Yes, hard, lonely and every day is different. I no longer make plans as some days I don’t wake up until after 11 and then might need to sleep again in the afternoon. I’m 6 months surviving now and realising how much I have changed but adapting as best I can. I’m so pleased now to have found this site and support.
some days are just bleak and horrible
I appreciated your simple and to the point post
I'm coming up to three years post stroke. and even now find it odd to write or say the word. I am still struggling with recovery, but at the same time trying to come to terms with a new identity as a disabled person. having been very active and capable this is very hard. and lonely. my role in my family has radically changed. I am the one being looked after. there is not much I can do. I don't like it. it is hard to keep positive. especially after all this time. but I do draw some comfort from others on this site that things can improve. I am lucky to have a very supportive family I have heard horror stories about people who have had no support. I don't know how they cope. I was able to return to work but it all went down the toilet and ended rather unpleasantly. I wish I had never gone back but I had to but I am relieved it is all over now.
Im sure you will have better days. and thanks again for your simple straightforward message. we can get overloaded with advice. for me sometimes all I want is to hear what others are grappling with. it is enough.
best wishes
Tony
Hi well some days it's ok but other days it's like you haven't slept in days but just try to keep positive, and don't measure your recovery with someone else's ruler a lesson I have learned the hard way.all the best
Yes I had a stroke at 51. I was extremely lucky in that I had slight dysphagia, but mostly fatigue, cognitive and emotional problems. My stroke looked invisible to everyone. Work were not very good. The job centre plus offered to pay for disability training for my department. It was not taken up. They got rid of me and I was glad to go.
It does seem that employment is very difficult for stroke survivors. I am retired, thank goodness, but I do a voluntary admin job just 3 hours a month. And that slays me. What I also do is to wait on tables and make tea and coffee. I can manage that and I at least feel useful. But my old self finds it hard to make the transition !
Best wishes Banshee
Colin
thank you
Hi Mo
no tips but your post resonates so much with me, as im getting this a lot recently, some people are well meaning but others are becoming annoying; I don't talk much about my stroke but when I mention it to several people and some of the consequences it "oh my memory is bad its just old age", "yeah we all get tired" etc etc..
My short term memory issues are quite debilitating (and costly!) to me (long term memory is OK). Sending me memes of forgetful minions isn't helping. I'm increasingly creating false memories of thing i intended to do but clearly didnt, this makes me quite upset. Even concentrating a lot I have still booked flights for the day i was very conscious i could not do. unlike few years ago i can nowalk down street without it blatently being obvious im disabled, i can even run, but some days fatigue is such i just cant do that, i need to rest, yes I am very very grateful of this improvement but people now expect me to do things i not comfortable with. The best one was was somebody saying "your brain must have grown back by now!" as a consequence of me not wishing to walk / run off road. I cant explian to them how unpleasant and anxiety inducing it is to put your feet into long grass.
I had a stroke in Feb 2017 aged 57. I am walking with a stick but cannot use my left arm. I try to go out walking with my husband every day and often get asked "Have you had a knee operation"/ "Have you broken your leg?" "Can't believe you've had a stroke ". It's a great confidence booster if you are having a bad day or even if you're not?. It's nice to have a chat with people and it often makes my day
Dear Susan Jane,
It's so funny you writing that , I had my stroke in March 18. I returned to work on a phased return on 4th March this year. But after 3 weeks my managers wanted my return reassessed by Occupational health. So no going to work for me. I decided to use the time to continue to work on my recovery. I walk around the green near my house . Approximately 360 yards to each circuit. I started just doing one as well as my exercises. But within a few days I was walking 4 times around the green .
I hadn't spoken to some of my neighbour's for years if at all. But watching me walk with my frame gave them a reason to stop and chat. They to asked if I'd a hip or knee replacement. I explained that I'd had a stroke and they were also surprised. Thinking I was too young.
I now look forward to my exercises as you never know who will stop and chat and when the sun is shining it's great to be out and about.
I had my Occupational health reassessment it seemed to be positive the consultant saying he saw no reason for me not to work.
Hope that satisfies my managers and I'll be back doing the job I love soon.
Hope you're having a good day. Good luck with the walking
Kay
Good luck to you Kay, and let's hope your managers see sense!! Well done with the walking, it takes discipline and will power to keep going but hopefully it will pay dividends for you - love Nic xx
Thank you!
Hope you and your husband are having a good weekend.
Soon be Easter! Hooray!
Hi Kay glad to hear your occupational health assessment was ok, now you can carry on working but your manager will still have to be mindfull of your previous health issues and not put too much pressure on you.
It sounds like they would have preferred you to have retired on sickness grounds - it’s often the easier answer for them. You would think they’d be glad to have you back with your experience. I worked with a SN who injured her back at work and needed some help to continue. She fought long and hard to do her job but always had to ask for help despite their being certain things they knew she couldn’t do.
Hope you get back to work soon.
Ann
Thank you!
I also think they would prefer me to retire. My line manager had based herself in my office since before Xmas. 10 -15 minutes to work verses at least 45 minutes to her own office.
That have not said that I can't do the job but that I currently walk more slowly and get more tired. They seem to forget stroke recovery isn't like getting over a cold takes a bit longer etc. Plus I'd only been back a work for 3 weeks after over a year off. A bit harsh I think.
Keeping my fingers crossed for the future.
I’ll keep mine crossed as well?. It can’t make for a comfortable work place having your line manager looking over your shoulder, I would have hated that.
I hope you have someone to support you at work, but would also keep in touch with Remploy they won’t tolerate any unfair treatment.
Like I've said before you would think they would be glad to have someone like you with experience who wants to work.
Hope you have a better week
Ann
That can only mean one thing ... ? no, not that ... Easter Eggs!! Nom, nom!!
For me it means school holiday and chance to chill out. I've decided to retire at the end of the school year, so handed in my notice on Friday morning ?, more time to spend together and hopefully I'll be able to make up for lost time.
All good wishes to you - thinking of you xx
Hi Nic,
Its a massive thing you’ve done but I know you’ll not regret a minute of it. ? Here’s to a long and healthy retirement.
Thanks so much - I've been number crunching this afternoon, very scary!! I'll have to go cold turkey and break my chocolate habit, it's too expensive ?
xxx
You’ll probably find you’re not much worse off by the time you add up how much you spend a day on fuel, food, etc oh and ?. Enjoy it you’ve earned it I’m sure.
I've never regretted retiring at 60 from the NHS and taking my work pension, I am now looking forward to getting my state pension in July even though I’ll be 65 + 6 months by then.
Good for you Nic!
You deserve to spend quality time with your husband and friends. ??
As has been said you might not find much difference in the money when you don't have to travel to work etc.
Some of my friends chose to work for an agency picking and choosing when and where they work or not if they have better things to do.
I'm sure the kitty could run to 1 small egg. I'm looking forward to mine I have observed Lent again this year. No chocolate until Easter Sunday.
Have to go now an look online and find my Easter egg!!
Have a good evening ?♀️?♀️
Yes looks like it may happen to me as feel I'm being discriminated against by the works supervisor.