hi everyone. I’ve just set up a profile on here in a bid to find some help with the emotional brick wall I’ve now hit. Let me explain what’s happened to me, as briefly as possible but no promises!!!
After my ex of 15 years decided he didn’t want me anymore I found myself living in a rented flat, our daughter spends her time 50/50 with me and him. My Gp had confirmed that I was going through the menopause (blood tests) and I was planning to start HRT to help with sweats, brain fog etc. I’d been on my own for 1 year and feeling a little overwhelmed. I also had immense pain in, what the hospital thought, was my gallbladder so was awaiting a scan appointment. One evening whilst talking to my mum on the phone I felt that I was slurring slightly. I checked in the mirror-no face drop but randomly if I stuck my tongue out it didn’t go straight out-instead it turned so far to the left it touched the side of my face! Being 46, stroke didn’t enter my mind, I thought maybe Bells Palsy. I went to bed, next morning, I felt fine but was still slurring. Called GP who said go A&E now. CT scan clear, stroke nurse physical assessment didn’t raise many concerns but senior consultant insisted I had an MRI. That was when my world turned on it’s head more so than ever before - I’d had a stroke. I remembered I just laughed at him and said no I can’t have because I’m buying a house next week!!! My dad (who drove me there) was looking puzzled and asked on a scale of 1-10 how bad, consultant said a 5. I expected to go home but I was very wrong - had to stay in hospital for a week . There were 4 of us in the bay I was in and sadly 3 weeks after I came out 2 of them had passed away. Then the fun really started (that is slightly sarcastic) there’s been a catalogue of incompetences in my follow up care from me having to chase and remind the stroke nurses that no appointment had been made (as promised) for a check up 2 months after discharge to finding out that they actually found an aneurysm on the MRI and needed to be referred to another hospital but they forgot to do it and when they finally did they referred me to the wrong department! Also ultrasound on gallbladder showed inflammation and a mass on my liver of which I can’t get any answers about any of it as they’re all petrified because I’ve had a stroke. 6 co-codamol a day is the only way I can begin to deal with the pain and don’t get me started on menopause symptoms ? I work in an infant school so didn’t go back to work before summer holiday as stroke was at Easter but due back this week but GP won’t let me what with everything going on and fact that they can’t get my blood pressure down and I’m on max dose of Ramipril. I’ve paid for private consultant for gallbladder and liver (which as a single mum who gets no maintenance I can ill afford) and I’ve complained to the PALS team at the hospital which was a waste of time. I’ve really and truly hit an emotional brick wall which has knocked me sideways and it frustrates me because it’s 4 months since stroke. Is this normal? Sorry for the big story but I’d appreciate some advice please if this has also happened to anyone else. I do also struggle accepting that I was 46 when it happened in April and the look of shock on people’s faces when I tell them including medicalprofessionals is difficult sometimes.i need a nap now after all that typing so off for yet another rest ???
I had my stroke in April (end of) 2017. I just turned 50 and am looking forward to spending my golden years. April 26 I just attended a speed awarenes course to make sure my driving license remained clean. I was again looking forward to using my newly acquired driving knowledge. Then two days after that my life turned upside down. I spent 6 weeks in hospital. The first few months, even years, I often sobbed like a child. I just find myself uncontrollably crying my heart out. I just cried this morning because I had a big scare yesterday. I can remember my community physiotherapist telling me whenever I feel frustrated/angry/afraid/depressed, wanting to cry then cry. And I do cry and I find that after crying (as long as I feel like crying) I can face the world again and deal with everything, good or bad.
I found writing down all my thoughts and emotions helped/helps. In my case it helped in many ways - emotionally, mentally and physically. I lost my ability to write with my right hand so for months I was writing with my left hand in the journal I started while I was in the hospital. Writing down my thoughts - my fears, confusion, anger, hope, joys - helped. Writing down the things I need to do, the people I need to talk to and about what and by when, everything I found/find helpful. It helped me accept (I am still working on the ACCEPTANCE part of my rehab LOL) that I had a stroke, it changed my life but what do I need to do to make me able to deal with things and make my life the way I want it to be. My family and friends say I have become more bossy and straightforward since my stroke. I have to be. Nobody will listen to me until I make myself clearly heard.
