Hi, I tried to do this before, but couldn't work it out . I am Ian, Boots is an old childhood nick name, that's a whole story of its own.
09/01/2011, what a surprise that day was. I was coming up to the end of my leave after New Year, cut my hair, clean shaven, etc.
I had a niggle in my right shoulder, just couldn't shift it, nothing to stop me, was getting dressed, (how many times do things like this happen half way through something?).
I suddenly I fell across the bed, it felt like someone had just pulled my feet away and pushed me at the same time. I lay there for a bit, thinking, well, that was a bit odd. Then I felt sick, I thought the wife won't like this, so I got up and headed to the bathroom, directly opposite the bedroom. Got to admit it, this seemed to be a little more awkward than usual.
I burst into the bathroom, nose dived towards the loo, a bit of a shock to the wife, who was in the shower. I thought I said quiet clearly, don't worry, I just feel a bit ill.
For some stupid reason, my wife was on the phone, I heard her say, he just fell through the door, and now he's just making strange noises. She laid me in the recovery position, I was quick like that, being a nurse.
Next the ambulance crew turned up, I was still a bit bemused, what the heck were they here for?
One said to me that he thought I had possibly experienced a stroke and they were going to take me to a hospital I had never heard of, and that they were going to go a lot faster than I would drive.
It was in the ambulance that I realised I was a little unwell. Boy, that driver was a lunatic, flipping heck, he was overtaking cars on the motorway.
We were met by the consultant of the stroke unit, very impressive, from ambulance to CT, to ward, thrombilised, all within twenty minutes.
The ward staff seemed to handle me with kid gloves, yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir, a bit odd.
The next morning a director of the hospital visited, she explained that her husband was my director from my Trust. She explained that he was going to visit later. That explained the V.I.P. treatment.
Eventually I did explain that although I was a Lead Nurse, I was no one to worry about. It was nice when everyone treated me as a bog standard patient.
After five days I was discharged, yep I still felt like I'd run a marathon, and I kept having to nap on and off. I thought I'd be back up and running in a couple of weeks, then it was a couple of months, eventually it came clear I wasn't going to be able to return to work.
I didn't sleep properly for nine months, I became like a caged animal, unable to sleep, unable to stop. I became extremely frustrated, angry, nothing could calm me. My wife tried to understand, but I couldn't explain, it was like having hundreds of thoughts, all at the same time. Where I couldn't sleep I started manicly baking cakes, pies, bread, anything I could do quietly, without disturbing my wife (the record was 13 Christmas cakes, blooming cakes everwhever).
Eventually I was diagnosed with a raft of neurological disorders, but at least I was recieving treatment, and I could finally slow down.
I got some brilliant support from "Headways", all in it together, no joke off limits, no offense ever taken.
I was medically retired aged 46, we lost our house, and eventually managed to buy another wreck of a house, the other end of the country.
By now the stresses of life living with a stroke survivor, became too much for my wife. Off she went, can't blame her, I would have left me if I could have.
I'm in a fairly good place in myself now. Shame there isn't the same "Headways" support here, but I can't knock life, I still have one, maybe, not what I would have chosen, but, yes I still have a life!
P.S. can't blooming cook properly these days, so please, no Christmas cake requests!