Thank you. It is good to know there is support available here.
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Thanks for your response, it is reassuring to know there is information and support here.
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Hi Yvie and welcome to our forum. So sorry to hear of your husband’s stroke. We are a merry band of stroke survivors and their carers and families. Hopefully we can help to make your tough journey ahead a bit easier at times.
I am posting as a stroke survivor and cannot imagine how frightening being the partner of the stroke survivor is, I know only too well how frightening being the victim is. It’s unbelievably hard on everyone. Try to be patient and kind with each other, which will be difficult at times.
You will find lots of information on here, as explained above. Feel free to jump on here with any questions you may have and there’s always someone willing to help or offer advice.
I’m 6 years post stroke following a hemorrhagic stroke which paralysed my left side and my husband and I were devastated in the early days. After lots of physiotherapy and different treatments, I am pleased to say that although I still need help, I’m walking with a stick and enjoy lots of the good things in life. We holiday abroad every year and have a good social life with friends and family.
My husband is my carer and has been amazing throughout this journey. Although things have been tough for both of us at times, I can honestly say this has brought us closer.
Whilst in hospital my neuro Psychologist said, “your lives will be different but you can still have a good life”. Jump on here with your questions and concerns and someone will be here to help. Look forward to hearing from you when you feel ready.
Best wishes for the New Year and remember to take care of yourself.
Regards Sue
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Hi Yvie
I know exactly what you are going through, as I’ve walked in your shoes three years ago with my husband.
Those first few days leave you in a place where you don’t know which way is up, down, left or right. I found keeping a video diary helped me. A place I could share my thoughts, rant, rave, cry and shout. It gave me a little bit of clarity, focus, perspective.
One of the things I learnt was in order to care for Simon, I had to take care of myself. Not easy, I know and I was also told not to feel guilty; that was a revelation, a huge weight taken from my shoulders.
Unlike you, I didnt know where to find help and felt completely at a loss. It was also during the first lockdown, so wasn’t able to see him much.
It is going to be a long journey but we’re here for you, just shout and someone will hear you 
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Hi @Yvie and welcome, pull up a sleigh and the ride through Santa’s grotto of horror with us, your husband’s stroke day is the same as mine 2yrs ago Christmas day for me.
It will get better! With time, patients and understanding, you will get through this together. And you will always have us to fall back on when you need information, a shoulder to cry on or somewhere to scream and rant and take out your frustrations. Trust me, we won’t take offence or be upset because we have all been through it.
This forum is a mine of information, no two stroke are ever alike but we do share some common traits. So take your time and read through others posts, use the search bar 
up in the corner to search for anything specific. In time, it would also help your husband to come on here too, but that could be anything from 6wks to a year from now before he can manage that himself, only time will tell.
Also you can phone the Stroke Association’s helpline. From there you can get help and advice in preparation for when your husband comes, the sort of questions you should be asking your husband’s doctor at the hospital such as his care package for when he does come home. You’ll find their number at the top of their webpage https://www.stroke.org.uk/. And there’s also their Weekly volunteer calls - Here For You service for some one to talk to and just listen.
There a lot of information here to be mined, but don’t overwhelm yourself with it, it will still be here whenever you come back to it, so digest in small portions 
And most importantly of all Take Good Care Of Yourself, don’t feel selfish about just do it. You are not Super Woman you are human like the rest of us. Your husband needs you fit and healthy so no need to feel guilty about it. Take time out, take frequent breaks, go for walks, go for a coffee with a friend, go for some retail therapy now and again. Just be sure to take time out for you! You’ll get through this, we always do 
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Hi @Yvie
As well as the welcome post 40 things to know: what would you underline add or delete might also help you to appreciate some of the challenges
Ciao
Simon
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Hi @Yvie
So sorry to hear of your situation.
I’m not very knowledgable in medical terms but I’m a stroke survivor and I know I wouldn’t be as well as I am without my wife behind me.
I know I’ve taken some huge steps forward and good few back but over time there is progress if there is support and determination.
Very best wishes to you and your husband.
Gavin
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Hi i am sorry to hear your husband had a stroke its always really heartbreaking to hear.
No stroke is ever the same and recovery is different for every person. I had my stroke in june 2021 and i recovered quickly i could talk and 5 days later could walk but from then onwards it was a very long hard dark journey.
With experience i longed for family to understand what i had and was going through i felt noone understood or cared bout me i had never felt so alone.
You need to encourage your husband and try to understand his journey but importantly look after yourself too. It is a long journey and two years later im unable to work ive lost my confidence i have poor memory i have fatigue its a list of what stroke has left me with thats hidden to everyone else but i no ive changed my lifes changed.
Keep coming here keep asking for advice and support big love and hugs to you and your husband 
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Sharon @Shazz15
Hello:) I know you’ve been ‘here’ since August But we only really get visibility of folk when they first post 
so a belated welcome.