Be open and honest to yourself. It will be painful and hurtful but I hope it will help you. With the help and love and support of your family and friends things will be OK. Improvements, no matter how slowly and frustratingly, laughable at times, will come. I hope you find these things helpful. Don't think that you always have to be strong all the time. I wish you the best.
I had a stroke aged 46. How could I, I was a lead nurse, my job was mainly teaching physical skills, so I wasn't exactly unfit.
Three months into recovery, my progress stopped, an incomplete recovery is the term.
I found that emotional regulation was difficult, I had support from the stroke team psychologist, and Neuro-psychiatric input, they helped, unfortunately it does mean medication in my case. I'm not saying that will be the same for you, but if you are isolated, you need to find someone that can help you rationalise your thought, and have a gauge as to what is normal for you.
Also Headway can offer short or long-term help. Headway gives you good peer support, so they are worth having a look at, they will set up funding if it is appropriate for you.
I'm now over eight years in, and still find things can get on top at time's, again I'm not suggesting it is the same for you.
I hope you do try to engage with a support service.
As for work, I haven't been able to return to work. The Dr will not sign you as fit for work until you are.
J had my stroke two months ago I now find I cannot text accurate my how so I import this I cannot count out five slices of bread accurate my for instance.xan anyone hello have been very liyckycanwalj a d rkkj. Pam creed
Hi Pam - worried about you. Are you trying to do too much too soon? Stroke is an overwhelming event, and you are still at the very early stages, so your brain needs lots of rest. I hope you have a friend or family close by who may be able to help, but I know this is difficult with Covid-19 situation.
Hi welcome to the forum, where you can rant or ask for advice whenever you want, all of us know what your going through to some degree. I think it would be a good idea for you to ring the Stroke helpline and ask to be put in touch with a stroke coordinator in your area, hopefully there will be one, they are amazing. The hospital should have done this automatically, but going by your treatment so far I wouldnt hold up a lot of hope. Also talk to your doctor, there are things going on that really do need sorting out. As for work I too was a TA in a primary school and I was off work for a full year and when I went back it was only for two 5hr days as that was all I could manage. Your doctor will sign you off until you are ready, we are all different and stroke recovery takes a long time and you need to listen to your body. Good luck keep us posted. Wendy
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Hello Pam, As Nic says 2 months is very soon after a stroke. Very well done for finding this forum and posting a message. This is not an easy site to find your way round. Although no two strokes are the same, as a group we share some similar problems and can relate to specific issues. You write that you never lost the ability to walk and talk which is very positive. I hope that you have received all the assessments (OT, Speech and Language, Physio, Mental Health) before your transfer home after the stroke. I can imagine that the current virus situation may mean these services have not been fully carried out. Your difficulties with texting/typing and counting, I guess, would be identified and helped by speech and language therapy. I had 10 weeks hospitalisation after my haemorrhagic stroke 4 years ago so was fortunate to have most of these therapies to help me. Through your GP make sure you have a copy of your diagnosis (from the hospital) and then follow up some additional support asking for more help with those problems which are less apparent. People will expect you to be back to the same Pam, with no obvious difficulties. They will find it difficult to accept that you have been changed by the stroke and you will also find it hard. Rest, rest and rest. You can work on things when you feel stronger and better able to accept what has happened. It’s normal to feel like you do, and it will improve with time and your efforts. Pat
Hi Pam, I can sense that you have lots you want to share and to say, and this is very frustrating for you. We will be here, don't worry, people will be looking out for your posts, even though this is an awkward site to use.
Give yourself plenty of rest, it looks as though you run out of steam very quickly once you begin an activity - this is very normal post-stroke symptom. It is your brain's way of trying to protect itself, this is the time to stop and take a rest, your brain will thank you for it.
We will look out for your posts. Take care, gets lots of rest, recovery will come if you take care in these early days. xxxxxx
The problem with stroke recovery is the need to accept that it is a brain injury and not an illness. Recovery is very slow. If you do too much too soon, your body will react and warn you to stop. Please take things slowly from now on and rest when you need to.
Covid 19 is worrying for us all, but we must do our best by taking precautions and avoiding situations where we might meet lots of people. Worrying about it may have caused additional stress leading to a seizure. Seizures after stroke are not unknown but frightening just the same.