Becoming a deputy

Share your story Caring for someone
1

Hi all, 

I have posted on here before about my mum having had a stroke in August last year. Unfortunately mum hasn't made any progress and is highly unlikely to do so. As a result of this my brother and I are in the process of becoming deputies for her as mum hadn't appointed a power of attorney. 

I just wondered if anyone has had any experience of the process of becoming a deputy or acting as one. It appears to be quite a complex process. 

Thanks 

2

I would suggest you contact Citizens Advice. They will help you complete the form and explain the process to you.

3

I'm in your situation its bad enough dealing with your loved one who's had the stroke. 

I'm using our family solicitor , yes its more costly but I just don't need any more stress , it's quiet a long process.  

I started my application January and I'm still waiting. 

How's your mother ? 

4

Yes that's exactly how we felt and have gone through the solicitors. We have just started the process. We were told it can take 6 months to a year to complete it. I just wondered what other people's experiences have been regarding becoming a deputy. 

Mum is doing OK,  she is comfortable. That is all we can hope for now. 

Is it your mum that you are becoming deputy for? 

5

Hi Hayley,

My husband had guardianship for his late mother as she had Alzheimer's and dementia. He had to apply to the office of public guardian, we're in Scotland but assume that there will be a similar process in England,Wales and Ireland. As far as I remember it was very straight forward to sort out , we had to keep receipts for anything bought for her ie. Clothing, toiletries. Good luck x

6

Hi Hayley, glad your mum is comfortable.

Yes it is also my mother, who is 77 , mum had her stroke October 1st, and has been In 4 different hospitals, mum has been in a nursing home for one month, she thinks it's rehabilitation and she will be going back home, mum wouldn't be able to cope with the truth , they told me within 24 hours of the stroke she was brain damaged, she would never use her left leg or arm , mum has no sitting balance and is doubly Incontinent. All of this is true she has not improved. 

I'm struggling to deal with this , mum has forgotten she had the house on the market, my step father died 2 years ago July mum is convinced he is alive my brother who was killed in a car crash 30 yrs ago she thinks he is alive its all so sad .

What's the situation with your mum .

It's so stressful and such a  roller coaster:( 

7

Dear Deana

My sympathys for how your Mum has turned out.

I had a stroke at age 68, i was 90% paralysed and couldnt move, plus aphasia. The doctor told me that you can recover from this. I was out of bed and walking in a few days.

i notice that many on this site are now told they wont walk etc again, but they do. Maybe it is standard practice to tell the worst.

my memory has gone, for a year or so before stroke. That hasnt returned. 
i am not suggesting Mum will recover, but there is always hope.

This must be very grim for you. 
my sympathy goes to you

best wishes

colin

 

 

8

Thank you Colin. 

It is so grim,  mum hasn't made any movement what so ever  its been 6 months and her mind is  fluctuating constantly.

It's a horrible situation. 

The care home are wondering if there could be dementia starting. 

I'm so glad your up and about and making progress and I truly hope it continues:)