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41

Dear Carole

Still enjoying the sound of waves indeed yes. How I would love to be at the seaside to hear them. Pre stroke we would rent a flat on the South coast and that was right on the sea front. No road, just straight on to the beach. So we could go to sleep to the sound of the waves coming up the sandy beach.

I do miss that flat. We would be there now as we had two weeks at the end of June/beginning of July then a week in September.

PiP is hard. Keep at it. They agree in the end. Its too much for the wealthy and too little for the poor. Now I am one of the more wealthy and I think its wrong. I get a huge state pension and an even more huge private pension. And a tiny works pension. 

I used to live on a tennis court. Social tennis but I loved it. We got Wimbledon tickets every year and I couldnt get rid of them ! I would prefer to play rather than watch tennis.

I am in to my gentle yoga classes and it is a good additional therapy.

I believe you have all the hot weather up there and we are cooler. Thats odd isnt it.

I had a new carpet fitted in the conservatory. We went to choose a colour on Thursday and said "no hurry". Carpet was fitted on the Monday. My beloved cat is not happy with us. How dare we change his carpet. The conservatory was his favoured room. Now he runs through it as fast as he can go.

After that was fitted it really sunk home that my entire bungalow needs at least a coat of paint. We moved here in 2011 and had the place torn apart and refitted. Then I spent ten months decorating. Every room. One a month. Wont be doing that post stroke !

Its rotten when you go through a "down" period. Smiling is the best way to ease the problem. Do you get the morning depression that several have mentioned ? 

And you have a good positive attitude, Think what it must be like for those who just give in . I shudder.

Made a summer pudding yesterday. But it didnt set. Still quite edibke, with vanilla ice cream, but I muts do another one. I have made several before and they always set. It might be the cheaper Tesco bread thats the problem/ or too much hot weather.

 

42

Hiya Colin

Glad you are still enjoying the sound of waves.  Likewise, I would love to be by the seaside these days!  Must have been amazing having a place there pre-stroke.  Must also be fab to return soon.  

Cheers re PiP.  Yeah, sooner is it over, the better haha!  I'm not poor, per se, but made a fortune before my stroke and it's horrible dealing with benefits these days.  Needs must, as they say...........

Looks like Novak will win his match soon.  Wow!  Am impressed you played!!!!!!!  I love watching.  Prefer men's tennis, as the game is faster typically.  Also, there is less grunting LOL!

Excellent that you are enjoying the yoga etc.  All v good therapy for you.  My gym classes will start in a week or two AT LAST!!  Yeah, can't believe how warm it has been here, mostly, recently.  Hey, your cat doesn't like the new carpet in the conservatory?  Oh dear!  At least, YOU GUYS do!  At least, my forthcoming re-   decoration will cheer me up after this PiP assessment grrrrrrr!

Am a morning person, always have been.  Will remember to keep smiling next time I feel low.  Not much to smile about then, that's the problem ahem! Only takes a second of stupidity!  Ta.  I know, giving up must be awful, especially for family and loved ones.

Summer pudding?  Well done on the attempt, and keep going!  Lovely with vanilla ice cream in the sunshine!  Stay happy!  Peace Carole :)

 

Summ

 

 

 

 

43

WOW ☺️ words fail me !! Your story is such a boost to carers,family and stroke survivors. Thank you so very much for sharing ....it’s made my evening ... and keep up the excellent work! 

44

Right back atya!  Thanks so much, and I am thrilled if my story can help others!  Am getting there daily, but it has been quite a journey, mentally and physically, as you can imagine.  Thanks again.  More power to you too!  

45

Dear Carole

I did indeed play a lot of tennis. I spent hours and hours at the tennis club. The club insisted on social tennis so there wasnt too much hassle. Gosh we were polite in those days, never hit the ball at the ladies, dont spin the ball to the ladies and dont serve hard. It was a wonderful time. For many years it was wooden bats only and my lack of size and lack of strength didnt matter. Then along came steel bats and it was all crash and bash. And the steel bat gave me tennis elbow. 

I dont care greatly to watch tennis. Will always tune in to support Andy Murray and asked for honorary Scots membership in the short term. Otherwise I much prefer ladies tennis. More close to my level. My last wooden bat was from one of the Whiteman Cup ladies. The man at Queens would restring to my own requirements, so I got a top class bat for half the money. That was a Slazenger, handle heavy, didnt care for the Dunlop head heavy bats.

