Lonliness, and big life changes…You and I definitely have that in common. I am at two years now in a few weeks. Long enough to know most of the life changes were actually for the better even though they were unexpected and scary when they happened and for awhile after. A little dose of Duloxitine has been helpful for anxiety and depression, but does not stop the loneliness from creeping in. If I could drive or had transportation, I would be out with friends or joining a MeetUp, taking classes at the local library, or paying for a YMCA membership and hanging out in the pool. You will find plenty of people who move at your speed, either because it is theirs as well, or they have the patience to be a good friend. Best wishes.
2 Likes
Hey!
You’re not alone. My husband has just left me too, I’m having to stay with friends. I have no idea what to do at the moment.
2 Likes
@Louise_W what i would say is take time to process what has happened, deal with the emotions etc. You don’t need to rush into making any decisions. Take stock and then think about how you move forward. One day at a time…things will become clearer in time.
3 Likes
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is frightening trying to figure how to work things out on your own as well as disheartening to say the least for someone who should be your partner in all things, jumping away when we need them most. I also lost my boyfriend of 8 years while in hospital. He neglected to tell me, just ghosted. It ended up being a blessing in disguise. I hope that is what you will find as well. I am trying to continue to pay the bills on half the income I had while working. I am blessed to be able to have done it this long (2 years) but I am now at the point I will have to consider using retirement money (which is not substantial) or begging for gifts from family and friends. I have faith that it will work out, just not sure how right at the moment. I am just a couple thousand dollars a year short, but can’t think of anything to cut back further. It does work out, just not always the way we planned it, or forsaw it. Hang in there.
2 Likes
Thank you. I’m so sorry to hear about your boyfriend, oh my goodness. Maybe it’s like what you said, a blessing in disguise. I’m glad you’re able to work but the bills must be tough. Funnily enough, I’m looking for somewhere to live, are you renting a room?
1 Like
I am unable to work or I would be okay with money. I have a home I am still paying for. At least for now. I live in the US or I would offer you a room. So many of us these days live in multi generational homes or with roommates due to economic issues. My daughter and grandson live with me. The other daughter has just moved out but stays here often. It is nice to have the company when they aren’t hiding in their own spaces, doing their own thing. Grandie keeps me company most. I hope you have special people in your life to share time with. So many of us don’t thanks to spending our lives in the workplace, away from friends and family.
2 Likes
I’m not working at the moment either. The last 3 years have been lonely. I moved in December 2019. After my stroke in July 2020 , then went through all my cancer up until July 2021, I don’t have any friends. I’m back in the UK now and I’m staying with a friend but it’s hard to go back to being normal now after 3 years of staying home and only seeing my husband. I’m so self-conscious now due to my aphasia. I have no idea how to make friends now
1 Like
Well the very best place to start that journey would be to join a Stroke or Aphasia group local to you. These groups are great for building your confidence back up help show you your way forward. I’m an introvert, I’m naturally quiet and I too have Aphasia. We were in lockdown when I had my stroke but I knew online and phone therapy wasn’t going to be enough for my speech, I needed real people. So the first thing I did when we came out of lockdown was check out what support was available in my area, using the link below and I’ve never looked back. I was fortunate to find an Aphasia group local to me and they are a good bunch of friends to me, both younger and older; maybe you could find one too if you check it below. You don’t need to feel alone and lonely, I’m sure all the support you need can be found if you take that first step 
Go on, I dare you 
Good luck 
3 Likes
I second this opinion. Even if you are shy, anxious, introverted, quiet, embarrassed. I believe you will find the only one judging is you. Just practice saying, “Hello, I am Louise” because likely, those are two things you will be saying a lot of.
I haven’t looked but assume there are also MeetUps in the UK or similar groups of people who get together for certain hobbies, or because they are in a certain age group, or singles, or couples…endless choices. I found those fun (BS) before stroke and have gone to a few since, just transportation issues in the way for now. Quite a few people I have met there over the years have had strokes, including aphasia or chair bound, etc, but still are welcomed and included. Even when the activity involves speaking or dancing. Friends, family, a good support system, activities you enjoy are so helpful.
1 Like
The beauty for you regarding stroke and aphasia groups is you just can’t feel self conscious about your aphasia because we are all more and less the same. One young lady in my aphasia group is about 28yrs old, she can talk stiltedly and like me struggles with her words; one older gentleman who can only say baa baa ba but he can even get his point across without the use of his tablet and another gentleman with a very bad stammer. Some come with their spouse/carer, others, like me, come alone. Same goes for the stroke groups, and even with mixed physical abilities. With some it’s hard to know they have anything wrong with them, then you discover they still come because they enjoy the company and the banter. So if a introvert like myself can do it, so can you
There also Age UK you can checkout online for anything in your locality. They are a mixed age group of over 50’s and some are younger than that depending on types of social/activities you go for. And they too are also of mixed abilities and won’t judge and can be very encouraging too.
So again, I dare you 
1 Like
It’s so reassuring to know that you understand, that everyone in the group understands. I really don’t know how I’ve only just found this group! Is there anything section for meet-ups and things? I’m not quite how to navigate the website. And I’ll have to double dare you now 
!
3 Likes
I understand what you mean with transport. I’m a bit stuck at the moment, I don’t have a car. I haven’t driven since my stroke and I don’t know if I’d be too anxious.
