I had my first year anniversary of my stroke yesterday. Does anyone else have feelings of depression when the anniversary is coming up? I had been dreading it. Not because I thought I would suffer another stroke on that day, but I felt I was grieving for the person I was before the stroke and the person I have become. Friends and family didn’t seem to get it and told me to think positively. I am trying to but found it frustrating that they didn’t seem to understand. Perhaps it is me? Would be really interested to hear anyone else’s thoughts on this subject.
Hi Nicky, I completely understand where you are coming from on this. I felt exactly the same early in my recovery. I’m 5 years post stroke following a hemorrhagic stroke which left me paralysed on my left side. I must say that anniversary dates come and go without me even noticing these days.
I do remember on my first anniversary someone actually sent me flowers, which was very nice but a bit strange. As you said people don’t get how it feels and how much you are grieving. Though if I’m honest I didn’t really know what a stroke was before I had mine, so I understand that nobody knows how you’re feeling.
Hopefully next year will be a bit easier for you.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New year
@Nicky3 I recently had my 2nd anniversary, a good friend of mine, his advice for positive thinking was you do have to mourn the old you, whilst celebrating the new you. I too dreaded my anniversary on the first one, but by the second I was grateful for what I had achieved thus far. I won’t lie it hasn’t been a bed of roses, some days all I want to do is stay in bed all day. My family look at me and think I’m fine. I have to explain often that brain fog( explaining that is a story in it’s self) makes things difficult. So your not on our own with this
Thank you Sue and Chris for your replies. Much appreciate your comments and it helps to know that I am not alone. What you said about mourning the old you and celebrating the new you Chris does make a lot of sense. Perhaps the first anniversary is the worst and things hopefully get easier as time goes on. Certainly trying to explain brain fog is not easy and not everyone wants to listen. Happy Christmas and New Year to you all.
Hi @Nicky3 I know what you mean, it was my first anniversary in August like you I was dreading it, it’s such a strange day on the run up to it my emotions were all over the place and I kept thinking about the old me and what I was doing last year, in the end I decided to keep myself as busy as possible then collapse into bed for a mega early night to just get the day by with as fast as possible. Here’s hoping our second anniversary is better
@Nicky3 i think it’s common to feel down on the 1st anniversary. I had mine a couple of weeks ago. Did lots of reflecting on my pre ious lide but also made sure I looked at how far i’d come. It’s certainly not what i thought I’d be doing this year.
As time moves on i’m hoping the anniversaries come & go with little thought.
All the best as you move into year 2.
@Nicky3 I think it’s natural to have conflicting feelings, remembering that day is an odd feeling for most of us, as our lives changed, it was traumatic and frightening experience to go through.
My take on it is, there are ups and downs in everyone’s lives, events happen and we have to keep moving forward, try not to dwell on it as one can get stuck and the low mood can spiral.
Yes, I feel different to what I was pre stroke but I can’t change that it happened, I try to remain optimistic. That said, non of us know exactly how another is feeling, what’s going on in their head etc. So It’s understandable that your friends/family can’t relate to your exact feelings/emotions.
Remember that inner monologue we all have is the same as someone telling us something repeatedly, the more negative thoughts you have, you’ll begin to believe them. So talk positively to yourself in your thoughts.
I’ve only had one anniversary myself, so I can’t say what subsequent ones will be like, but I’m hopeful they’ll pass without too much reflecting on my part
Hi Nicky. It isn’t you. After seven years I still don’t think friends and family understand. Even today a family member asked me when I’ll get better. I’m afraid the day of a stroke is unforgettable and never goes away. I find it not worth dwelling on ,though. It changes nothing. I do miss aspects of the life I had, but it probably won’t come back. I have lovely memories, but I try to enjoy life in the present moment too. I can still go on short breaks. I can still maintain my independence, with some assistance and I am not bed-bound or full of negativity. The way is always forward and never back.
Hello this is my 1st import to forum as I couldnt get in ! I understand how you are feeling as it is my 1st anniversary coming up! So many ups and downs and trying to be positive is so difficult!! I hope you are more mobile than me and dont feel as despondent, chin up and keep ar it
Hello Molly. Sorry to hear you had a stroke not so long ago. Yes indeed there are so many ups and downs and it is quite hard to be positive sometimes, especially at this time of year. I am lucky really as I am mobile. Am trying to be positive now the time has come and gone and I thank everyone who replied to my post. Do appreciate all your support and it is good to know that I am not alone and you are all out there supporting everyone. Don’t know what I would have done without this forum so thank you and happy New Year to you all.
That feeling is totally natural I too have been there, you need time to grieve for your life before stroke. The key is to be positive, easier said than done and very determined
These are key attributes to getting a life back no surrender no retreat. Goo film plu survivor eye of the tiger, good messages keep me going
Thanks everyone the thalami’s pain is my biggest inhibitor currently but not light at the end of that tunnel
If I can neutra the pain I will be fully mobile in 2023 so let’s hope that my brain knows what it must do