Life before stroke and feelings of loss
I am sure I am not alone in this issue when you can no longer do the things you loved doing as a result of the stroke.
I struggle to find joy in the blind faith rehab that yields so little improvement as to be not worth it but it could be only the possibility of getting to do the same things I loved doing before that keeps me sane but I have bad days like today when I feel allis lost. Sorry for the negativity everyone just struggling today missing my old life, wil go for a ride out with my dear wife and re focus on what I still have
@mrfrederickson it is really hard to accept that we can’t do all the things we used to love. Our hope is that we can recover enough to get back to them but if not then we have to try and find other things,that might give us equally as much pleasure. It’s a but like grieving. Our bad days bring it home even more.
I used to be a runner, read loads of books & make jigsaws. I can’t run & reading 7s limited right now but I have found some solace in colouring by numbers (thanks to a suggestion by @loshy).
I hope you enjoy the trip out with your wife. Stay strong
Your not alone Fredrickson but we have to come to terms with it the best we can, no easy answer here. Adjust and adapt we are told, after 18 months Know I’ll never get back to do certain thing but live in hope that little improvements might make others possible. It’s now about finding new hobbies and pastimes and distractions. Fellow member of my stroke group gets great satisfaction from sanding down and staining and beeswax polishing old bits of furniture, not my cup of tea, sure there’s an answer out there good luck in your quest and let us know how you get on. Pds
Back from my car ride, realise the truth of your words
I am not expecting my arm to spring back anytime soon not my walking to improve sufficiently to be close to the old me but if the hope of getting something like the old days back.was false then the future looks bleaker than when I first had the stroke on January 2021
That’s the frustration of having a stroke you won’t be the old me we have to accept our limitations and adapt to being a stroke survivor but count our blessing that we are still here and will have good and bad days come to our site to have a good old rant we all understand we all feel like this at some point
Thanks for the ability to rant I am an impatient person at best and struggling with not getting better than I am, if I had more independence back I would embrace my circumstances better, I suppose time will prove that spoon enough
Thanks Lorraine I am lucky to have survived the stroke even if it doesn’t feel like it now, maybe in a few more years when life becomes a bit better I will see the results of my rehab work my faith is being tested if I ever had any know ho Jesus felt left on a cross to die.
Hi, you are not alone. I’m 5 years post stroke, struggling with left side paralysis and I still have days when I wish I hadn’t survived. I often feel that I’m here but unable to participate in the world. My biggest hurdle to deal with is the fact that since my stroke we have been blessed with 4 beautiful grand children and I haven’t been able to pick them up and give them a cuddle.
Sorry for the negative thoughts but sometimes it’s good to share with people who understand. Thanks for listening.
Hi Jane I share your pain I too fear what my grandchildren will make of an paired sad old man but my kids tell me they will love me because of who I am and accept my mobility as normal still hurts so far my kids have not decided to bless us with grandchildren, if they do I will master the one arm hug, but when they both work my wife has first place in the hugs list, god I hope it’s not too long
Hi, yes regularly having lots of one armed hugs. I will definitely make my amazing husband number 1 on my list for 2 armed cuddles if and when my arm improves.
Thanks for putting things into prospective and your words of wisdom.
mrfredrickson
I’m sorry for your low mood but I notice you were a reader. May I suggest the many ace audio books and podcasts? Besides serious ones there are funny ones which could pick you up. All the best. Magga
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I identify with double grief: one month after my stroke I lost my beloved sister to cancer. Very hard to cope and I have no answer. There is no right or wrong grief, you just have to follow your instincts.
So sad to hear this from you I lost my mum and moved house just before my stroke high blood pressure the root cause of my strok Time is a great healertrust me on that
Yes it’s hard to accept the new you but we have to live with the stroke and make the best use of what we have, easy to say hard to do with kind regards des
13 years ago I was where you are now mourning for the life, which I had previously ,had gone for ever.
Some of it has-I am no longer allowed to drive so accessing things is not as easy ,I was not able to continue working.
I had a difficult 2 years feeling isolated and depressed but gradually since then I have made some progress and found ways to do things that I thought had gone forever.
As an OAP in London I get a Freedom Pass to travel on the bus and tube network plus bus throughout England.This has kept me able to travel independent of driving.
I have developed new skills using internet and laptop.
I have even found ways to travel ,using coaches and buses , to distant holiday destinations that I used to visit by car.This has enabled me to continue pursuits that I enjoy like hiking,camping and fishing.
Your life will improve over time but it may be different to the life that you had before.You will likely have disabilities that you need to work around.
Good luck with your journey and remember that you are not alone,you will have people on this forum with you every step of the way.
Tony
Thanks for the words of encouragement am getting better every day just mourn the east of time redoing a life time just to get back to where you were or near enoughbegore the stroke,would rather have built on what I had pre stroke to the betterment of those I love and care for
I am lucky to have survived the stroke even if it doesn’t feel like it now, maybe in a few more years when life becomes a bit better I will see the results of my rehab work my faith is being tested if I ever had any know ho Jesus felt left on a cross to die.