2 Likes
Hi @Louise_W
There are very many in person stroke groups throughout the country. Those that are stroke association affiliated are listed here
also many independent groups and groups run by other organisations like Different Strokes, Chest heart and stroke Scotland, Age UK etc etc
The nearest to a My Stroke Guide group are a couple of online groups
Details of one are
See Thursday online 'cafe' (also Carers)
It’s a volunteer run & stroke association enabled group run by several of us
We have several regulars with varying degrees of aphasia and/or introversion and one of my local face-to-face groups has a lady with severe aphasia, I have very mild word finding difficulties. Everybody is very patient because they know that it takes a little time to say what you want to say but it’s very valuable to have the chance.
There are other services like Eva park run by city of London university Which is an online community designed for people with aphasia to meet in an environment where they can practise their needs to overcome speech and language challenges of varying sorts. I’m unsure of the joining details of the moment it used to be with a therapist as it was in research stage I think it’s moved on
The other zoom is the ZOG group Which you’ll find under groups in the menu at the top. It’s an independent zoom called run by @Bobbi
Different strokes run a community like this one on Facebook and they have fortnightly zoom meetings on varying days in it varying times. They divide up into little groups of four or five people with a host for about 45 minutes. They start an end with everybody in a room so the tends to be 20 plus people at the beginning and end .
There are also stroke forums on the number of different platforms if you want to know more I can explain but I don’t think they would give you anything extra over MSG and possibly different strokes.
I’m more than happy to help if you’re not sure about how to get online. For the Thursday zooms you only have to click the links in the post above and your phone laptop tablet etc will do the rest. Eva park is probably more complex but I’m happy to help there too .
If you want help message me or just reply here
Ciao Simon
1 Like
We do all know and understand and understand because we are all in the same boat with varying degrees of the same condition. It’s why we are here, because no else can possibly understand what we are going through…unless they go through it themselves…and who would wish that on anybody 
How is it for you navigating the internet in general or is it just this site you are unfamiliar with? Is it the stroke/aphasia effects that are the issue? It took me the part of 2yrs to finally manage to get on this site because of the stroke/aphasia effects. I’ve only been on since last March but it has helped me enormously with both my aphasia and physical rehab like finer motor skills of fingers. All the mental juggling and recall of conversations as well as using all the functions of the site. I never did figure out how to ask my hubby to find and sign me up for this site but I got there myself in the end 
I’d say my aphasia in general has improved by about 80% since I had stroke 2½yrs ago and a good chuck of that has been through helping on this site Count your blessings, not your troubles
If it would be useful with your aphasia when out and about, you could order one of these wallet sized (85x55mm) plastic card carries, free from the Stroke Association
Communication card | Stroke Association shop.
Or make your own
I made something similar and found it quite useful, though didn’t need it much as had my hubby with me. I thought it might be useful when out and about but we were in lockdowns at the time and taking in deliveries didn’t require much conversation
But I was pleasantly surprised just how helpful it was in places like the post office or supermarkets even with the postman In fact, one checkout woman in the supermarket recognised the condition as she’d heard on the news about Bruce Willis having it.
I don’t know how useful this might be to you, I just came across it while looking for the card above so I’ve not actually read it.
Ah, but for what 
1 Like
Thanks for your reply. I do fight off the despair but I find the periods of feeling unwell stop me doing so much. Headaches and weakness a falling asleep all the time drive me nuts. My ex husband still manages to let me know that I don’t try hard enough and I left him so I’ve given up explaining now. Some people have no empathy so it’s useless.
My new man friend has now
found someone else who doesnt get this stuff and can ride bikes and be active I’ve found it painful to endure that he’s done this… He still rings me and occasionally pops down but being happy and cheerful desert me sometimes. I think that the isolation this stroke brings about is what needs to be addressed and it’s no good trying to explain. People’s eyes glaze over so it’s best to keep it short and sharp. I’m joining things where I can take part I hope. Thanks for your kind thoughts.
2 Likes
It’s this site in particular that I’m struggling with. I only have my phone, no computer. Are there meet-ups and things here? Maybe I’m on the wrong section? Struggling to concentrate
2 Likes
@Louise_W
I posted the details of groups and online meets for you in this thread (stream of messages) above - scroll upwards by stroking your phone screen from bottom to top and youll scroll backwards through the messages. The details I’m talking about are about 5 messages back - immediately before emeralEyles post that also gives useful links for stuff, alternative way to get to it with this just to tap this link Stroke ended my marriage and changed everything - #21 by SimonInEdinburgh
Are you using the app on your phone? I find it most convenient I don’t use a computer for this site.
You can download the app by following instructions on this link
I’m prepared to give it a go to try helping you do that - alternatively or possibly as well if you know a teenager they’ll be able to follow the instructions like an expert! 
Caio simon
2 Likes
I struggle with it on my phone too so I only tend to access on my computer, I know where I am with that.
As @SimonInEdinburgh has said, he has already given you all links to both online and in-person groups including his Thursday Online Cafe just click on the blue text to take you to the post where you can find access to that. Thursday online ‘cafe’ also Carers & Young person’s
2 Likes
I’ve downloaded it! Yey! Thank you!
3 Likes
that is great - well done
2 Likes