It's been some time since I've posted on here .
My poor mum had a stroke October 1st, from day one I was told by the stroke team my mum would be a invalid, mum's left side is completely dead she's Incontinent no sitting balance and severe cognitive impairment and functional impairment, mum has severe memory loss both for short term and long term , but mum can be very lucid which makes it all so complicated.
All in all its awful I honestly feel I'm in a black hole .
After 5 months in 3 different hospitals mum is in a care nursing home which is general and EMI.
Mum has been there since March and is on memory lane unit and all she wants to do is come home , I feel so awful I know this will never happen although I have looked into all the options.
My mother is in total denial of her left side she is convi
nced she's walking driving taking care of personal care and is convinced all our dead family members are alive , which kills me when she's asking if I've seen my brother and stepfather.
Mum is also fixating on certain staff and it's not nice what she saying I realise some of these elaborate stories aren't real but to mum they are .
My relationship with my has always been close and I'm missing my mum so much mum is 77 and I'm so angry this has happened and she's in a nursing home.
My mum is now demanding me to collect her and drive her home which I've obviously managed this with excuses why I can't do it , on two occasions my mother has told me that I put her in there and this really hurt me because this is the last place I want her , sadly I lost it and told her I hadn't it was her stroke and social services, as mum has Dols in place , I was so honest with mum telling her she couldn't walk her left side was dead , my mother told me she wouldn't bother me again and hung up .
I felt awful I did this but the guilt the lies I have felt my health is suffering with the pressure's, hospitals, social workers health board MDT meeting care home mangers solicitors Court of Protection, I feel like I can't breathe.
Looking at my mother lying in a bed in nappies is heartbreaking having to go along with all mum's stories it's killing me , I'm so frightened when I phone her wondering which mum I'm getting and my visits .
After our phone row my mum phoned back 10 min later to apologise, and she said the home are trying to brain wash me that she can walk cook and clean ghst they are keeping her there against her human rights and she needed to get out , my harsh words of the truth made no difference.
I have asked for the mental health doctor to visit, my poor mum is tortured in her brain and trapped in her body.
I'm at my witts end and I don't honestly know what to do.