Good that your Gym is starting. I am sure it will help you as long as you put in some effort.

The smile thing includes false, forced and fake smiles. So if you are miserable and cant manage a natural smile than the false one is pretty good.

We forced ourselves to eat all the runny summer pudding. Will do a better one next week, with bread from a proper bakers.

Thank you for chatting, helps to get us away from the pain and discomfort. Time for a very weak tea with one quarter spoon of sugar.

 

ttfn

Colin

 

 

46

Hi Colin

What a wonderful time you must have had!  Lazy, summer days with wooden racquets!  Sounds idyllic! What a pretty scene it must have been. How polite and gentile, respect.  Pity you got tennis elbow............

I believe Andy is playing in the men's doubles as from tomorrow?  Adore tennis from Queens too.  Think I told you I prefer men's tennis, so we can agree to disagree then haha! Very well done on the Slazenger btw = nice one!  A classy racquet, for sure!

Jeez, am looking forward to the gym class starting, and promise to work hard!  Again!  Will also remember that about smiles, either real or fake!  Hope it's a real smile from you both about the next summer pudding.  Yummy!  Can't beat freshly baked goods.  That smell mmmm!

Also hope you enjoyed that tea.  It's nice to have an online friend, I agree.  July already?  Stay well.  Peace Carole

 

47

Dear Carole

Yes it was another world. I got more kudos at work because I won the garden party tennis tournament than anything I ever did with accountancy.

I loved that tennis club, which I joined at about 12 years old and left at about 52 years old. Saturday afternoons with tea and cakes. Another world.

My most successful employment was as Company Secretary to a chain of wine shops and pubs. The Chairman of our company was also chairman at Queens Club. Now he really could play. Represented England B, but he never qualified for Wimbledon proper. Missed out by one match on several ocassions. I couldnt even stand on court with that level.

Yes Andy will be in the doubles which will be on soon. A good thing about stroke is that we get loads of time to watch TV ! And we get lovely people to have as online friends.

You dont need to work hard at the gym, just be positive and take on board everything. Are there other SS on the course ? I hope there is, that will be good for you.

I mentioned tea because I have it very weak indeed, helps with the hydration. I am now sipping red wine. My better half asked if we could have red wine. Now thats a real change. Rosemary asking for red wine.  And she deserves the wine because she has done a proper home cooked spaghetti bolognese.

That should be consumed in time to see if the English girls can perform a miracle and beat the USA at soccer.

I am very happy after one glass of wine, although I know it plays havoc later on. Two glasses is my max. 

It is indeed July. Are you OK at the moment ? Are you coping with the finances ? and indeed everything else. I do hope all is well for you. We must all enjoy the long days whilst they are here with us. What time does it get dark way up there in the North ? Its about 10pm down here, so I guess its still light at 11pm for you.

Time to go for supper

Best wishes

Colin

 

 

48

That's fab Colin!  Congrats about winning the garden party tournament - wow!  That club sounded amazing, almost dreamy.  I worked in the law by the way, totally loved it and miss it.  Very impressive that you worked for a chain of wine shops and pubs.  What an astounding Chairman too!  Pity he missed out on Wimbledon, but still v well done that man!!!

Yeah, be good to see Andy playing again later, after winning at Queens.  Love being able to tune in live, unlike when I was working full time.  Great to find a like-minded community online, you're right.  Am not sure yet if there are other stroke survivors at the gym, but I will just do what I can - no more, no less.  Don't want to injure myself further.

Red wine with spag bol?  Mmmmmm delish!  Rosemary is a lovely name too.  England women did well.  Pity, but they sure did raise the profile of the sport!  Well done ladies!  Two glasses is my limit now too.  Used to drink before my stroke, not excessively, just socially.  However, was lucky I always knew when to stop.  One of those fellow party girls later became an alcoholic, and that's how it all started apparently = eek!

Am doing fine, thanks, and hope you are too.  Was really down at the w/e, suicidal even.  This forthcoming PiP assessment has really got to me, like others.  However, am fortunate that I can live off savings for now!  It's light here until about 10.30-11pm.  Only get an hour or two of darkness!  