Yes! I agree with your words above - So much of what we suffer after stroke is invisible to those who don’t properly understand because they need something to witness in order to be aware of showing of the internal and psychological aspects
As well as the physical healing there has to be acceptance of the unavoidable deficits and then adjustments
I hope now you’ve made a couple of posts on sharing your journey
Ciao
Simon
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Hello @Yvie my husband had a stroke on 17th December. It was terrifying and devastating and i felt sick constantly and am fearful of the future. Hes still in hospital and is showing signs of progress he has feeling back in his left side but not been out of bed yet. We are 12 days on and the initial devastation has calmed down and we are now focusing on every little positive we get. I have found its a real emotional rollercoaster not knowing how to feel from one hour to the next. Seeing him so vulnerable is so hard. People told me the early days are the worst and it will get better and honestly it really does. You will settle into a new albeit horrible routine but as the days go on you will start to see signs of recovery. Try and take care of yourself. I stopped eating and sleeping and i started having panic attacks that made me feel physically ill to the point i thought i was going to have a stroke (maybe a result of the trauma) but youll reach a point where you have to look after you to be able to be strong for your hubby. This forum has really helped me to focus on the positives. I also write a diary of everything that happens it will help you see how much progress is made. I wish you lots of love and strength and i wish him well for his recovery xx
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I am sorry you are going through this, and your husband x
I have to say this group has helped me no end. Firstly knowing that I am not alone in this. I had my stroke this time last year. I did not know anything… I just woke up in hospital and been told I had been there for weeks.
The best thing for him, in my opinion, is just to be there. For you, you need support too. This group is great but I wonder if there is something locally for you. We all need a friend, but a friend who knows about strokes will help both of you - even if it is online xx
All the best
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Hi @Shazz15 just wanted to welcome you to the forum. I’m sorry you’ve had cause to join us but it’s a good place to be, hope to see your around 
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@Shazz15 just popping by to add my Hi & welcome. Sorry to hear you are still having issues. It’s the ones that are hidden that seem to cause the most problems…or that’s what I think.
Best wishes
Ann
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Thank you so much for your reassuring words, it really means a lot and is very comforting. Yes I feel very similar to how you are describing but we are now 4 days on from his stroke, his speech is improving enough that we can have a conversation, he still cannot stand but he seems to be getting a little stronger and sitting in bed without slumping to one side. The doctor said his MRI showed he had had several small strokes leading up to this one which explains why he became unsteady when walking and having problems with word finding. I initially thought that was because of his epilepsy medication. I feel a bit more positive as he seems more like himself and I know we have a long road to travel but you are right that looking for any small improvement is a positive way to go and the diary is a great idea. I am trying to pull myself together for him, I am no use to him if I am crying all the time but that was just plain fear of the unknown and of losing him, it was an enormous shock. We will get through this and I am determined to be by his side trying my best to help support him.
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Hi shazz I suffered my hemmoragic bleed in oct 2023 and my recovery I can walk now talk my memory is bad and I suffer with bad anxiety I’ve got to have a hearing aid and walk with a stick amd my memory is poor but cos I look ok and can speak people think your ok of which I am not at all myself I’ve changed a lot my life has changed a lot and not the same person so feel your pain too
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I was exactly the same i was crying all the time i was terrified of losing him. Its a trauma seeing the person you love go through that so be kind to yourself. You will start to settle as you see little positives. For me it was when Mark held his head straight fornthe first time. You will get through it together. Im determined we will too xx
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Hi Yvie and welcome to the forum, you’ve come to the right place.
You must be going through all the emotions right now - it’s such a worrying time for you, but I’m glad you’ve found the forum. The guys on here are brilliant and have amazing coping strategies and insights that will be helpful in the coming days, weeks and months.
Sending you and your husband all the best 
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you are not alone. Keep a record to convince yourself of how far you have come. There will be progress and setbacks. Be of good coutage
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@EmmaT1974 and @Yvie
Really glad to hear your husbands are showing signs that some things are recovering 
I hope you can turn that into some comfort for yourself. I think you got the message we tried to deliver earlier about “your own resilience is a foundation stone and you must protect it”.
Other aspects of that resilience that will most probably be in your future 
Some things won’t recover Or will recover slowly with fits and starts.
The journey is not all straightforwards:(
Look out for both of those because they are part of the journey and should not disrupt your newly forming ability to cope
You will have some transitions that some forward thinking may smooth. Hospital to home is a big one and may require beds downstairs and or grab rails by toilets and showers - these are conversations to have with an occupational therapist. Application for PIP or other benefits
All the subjects/ information has been discussed on here before so you will find it by searching or by asking
Ciao
Simon
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Dear Yvie,
My heart goes out to you as my husband had a stroke in October 2022. It is a life changing event as you know and one that takes a lot of acceptance over time from both of you. I have cried many tears for him and myself too! I have found that one step at a time is the only way. My husband was not able to walk when he came home but with intensive physio which he works hard at, he is now able to walk slowly using quad stick. He has weakness on the right side and has learnt to write with the right. I found the book “My year off, rediscovering life after stroke” by Robert McCrum is very comforting. I wish you both well and remember life will improve. You will find ways to cope along with the expertise and kindness of others.
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