I'm trying to ease my wife into rehab when she's insistent on coming home

My wife had a serious stroke 3 weeks ago complete with cranium flap removal for brain swelling. She’s now comfortable in the hospital stroke ward and I’m seeing improvements daily. The staff have been discussing discharge and we are in total agreement that she’s not ready to come home (and I’m not capable of caring for her properly-yet). Unfortunately (not really) she understands much of what has been said and is adamant she won’t go to a local rehab centre and wants to come home. It may be awhile before a bed is available so I’m steering our conversations away from the issue but sooner or later I’m going to have to help her accept that rehab is absolutely the best path to take right now. I’m ready for the temporary tears and the anger that will ensue (I’ve ‘betrayed’ her by siding with the doctors after all) but I suspect some of you may have faced similar issues and might have some advice on how I might make this next step as painless as possible.

Grateful for any and all suggestions.

@skladd welcome to the forum although sorry to hear about your wife’s stroke. It’s a very difficult situation you find yourself in. I’d be surprised if deep down your wife doesn’t know that rehab is the best place for her right now. She will just want to get home ASAP as everyone does. You’ve probably already had the conversation but I would try explaining to her that at this stage she needs specialist help (which you can’t provide) & that having that help now will make things so much easier later down the line. Short term pain long term gain. It’s her best hope of a fuller recovery no doubt & will minimise the risks to her in relation to falls etc which would likely see her back in hospital. I’m sure the nurses & therapists have gone through the benefits & risks with her. Reassure her you’ll be there for her every step of the way. The time she is in rehab buys you time to get the house prepped so it’s safe for her to return etc.
I don’t have experience of this so the above is just my advice.
Best of luck.

1 Like

Many thanks. The physios have indeed laid out the options, pros and cons, but I don’t think she’s processing these correctly yet. She becomes more aware everyday, so hopefully the light will dawn soon.

The great irony is, when her mother suffered a stroke + dementia a dozen years ago, my wife moved heaven and earth to get her into rehab when the professionals didn’t support it. I suspect, as you’ve suggested, she knows it’s the right course. Very stubborn lady, though. Fingers crossed.

1 Like

Rehab is vital before coming home. She will improve more and will come on an accompanied home visit to see what alterations need to be made to help her cope at home. Rehab was my saving Grace.

2 Likes

@skladd welcome, sorry to hear about your wife.

I doubt there’s an easy way to broach the conversation, however the specialist care at the rehab centre will be for the best, they’ll be able to offer the what she needs to move forward.

Reassure her you’ll be there for her.

Best wishes

1 Like

Hi there I can only say what a great experience I had in rehab staff in hospital had limited time so I was only hoisted out of bed once in rehab physio was regular they were encouraging and supportive I learnt how to make a cuppa get dressed with one hand … amazing what u can do with one hand ! It was nice to meet other patients who really knew what I was going through . We cheered at each achievement and shared our disappointment s the therapist s really made me more positive about the future and when I walked for the first time with my quad stick the staff all cheered ! I’d like to think all rehabs were this good but I hope your wife moves to one it would help her recovery I’m sure all the best

2 Likes

Just to add when I eventually came home it was a huge adjustment both physically and emotionally even after being in rehab . I think I would have struggled going home after hospital I’m 62. I think u think url be better off in ur own surroundings but it actually just throws up a whole lot of new challenges

1 Like