Flat decorated mid July, and I am hoping this will signify a brighter future!  A new man, Andrew, wants to meet me after flat decorated.  We met online.  Seems really keen.  We'll see.....Have been wary as my childhood sweetheart, Billy, died suddenly in 2013. (We got back together when I returned to Scotland).  My husband, Mark, left me when I became disabled.  If your lady, Rosemary, stood by you throughout = kudos and respect to her!  Loving my independence now, as had no choice!  Stay well and take care.  Peace Carole

 

49

Just wanted to say hello, and thanks for accepting my friendship request.  Looking forward to Wimbledon soon, and have PiP assessment next Tuesday.  Decorating flat mid July, so that will cheer me up!

Hope you are well too.  Peace Carole

50

The garden parties were about eight million years ago. They were very very posh, with Searcy Tansley caterers. Everyone at the office was made welcome and in those days the east end girls were not refined. So it was great for us all to mix in.

Pre stroke I did enjoy booze, so would often have more than two. And for many years I have given up all acohol for one month. Now it is for the six weeks of lent, as this is easier to monitor. That ensures I never ever get reliant on booze. Saw far too much of that at the pubs and wine shops that we ran.

Now, two glasses is fine. I dont react well to three. Maybe its the medication.

Please think about the suicidal tendancy at the week end. There are always decent people on here to chat to. You were chosen to survive a stroke when many do not survive. So you are special. I repeat that you, Carole, are special. And there must be a purpose to your life, and it might be fun to discover what that purpose is. I have been looking in vain for my purpose but perhaps its the tea making etc at the various local groups. Perhaps I do promote these events and I try very hard to envelope the poor and the elderly and the needy. It comes naturally so no probs there.

Rosemary has stuck by me. This is odd because i know I am very different from the pre stroke person. So many couples split following a stroke. But it still makes me sad when I read about those that do split. I did marry the old fashioned way, when marriage was for life. No matter what.

Bless you Carole

Colin

51

Wow Colin!  Those parties sounded truly astounding, with the caterers and all!!  Must have been fantastic for you all to meet up.  Indeed, due to medication, I am perfectly happy with one, two, or no alcohol these days!

Much respect to you helping the needy, elderly etc.  How brilliant.  I have done a lot of voluntary work and/or courses over the time since I've been disabled.  Both whilst in my wheelchair and with the walker.  Right now, I am a shareholder with my landlords, plus am a lifelong poet and have been published when I was 17.  My poems are currently used as the basis of songs, and I have worked with worldwide musicians.  Now have a songwriting partner, and we have made or been involved in 6 CDs!  Fabulous seeing your name as 'songwriter' on sleevenotes haha!  I will write one of my poems below, written with my now dead childhood sweetheart in mind - 

'Birds of a Feather'

The sun shines overhead

The sky is a deep shade of blue

I look above at the clouds

Smile, and think of you.

Those clouds are perfect little

Wisps of white cotton wool

You loved me as much as I loved you

There is a gorgeous rainbow

And birds are singing as they

Twitter with total abandon, look!

Floating down is a lovely feather

This is such wonderful weather.

2019

I also married in the old fashioned way.  I meant it was for life, and being faithful.  Always said I would only marry once.  Obviously, Mark didn't.  The first 5 years were really good, but the final two years were slowly going downhill.  I took the stroke, and that was the final nail in the coffin. Really needed him then, and he left me stuck in hospital.  Thank God for my amazing friends, whom I still have - after 30 years!  We are like sisters now, never fell out either!  Was in hospital for a year, and those ladies took it in shifts to visit me for that entire time!  That's what you call true friendship, and we love each other now.  I don't have many friends up here (through choice).  Am a very friendly person, just don't trust like I used to, you know?

Bless you two too, thanks Colin.  Peace Carole 

52

Dear Carole

I have just wiped out my reply. I dont get on with this site. The previous forum was geared to recently bitten SS but this new version isnt as easy.

So you have written words for recorded songs. What a superb achievement. And a poem written on the wing. Lovely. I am useless at poetry but good luck to you guys who excel.

A whole year in the hospital. Wow and ouch. They were true friends that stuck with you throughout. You must be a very good individual for them to care so much.

I was out in 5 days. Makes me feel a bit guilty.

I have had a decent day. SF not so bad and I weeded a bit, watched some tennis, had my hair cut then watered the flowers. Since starting yoga my legs are working better, Might be coincidence, but its nice that they are obeying me better. And the pains in the morning are decidedly less severe. I am also pleased with myself as I have had a few nights without painkillers. I only take one paracetomol but I dont want it to be habitual.

A good evening to sit outside with a glass of lemonade. Before the gnats get started ! Bet the light low on the Scottish horizon is good. I often think of time spent on the best beach in the world at Bonar Bridge. Sensational, and not many know of it. I was driving when we went there as a family. I had cycled previously but didnt make it as far north as Inverness. Nice memories of Fort William, Fintry, Tomintoul and Glencoe. Who needs to go abroad when we have Wales Ireland and Scotland to add to the English locations.

Time for supper

Best wishes

Colin

 

 

53

Hiya Colin!

No worries, we can just talk to each other?  I also don't really look around much here.  Thanks re my poetry, and us guys!  Really makes all of us feel good, as we all have lives outside music.  For example, Eric, my songwriting partner - musician is an ARCHITECT by day haha!!

Yeah, a year in hospital really fried my brain!  Physio, OT and speech therapy twice a day each for all that time = it was a killer!  Like a school timetable. However, they certainly did an amazing job, as I overcame coma, major heart op and total paralysis in that year! (Divorce too.......) Respect to them all!  Wow!  5 days?  Respect to you as well!

What a nice day you had!  Watched lots of tennis too.  Murray won = wow!  Nadal and Kyrgios was a terrific match.  Brilliant doing without painkillers.  Yoga seems to be doing you good, and more power to you!

Totally agree with you about staying in the UK.  Am happy visiting my friends in York.  Love Fort William as well.  Dornoch is beautiful, in the Highlands.  Must dry my hair, as am off shopping soon with my neighbour.  Soon as I'm back, the tennis is back on haha!  As long as I can hear it, I can potter about!  Only sit if it is a match I really want to see!

Be well.  Peace Carolecheekysmiley

54

PS  Sorry Colin forgot to say, also learned to talk again during that year, after complete silence!  Oh, and gym will start after flat has been decorated.  Unfortunately, it is on a Tuesday.  This Tuesday, have PiP assessment.  Tuesday after is when the flat starts to be decorated!  Have a good day.  Back to the tennis for me haha!  :)

55

Hi I'm mark I'm 32 and had a stroke 12 weeks ago I've got dyspraxia and aphasia also right side paralysis I'm now home from hospital trying to adjust to things. I had a brain clot which caused the stroke so had to be operated on for it to be removed. Couldn't walk at all for tge first few weeks then started of with a quad stick then today my physiotherapist gave me a normal stick to try so far going well and hope to improve not much movement in arm/ hand but I'm feeling hopeful.

56

Welcome Mark. My thoughts go out to you as you are so young. Unfortunately, Stroke is no respecter of age or gender. Hopefully, youth is on your side and now you are walking, movement should come back to your weak arm and hand. You will probably feel very emotional right now and desperate for improvement. Improvement does come, but often slower than we hope.

Remember that Stroke is a brain injury. Your brain will need rest, as will your body. Many if us have post stroke fatigue, but that eases with time. Fear of another stroke is common, but those thoughts ease too. Try to utilise your weak side as much as possible. I hope you have support for the dyspraxia and aphasia.

Ask anything you want on here. We are all survivors and willing to help in any way we can. You might just want to rant or let off steam. That’s good too. I wish you all the best.

57

Hi John thanks so much for your kind words yes feeling very emotional at the moment just burst into tears anytime of the day. Yes having support of speech therapist and is very good with me and yes wish things would go quicker than what they are at the moment but I no it's a slow progress and hopeful it will come in time.

58

Dear Mark

Sorry to hear that a stroke bit you 12 weeks ago. Things do improve on your long journey of recovery. As John suggests please do keep all your digits and limbs moving. 

I found the tears embarassing but nothing would stop them, except the passing of time. I am now contemplating a funeral attendance, which shows how much I have eased over the three years I have been on this journey. My speech is not bad at all. Not the same as before stroke but not bad at all. 

I hope you get contact from a local stroke group. Only another stroke survivor can understand what you go through and my local stroke group is a haven of peace and acceptance.

Do come on here and ask or just chat. Lots of us are here for you. You are not alone.

Best wishes

Colin

59

Hi mark its seems like your doing a great job in your recovery my partner had his stroke nearly 4mths ago aged 48 and like you hes working so hard on getting his right arm to improve and hes doing great think worse part for him is the apraxia/ memory recall x  but keep fighting to improve ♡

60

Hi Mark good to read your positivity I’m 49 and had mine three weeks ago lost some sight and I have aphasia but also found it hard to write the words takes so much time

but I’m getting there ?