Coping with loss of the previous life

@Jacqui_Bartonj I echo what @Mahoney says. Losing your sister so soon after your stroke must have been really difficult for you. xxx

So sad to hear this from you I lost my mum and moved house just before my stroke high blood pressure the root cause of my strok Time is a great healertrust me on that

@Jacqui_Bartonj Hi Jacqui I’m sorry about your stroke and coping with the loss of your sister, I can imagine it felt the same as me losing my mum. I hang on to my sister as she is my best friend. So it must be hard for you.

Think of all the happy memories you made with her. I hope your grief subsides soon and you can feel a bit better. Wishing you all my best and sending hugs :hugs: Loraine

Yes it’s hard to accept the new you but we have to live with the stroke and make the best use of what we have, easy to say hard to do with kind regards des

1 Like

13 years ago I was where you are now mourning for the life, which I had previously ,had gone for ever.
Some of it has-I am no longer allowed to drive so accessing things is not as easy ,I was not able to continue working.
I had a difficult 2 years feeling isolated and depressed but gradually since then I have made some progress and found ways to do things that I thought had gone forever.
As an OAP in London I get a Freedom Pass to travel on the bus and tube network plus bus throughout England.This has kept me able to travel independent of driving.

I have developed new skills using internet and laptop.
I have even found ways to travel ,using coaches and buses , to distant holiday destinations that I used to visit by car.This has enabled me to continue pursuits that I enjoy like hiking,camping and fishing.
Your life will improve over time but it may be different to the life that you had before.You will likely have disabilities that you need to work around.
Good luck with your journey and remember that you are not alone,you will have people on this forum with you every step of the way.


Thanks for the words of encouragement am getting better every day just mourn the east of time redoing a life time just to get back to where you were or near enoughbegore the stroke,would rather have built on what I had pre stroke to the betterment of those I love and care for

Hi, I relate to most of what you express. It’s five years next month since I had the stroke on my dominant side totally paralysing my arm below the shoulder, and impairing my right leg and balance. It’s near totally demolished my previous activities. However, I have re-learnt to drive with adaptations to the car. I have recently ordered an all-terrain electric wheelchair mainly to assist me continuing with one hobby, photography. In the last year I have discovered the Disabled Photography Society. In general, my mood rather flat. Fortunately, generally when confronted with a small problem (such as the clothes rail being knocked over when I attempt to back out of the bathroom in my wheelchair) I’m able to stop, think and find a solution, without bothering my wife or panicking. I’ve never been able to really accept the effects of the stroke, and have regular ‘black dog’ days, and wonder why I continue. I was 73 at the time of the stroke, and try to remember that I generally had 73 good years.


@Malcolm_Baxter hi welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing. Sorry your stroke happened to you but you have made a vast change and adaption to your life well done you are a total inspiration to us all. kind regards, loraine

Hi @Malcolm_Baxter welcome, though sorry about the stroke.

Pleased to hear you’re able to still get around and are able to continue one of your hobbies. Finding a group of like minded people must be good.

I think dark days are usual, we all have the odd ‘moment’, best wishes.

My loss of peripheral vision in the left portion of my eye balls on both eyes along with being registered partially sighted has put paid to my car driving in the short term who knows it may improve but does not look promising safl

Hi @Malcolm_Baxter welcome to the forum. Sounds like you’ve found some good work around for difficult situations. So good to hear you’re able to continue driving & with your photography. Gives us all a bit of hope.
Best wishes

1 Like

I needed dom positive news on the driving front with my peripheral vision loss I am out of action until it improves, quite a hammer blow to independence and a personal joy.

Hi frederickson, yes the loss of vision is a bitter pill to swallow , a while after being stroked understood from a Stoke Association seminar that things were not likely to improve because of the type of stroke I had. Asked Doctor for his opinion. Well he says the good news is your vision won’t get any worse, the bad news is it’s unlikely to get better. So dug deep and bit bullet. Very grateful for what vision I have and live in hope but don’t dwell on it. So back to the three ‘A’s. Accept, still working on it, adapt and adjust which all of us here battle with and we win some and lose a few but grateful to be still here. Keep posting we all want to know your continuing story

1 Like

Welcome to the group yes it is hard accepting the new you but if we do we can move in with kind regards des

Having a bad day the enormoof my recovery and the years it will take is hitting home and how much my family is having to cope with, all got too much and I had a big cry ,more a dob, over now but not too cheery

@mrfrederickson awww we are all allowed to cry and we all have off days. So don’t worry it will pass and you will find it gets a little easier as each day goes by. Sending hugs and reassurance :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: best regards, Loraine

Thanks Lorraine, much appreciated, time is my only escape

1 Like

I feel for you @mrfrederickson and wish I could give you a big hug.

I was looking at some of your older posts and note the activities that brought you some joy, an evening with friends and a trip out with your wife so why not plan something to look forward to, and for right now, just treat yourself well, we all need a few tears sometimes.

There’s some lovely people on this forum who are here for you.

My dear wife reminds me we are off to the ciny tomorrow afternoon to see Jurassic world, wish me luck😂

Excellent (and good luck) :crossed_fingers: