effects it has.
From the point of view of the hospital it is a continuing assessment, where treatment is adjusted according to the findings. The first things that are addressed are issues that are or can become life threatening. The human body is very complex and the brain manages and controls its functions. In many ways a stroke is random so affected areas are equally random. Some of these will not be obvious and it can take some time before they are observed and an attempt to treat is put in place.
You will see that you are both in the middle of a process that takes some time. After around two months what your particular case needs in the form of treatment and stability will be much closer to being resolved.
What this means is taking everything day by day and not expecting too much information in terms of what the future might hold. As far as you are concerned, there are changes and adjustments that you will get used to. Your support from now on will be something he will need but if he is like me he will easily become conflicted and start seeing himself as a ‘burden’. Sharing the load with others can help.
So after 2 months, you ain’t done yet. Make the effort to put on a smile and continue. You’ll now be dealing with the practical aspects of life and doing various forms of rehabilitation, relearning stuff that has suddenly become difficult. Learning that not only the way that stroke affects each of us differently but also that making progress with it can progress at different speeds. That guy over there is walking around after just a few days, the other guy on the bed next to him has never got up and only seems to sleep all day. This is another time when support is what a stroke survivor uses to strengthen and continue.
After three months you ain’t near the finishing line, so someone out there cheering you on is what you need to hear. Four months, five months, six months, so much change but still a stroke survivor.
Look through posts in this Forum you’ll see the weeks and months turn into years. You’ll build what it all turns into together.
I suppose what I am trying to say that what you will need both now and in the future is time.
Give yourself and him time to kick back and relax, to smile. There will be plenty of demands for effort, but a chance to rest will give you a time to repair.
Don’t forget that this Forum is here. There will always be an ear to listen here. You won’t be judged. Please make use of it as you find your way through what has been thrown at you.
Jeanne
