Hi all,
I apologise in advance if I haven’t put this under the right category or there is already a subject.
I’m a little lost as my dad suffered a stroke 4 weeks tomorrow, when he was admitted to hospital he suffered a further bleed on his brain that night.
My dads in his early 70’s and im his next of kin after we lost my mum a few years ago.
I am completely riding this emotional rollercoaster (with far more downs than up’s) and just looking to chat to any relatives or anyone really as this current world my dad and I are living is very isolating. My dad has lost the use of his right hand side but his leg is working a lot better now. Sadly it’s his speech and communication which we aren’t sure about as well as his mental state, it’s just a lot and I’m lost in all honesty.
Hi @Natkaty, welcome to the forum full of stroke survivors and carers. I’m so sorry to here about your dad but you’ve come to the right place to seek help. So glad you have found this wonderful place full of support and helpful advice, and it’s a great place to just chat and offload when you need to.
Your dad is only in the very early stages of recovery, it takes 6mths for the initial fast recovery and a lot of improvements can be made in that time; improvements are slower after that but still keep coming.
It is a bit of a rollercoaster ride so just take it one day at a time. Just because his speech and communication are gone…for now…doesn’t necessarily mean he is not fully compos mentis. Please keep on talking to him as he may still understand everything perfectly clearly, just unable to respond or communicate back to you. I was in a similar situation and it can be quite frightening, I know how that feels.
He will also tire easily and sleep a lot in those first months of recovery. The brain will be working overtime to heal and repair the damage done. Which is why it’s too early to tell yet how much he will recover. For me, communication came back onboard gradually over the first few months, though I do still have a touch of aphasia. It’s been 2½yrs since my stroke and can communicate well, I’m still finding improvement in my speech.
My stroke affected my right side affecting both leg and arm/hand but they too recovered sufficiently enough to regain some independence those first months. Now the up to about 90% normal…still have minor niggles to improve upon.
All strokes are different depending on which parts of the brain have been damaged. It might help you both to keep a diary of his progresses so that you can look back on for those days when you feel there is none and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Is he still in hospital or is he home with you now, you haven’t said?
If you click on Support and Resources below, you will find both the Stroke Helpline and Here For You. They will be able to help and advice you in all sorts of ways, you don’t have to be alone or feel so isolated in this. And we will all be here for you any time you need to chat or have questions.
If you have a question or need to talk, our confidential Stroke Helpline is here to support anyone affected by stroke in the UK, including family and friends.
Call our Stroke Helpline now on 0303 3033 100 or email helpline@stroke.org.uk.
Weekly volunteer calls - Here For You
nobody could make any sense of anything i said after my stroke… when i heard what came out of my mouth I didn’t blame them… i couldn’t understand a word i said either ( listening to myself )
However, listening to others made 100% perfect sense… so that’s what I did… & very comforting it was, too
Hopefully things will slowly improve for you & your Dad,
Good luck to you, both
ciao, Roland
@Natkaty just wanted to say hi & welcome to the forum. I echo everything thats already been said.
Its important to look after yourself too as this affects you as much as your dad.
Ask away on here there’s usually someone who can offer advice & support.
Sending my very best wishes
Ann
Hi @Natkaty
Welcome to the forum. As others have said this is the best place when you’re a stroke warrior, career or survivor to seek support and understanding and make sense of the myriad of new things that you’ll have to adjust to.
I fully support all the advice given above.
You might find this list useful too
40 things
Also are the risk of overwhelming ly long list you might also see of anybody listed here is in your local area .
There’s lots of other threads in the past of talked about something that you’ll likely to run into during the long recovery journey ahead The search magnifying glass at the top of the page is a really useful way of identifying topics of interest as they emerge and reading through the collective wisdom of the crowd
PS is an online zoom cafe every Thursday run by Louise and I. Tomorrows is hosted by Louise at 10:30 a.m. BST on https://bit.ly/StrokeThuCafes where you can chat without agenda about whatever’s on your mind. I’ll do next Thursday at 1:00 on the same link and so it rolls over. There’s a carer’s cafe tomorrow at 1:30 on https://bit.ly/StrokeCarersCafe run by my wife - is normally very quiet & relaxed and an open space to share stuff on your mind
@natkaty Take the time if you can, to search through this amazing forum…so helpful. Godbless you and your dad in this scary time. Yes it is early on and he can surely make progress with hard work. Can you get in-home therapy where you are? I was lucky to have in-patient therapy and then two therapists came to my home for two months. They made a big difference in my recovery.
All the best; and your dad is so lucky to have you.
Derek
Hi thanks for reaching out for support. I can feel your desperation and emotional load. I am not in your situation hence I would never know what it feels to be you. But all that I can say, up and down the country there are dedicated NHS professional who try their best to support people recover after stroke. I am not sure if your dad is still in hospital? Do you have local Stroke Early Supported Discharge team? I hope that he gets good qulaity inpatient and community support going forward. Wishing you and your dad all the best. Kind regards
Kusal, stroke OT
I know all too well what you are going through. My mother had a stroke 2 years ago. It was the hardest 2 years of my life. You can read my story on this forum. My mother was the same as your father (early 70s). Sadly, she passed on a few months ago, from sepsis (seizure-induced infection led to sepsis). Her suffering is over. She recovered very well physically, but she more or less lost her mind, even though she had her memory and most of her cognition. Emotionally, she went insane over time. It’s hard, but we got through it. My dad and I had no help at all. We refused to put my mother in a care home.
Anyways, go one day at a time. Don’t think too far in the future. Take care of yourself. You won’t be of any help to your father if you don’t look after yourself first. My dad and I did not do this - we neglected our own well-being at times. Don’t do this! If things get too much, ask for help. You can’t do it all all on your own. The hardest thing you will ever do is taking care of someone you love, and doing it with all your might. It takes strength, courage and more love than you could ever imagine.
I am here should you need support and want any questions answered about caretaking.
I am sorry this happened to you. Sadly, it’s just life.
Take good care of yourself,
Matthew
Hello @Natkaty, and welcome. You aren’t alone now. I’m a carer for my husband and two posts in I feel that there are so many supporters there, out in the ether, that whether I need practical advice or just a little bit of empathy, someone will respond.
My 85 year old husband is just over 3 months on his way on the journey. Yes it’s difficult, but you will work our your communication methods just because you know each other so well. Mental state? a bit more tricky, but don’t give up.