Coping with loss of the previous life

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#1

Life before stroke and feelings of loss
I am sure I am not alone in this issue when you can no longer do the things you loved doing as a result of the stroke.

I struggle to find joy in the blind faith rehab that yields so little improvement as to be not worth it but it could be only the possibility of getting to do the same things I loved doing before that keeps me sane but I have bad days like today when I feel allis lost. Sorry for the negativity everyone just struggling today missing my old life, wil go for a ride out with my dear wife and re focus on what I still have

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#2

@mrfrederickson it is really hard to accept that we can’t do all the things we used to love. Our hope is that we can recover enough to get back to them but if not then we have to try and find other things,that might give us equally as much pleasure. It’s a but like grieving. Our bad days bring it home even more.
I used to be a runner, read loads of books & make jigsaws. I can’t run & reading 7s limited right now but I have found some solace in colouring by numbers (thanks to a suggestion by @loshy).
I hope you enjoy the trip out with your wife. Stay strong :muscle:

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#3

Your not alone Fredrickson but we have to come to terms with it the best we can, no easy answer here. Adjust and adapt we are told, after 18 months Know I’ll never get back to do certain thing but live in hope that little improvements might make others possible. It’s now about finding new hobbies and pastimes and distractions. Fellow member of my stroke group gets great satisfaction from sanding down and staining and beeswax polishing old bits of furniture, not my cup of tea, sure there’s an answer out there good luck in your quest and let us know how you get on. Pds

#4

Back from my car ride, realise the truth of your words
I am not expecting my arm to spring back anytime soon not my walking to improve sufficiently to be close to the old me but if the hope of getting something like the old days back.was false then the future looks bleaker than when I first had the stroke on January 2021

#5

That’s the frustration of having a stroke you won’t be the old me we have to accept our limitations and adapt to being a stroke survivor but count our blessing that we are still here and will have good and bad days come to our site to have a good old rant we all understand we all feel like this at some point

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#6

Thanks for the ability to rant I am an impatient person at best and struggling with not getting better than I am, if I had more independence back I would embrace my circumstances better, I suppose time will prove that spoon enough

#7

Just give it time! We are the lucky ones we are still here. Best wishes Loraine :blush:

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#8

Thanks Lorraine :heart: I am lucky to have survived the stroke even if it doesn’t feel like it now, maybe in a few more years when life becomes a bit better I will see the results of my rehab work my faith is being tested if I ever had any know ho Jesus felt left on a cross to die.

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#9

Hi, you are not alone. I’m 5 years post stroke, struggling with left side paralysis and I still have days when I wish I hadn’t survived. I often feel that I’m here but unable to participate in the world. My biggest hurdle to deal with is the fact that since my stroke we have been blessed with 4 beautiful grand children and I haven’t been able to pick them up and give them a cuddle.

Sorry for the negative thoughts but sometimes it’s good to share with people who understand. Thanks for listening.

Regards Sue.

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#10

Hi @mrfrederickson we all have down days and yes it can be frustrating wanting to be the same as we were pre stroke.

Focus on the positives, stay strong. Acceptance is not giving up, it’s adjusting your mind set.

Best wishes

#11

@Susan_Jane i feel for you there not being able to pick up and cuddle your grandchildren, hopefully you still do get your ‘cuddle fix’ if someone places them in your arms while you’re sitting down.

Best wishes

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#12

Hi Jane I share your pain I too fear what my grandchildren will make of an paired sad old man but my kids tell me they will love me because of who I am and accept my mobility as normal still hurts so far my kids have not decided to bless us with grandchildren, if they do I will master the one arm hug, but when they both work my wife has first place in the hugs list, god I hope it’s not too long

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#13

Hi, yes regularly having lots of one armed hugs. I will definitely make my amazing husband number 1 on my list for 2 armed cuddles if and when my arm improves.

Thanks for putting things into prospective and your words of wisdom.

Best wishes to all

Regards Sue

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#14

mrfredrickson
I’m sorry for your low mood but I notice you were a reader. May I suggest the many ace audio books and podcasts? Besides serious ones there are funny ones which could pick you up. All the best. Magga
.

#15

Cheers Magga
I have a few from Amazon.
Wil enjoy the showering when bthr walking recovers and my left arm walked up :rofl:

#16

Having a better day today, went out for a meal with friends yesterday and am doing my passive exercise on my leg and arm.thanks for caring

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#17

Good to hear @mrfrederickson ups and downs in mood can be the norm, having contact with friends and family is helpful and can lift the spirits.

Keep up the good work with your exercises :+1:

Best wishes

#18

Certainly talking with fellow stroke survivors has helped me as does physical exercise, thanks

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#19

I identify with double grief: one month after my stroke I lost my beloved sister to cancer. Very hard to cope and I have no answer. There is no right or wrong grief, you just have to follow your instincts.

#20

Hi @Jacqui_Bartonj deepest condolences for the loss of your sister, that has to be a lot to cope with so soon after a stroke.

Big hugs :hugs::hugs: