Few weeks ago i share story about my brother and his stroke.How is going now......!?His speech is better but mostly he just repeat what im sayng.He doing well just if he cant say properly word start swearing whats make me laught :D
I didnt mention yet that finaly im able to have FACE TIME with him I was and im so happy able to see him at least like that.Ofcourse it was sad to see him without left skull and all his scars on hands and neck as he was trying to suicide :/
I can see he is nervous,anxious because his memory is gone,he dont remember whats hapened to him,he dont remember me and his family.I think he is talking with me because im that person who call him every day and tallk with him so he probably think im close person.
Yesterday was very emotional day he show me his scars and than he start cry.I was trying to calm him down but...i start cry as well.Its so heartbreking.....After our conversation on FACE TIME i couldnt stop cry hour.Fell useless because dont know how i can help him.Specialy when i still cant visit him.
The good news is that National hospital for neurology and neurosurgery in London will take him when free bed available.So now i cant wait because i know they have amazing facilities.
I dont know or i have specific question.I do know its still eardy days but if anyone have some advice i will be thankful
By the way...Gavin1410 I hope you get my message back.I didnt get your answer so not sure or you get mine.
Raminta, There is some very good news in your post. Hopefully, things will improve further when he gets to the National hospital. It's good you can now see him as well as talk to him. Glad his speech is returning and, with support, his memory may well improve. Don't worry about the swearing. I rarely swore before my stroke, but can swear like a trouble if I drop something or have problems doing a task.
These are still very early days so take heart. Stroke recovery is often slower than we would like, but it does come.
You send us promising news ! You can see and talk to your brother with your Apple ipads. Facetime is very good, isnt it.
Stroke will change our emotions. Before stroke I never cried but soon after stroke I cried over little things, and big things. Some stroke survivors laugh but many of us cry. My crying has eased a lot, and I now cant quite manage a funeral but everything else I can do without tears.
Things will improve. It happens so very slowly, but things will improve.
I remember the nurse call me and she said that brother wants talk with me on Face Time. I was so happy. But i didn't have ipad. So my lovely boyfriend looked on Facebook market some cheep ipad. We was on the way to other town when i get video call from the nurse personal phone and all the way i was tallking with brother and nurse was helping a bit. Bless her ?And surprise... She was from the same country as we are❤️
I do know stroke survivors they cry a lot. Just my brother have a bit more sadness because of nasty scars and its scary for him. I alredy thinking how to cover them so he dont have to see all the time.
Im happy how he is doing and i know it will be better just need time?
If i can ask you, what helps you to cry less or to by not so emotional after stroke?
Take care Colin and thank you for messaging me ??❤️
Yes everything getting slowly but better. I was telling brother he know how to swear more than anything?and he just sayed all swearing words he know what makes me laugh. Can't wait when he will be able to say more what he want because now more he repeating what im saying ?
Hi Raminta, Glad to hear things are slowly improving. The National Hospital at Queens Square is an amazing place and if anyone can help your brother, they will. I'm 3 years post stroke and have been attending the FES clinic (functional electronic stimulation) as an outpatient since my discharge from a local hospital rehabilitation unit. I have I also taken part in a research study in relation to the upper limb clinic .
I was reading and watching videos about this hospital. Is looks amazing. Now im praying brother will go soon there.
I think times changing and its a lot opportunities to get better rehabilitation.
And i never lost hope that my brother will be much better one day. Even when doctors some time ago told me he not gona use his right anymore i still have faith?
Hi Raminta, hope that your brother will soon have a place in the specialist hospital - that will be amazing and will give him the best chances of improvement. Fingers (and everything) crossed that happens really soon ?
Hang in there - you will shed bucket loads of tears - hopefully they will become happy tears as he makes his recovery. It's an emotional roller-coaster and we don't have an on/off button, we just have to go with the ride!! Take each day as it comes - there will be good and bad days, but keep strong and remember there will always be someone here to talk to.
Time to time i was thinking about you and how are you?
Thank you for your message.
Im happy to see brother Paulius getting better. Its just so heartbreaking because i see him how he is upset because of paralyse, scars, memory and of course i believe loneliness.
Im my hear i feel like i have stone. Time to time i cry and its help to fell a bit better. He is my little brother and always will be?
Hopefully soon he will go to that hospital for proper rehabilitation ?
Please remember your brother and I are male and crying is a very rare experience. So we arent very clever at knowing what to do.
I just let the tears flow then got on with something else. Definitely didnt dwell over it. I upset two sets of friends because I wouldnt attend funerals.
Some TV programs set me off, so I just watched something else.
Now, apart from funerals, I am OK and tears are no longer flowing. So its just a matter of time. Letting my brain sort itself out. Things do improve.
I keep positive. I smile a lot. Fake smile, forced smile, false smile does the job, but just smile a lot.
I try to make him smile as much as possible when i see he is upset.
If you dont minde me ask... How did you accept that you had stroke and that your life not gona be the same. Or what helps you? I think thats why my brother cry now?
This is a wonderful site - someone will always be thinking of you, even if they don't send a message at the time. Everyone here knows how hard life can be after stroke. I hope your brother has appropriate counselling as well as all the other rehab programmes, it sounds as though he really needs some help to re-build his confidence and self-esteem.
It takes time. In the beginning I think everyone hopes the stroke will go away. Acceptance is something your brother will ha e to do. We all do it in our own way.
In my case I was sat at home one day and I realised that I could!d either give up and feel sorry for myself or just get on with it.
Raminta, This is probably one of the hardest things your brother will have to do. Part of your brain thinks 'I'll be okay tomorrow'. You even dream of being as you were, however, your body tells you otherwise.
I am lucky in that I accepted my stroke early on and decided to work hard at being the best I could be. I tackled everything on a step by step basis e.g. walk as far as the next house then walk back and add a new house every day until I got to the end of the road. This took a good 12 days, but I made it.
Four years later I was walking reasonably, going away on breaks, going to exercises and along comes Lockdown. Then, a month ago, I had a second mild stroke. Again I was depressed and it left my weak left hand weaker again, but I still have the same attitude. I am exercising my weak hand using old exercise techniques I first used four years ago and I am back walking.
I am quite old now, but when I have regrets about not being able to do things I used to, I do a mental check on when I actually did them.....often I miss things that I last did at least thirty years ago or more. For example, walking up a mountain. I will never do that again, but last year I went up Snowdon by train.
The best advice I had was from my consultant six months after my first stroke. He said to me, 'Although you are not yet the person you were, remember to be the person you are now'. So I fight on, despite Covid, despite lockdown. Life has to be lived rather lived as living death.
Wow?Bless you ?I hope my brother he will use his angry feelings to power fight with everything what will be. He show me he is angry because right body side paralysed and no memory. And he is still very young only 27 years so hopefully its big benefit. One day when he feel better i will show him all messages from people who write me and how mush inspiration i get ?
I am sure that the tears are the stroke. It changes all sorts of things and crying is one of them. Some of us laugh rather than cry. But both are inappropriate reactions by our brain. It does not mean we are upset about anything.
I was 90% paralysed so there was no way I could not accept I had a stroke. I was so pleased when the doctors said I could recover, and so I practised all the physio, three times over. Then I walked. Who wouldnt want to walk if they had been paralysed ?
I continually tried and tried to get the best I could. At no one time did I suddenly think "this is a permanent change".
I did soon grasp that some of the damage will not reverse.
I dont think you need to make brother smile. He needs to smile, even when no one is around. Your fabulous support will help him. But only he can make his own recovery. No one else can get him better, it is all down to him.
Bit by tiny bit I thought about what I can do rather than what I can not do. I worked away as much as I could in my very long garden. I went shopping on my own. I made some meals. Just everyday things, bit by bit.
Yes I was upset. I had worked hard and retired at 65 years old. Then I only get 3 years when the stroke spoilt everything.
But I was allowed to live. Many of us do not survive. So why did I survive ? I have been looking for the answer for the last 4 years !
I am a practising christian. My church friends prayed for me. I prayed for others in my hospital ward. Religious belief does give an inner support.
I know from nurses and doctor my brother he is smiling to them, he was friendly and still is. I really hope he will have power to survive everything and fight.Today i ask him to count. I want see or he remember. And well done, he counted correctly ?
Im really happy with all his small progress.
I do bealive in God, praying every day and thanking for my brother. And thank you for your prayers Colin.
I was and im so happy able to see him at least like that.Ofcourse it was sad to see him without left skull and all his scars on hands and neck as he was trying to suicide :/