If he can pick out an odd word, then he can pick out two, then three and so on. That’s how it starts, that’s how it works to retrain your brain. And you have to keep on going, you have to keep on trying, day after day after day. Short attention is no excuse I found for me! I found a work-around doing tasks in short sets of 3’s for that e.g. stroke leg exercises 5mins, read 5mins, stroke arm tasks for 5mins then back to leg; computer 10mins, wash some cups 10mins, push hoover 10mins; cycle tasks 3 at a time and each day or week aim to add a few more mins. That’s how I always worked around that glitch.
Hello- as the husband of wife Sue (both oldies- very) who had a stroke some 6 years ago, I can completely understand your problems,Sue has no speech, often confused, we had NHS speech therapists then I employed private for 3 years but to no avail.Have tried most of the support Apps- some quite expensive, but of no use- No speech other than the occasional “Hello” and often confuser her Yes and No-we have picture books , pen paper etc.
I have found over the years that a “Personal” small portable, photo books helps best i.e. photos’ of friends, relatives, car,bus, walking, local shops (including our local pub) ,household items,etc etc-whatever may help, she uses this almost daily- life is hard, tiring, repetitive drives you to frequent/ daily despair., but the original person is still there, underneath ,locked in, suffering more than you- never forget that
Bye
7 Likes
That is the scariest part of it, people not knowing you are locked in there and of perfectly sound mind! That’s my worst nightmare, to go through that again and not be able to come out of it again. I’ve been there once and I don’t ever want to go back that.
1 Like
Sounds like yu came through it- good for you xx
1 Like
Have you tried putting on some old records that your wife knows all the words too, upbeat ones that will bring back happy memories, turn it up quite loud and leave the room or carry on doing something else. You just may find that she will start attempting to sing along, as well as lifting her mood. Worked for my brother. Worth a try
4 Likes
@Irene55 just wanted to say hi & welcome to the forum. I love the music idea. You’re right if it’s their favourite music the temptation to sing is a great one.
2 Likes
My starting position- was relearning the alphabets, how to string three words in the right order and not able to hold more than two numbers in my brain. Not sure if it will help, but I downloaded apps (free) “Luminosity” and “Elevate” (as suggested by my nephews and nieces who were using it for their GCSE practices) onto my ipad. Elevate. has each day it has 3 workouts under different titles : “Writing” Speaking" “Reading” “Maths” “Memory”. Luminosity has each day 3 tasks, “Memory” “Attention”, “Problem Solving” “Flexibility” “Speed” “Language” “Maths”. It has helped me. Still working on my spellings, but now most people do not detect my aphasia unless I am tired.
1 Like
Hi, thank you for your welcome message. I’m looking forward to gaining some “first hand” knowledge as to how strokes affect everyone, in the hope that I can find some guidance in helping my brother to live his best life. Also enjoying read about people’s success and maybe passing on something that just might be helpful x
Irene x
4 Likes
Welcome. Your presence is a true blessing for your brother. As a stroke survivor, it is important to acknowledge that there may be moments of fatigue and frustration on his journey. However, it is crucial to hold onto the belief that even the personal goals that may have seemed insurmountable at one point are within his reach. Hugs
1 Like
Hi, thank you for your welcome. You are spot on about progress slowing down sometimes, but then after a few weeks or so, something just seems to click with my brother and he’s elated again. Just like the other morning when his carers were getting him up and suddenly for the first time since his stroke, he could feel his foot touching the floor. It’s really lifted his mood! I’ve always believed in my heart that he would make enough progress to improve his life and, slowly but surely, he is.
Thanks again
Irene
2 Likes
Joy
if you come to Tom’s cafe in Gilmerton on the last Tuesday of the month you’ll meet the Tom who was in ’ when the words went away’ documentary it’s the same guy
Indeed you’ll see where his exhibition was held because it’s the same room!
Ciao Simon
1 Like
Hi Simon I’m afraid I’m not in a good place at the moment mentally.
I have to close down the law firm that I owned for almost 8 years. I managed to run it remotely and have rehabilitation simultaneously for the last 3 years. So closing the firm is very hard for me and I worked so hard over years to keep it going and built my reputation internationally. There is a lot of emotions that I’ve feeling at the moment - grief, anger, disappointment, and sadness
2 Likes
Hi @joy.alliy
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re trials continue.
I think many of us have had secondary and tertiary effects /impacts from the stroke that are not at first obvious and can really only be understood with hindsight.
This community is very understanding and compassionate and I think in aggregate, wise. If it would help you I would lean on the support thatis is here. You’re also very welcome at Tom’s cafe. It’s normally a quiet affair there were three of us last month including somebody who came for the first time and Tom was a second I was the third., four or five the month before (all regulars and ironically Tom wasn’t there, I think he was on holiday or he might have been at the premier for the documentary in London.
There’s a seat whenever you feel like coming and no pressure about not coming when you don’t feel like it. I just thought after your comment (which I only just seen today) about having to come to terms with asphasia you might like to connect the dots that it’s the same Tom in both contexts
We’ll see you when you feel up to it and won’t worry if you don’t
Ciao
1 Like
@joy.alliy i’m really sorry to hear you’re having to close down your law firm. It must be extremely difficult for you & I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel.
Sending lots of love & my very best wishes to you.
Ann xx
1 Like
One further thought: can you sell it as a going concern or is it entirely dependant on your presence for its personality or culture?
Just a thought. don’t answer if you don’t want to
2 Likes
It was dependent on my presence and all the clients moved on after my stroke. I had two associates working for me and I was always protective over the smart one but the oldest associates (in terms of tenure) felt intimidated by the smart one. So last year the smart one left the firm and I had to search for another associate. I reached out to a recruitment agency to help me but all the candidates were of a poor grade. I was lucky that a random lady sent me an email looking for work. She had been self employed for a while as her last employer had to close down thejr firm as a result of a stroke.
The oldest one worked but was relaxed when it came to billing clients and getting new ones. I think both of them didn’t realise how hard it is to go the work, bill clients, market the firm and attend events and workshops hoping to solicit new business.
After the stroke I focused more on the admin side as I struggled to read legislation. Paying bills and payroll was very difficult at first with my aphasia but I perserved and make sure everyone was paid each month - employees, suppliers, accountant and the tax man. I even discussed audited accounts at the end of each financial year with my accountant.
In December 2022 I started noticed that there was no money coming in but the outgoings were the same. That was then I reached out to the associates and told them that they need to look for new clients. Nothing happened so at the end of May this year I informed the staff of my decision to close the business.
The oldest associate didn’t waste any time and was the first to jump ship. The new associate has offered to remain and help me to complete any housekeeping issues and is noticing all the work that wasn’t billed during my absence.
2 Likes
I can see there is and ongoing history.
So my commiserations on having to close it out 
can you take the perspective that this is gathering experience of something you wouldn’t otherwise have had - that can be made valuable?
& that afterwards you will have time and energy reclaimed that you can then invest into Mark 2 or some other endeavour so that you’re focused on extracting the value from this chapter to put into the next?
Outlook or attitude is one of the hardest things to maintain and use, and It’s potentially one of the things with the greatest influence on our ongoing mental health
Best wishes
2 Likes