On August 9th 2019 my youngest son had a stroke,this was a massive shock to all the family. After 10 weeks in hospital,a lot of hard work with the physio he managed to walk out..
Progress is slow,but gives us hope..His right side has been badly effected and as yet is still unable to use his right arm or hand.
I always try to be as positive as possible but dark thoughts do creep in! Every bit of information I read or listen to tells me progress will carry on for a long time,how I would give anything to be able to look into the future to see how much progress is possible ..
I can honestly say I have only recently got over the shock and excepted that our lives will probably always be different,however different isn’t always a bad thing!
I have read many posts,thank you,many are truly inspiring..
I think the shock is the one thing that I have found so hard to accept and I am sure others will agree. It must be very difficult being a parent or partner but I am sure you will give your son the support he needs. You must also look after yourself though which is just as important to your sons recovery so do not be afraid to ask for help.
My stroke was out of the blue 3 months ago and it has changed my life with final decision being made for me to wind my business down. Its not the way I envisaged my retirement but I know it could have been a lot worse and this forum is inspiring.
In my case physically I have good days and bad days more so if I have to repeat work that I used to do and struggle, which tends to leave me feeling a bit 'down'.
Most important thing is to stay positive and hold onto the fact that things will improve over time. I now keep a short day diary just jotting down how I feel and and progress being made.
You have the right attitude and please don't forget to ask for help if you need support yourself, you are just as important.
I am 4years+ post stroke and I can assure you that improvements are still coming.
Never ever give up hope.
I so much relate to your "lives will probably always be different,however different isn’t always a bad thing!"
Your sons brain damage does not go away, just as an amputated leg doesnt regrow. But we do get the brain working around the damage to present quite good outcomes.
Do watch Andrew Mars on TV. He shows just how much can be done, even if his arm remains paralysed.
I walked a lot sooner than 10 weeks. But the consultant commented on how few people he saw could walk in to his surgery. I think this was at 6 weeks. SO if your lad walks then that shows a huge achievement.
Do say hello to him from me.
Thank you Colin
I have read many of your post which gave me the courage to write. I know my son and his partner will never give up trying ..What more can parents ask for.His two older brothers also encourage/nag/bully him!!
Along with a river of tears we have shared many times of laughter..A good friend said to me at the beginning that this event would enhance our lives,I didn’t believe her at first but strangely enough it has......We celebrate every small achievement and are truly thankful that the stroke didn’t take the personality of our son.
Thank you for your reply.
We have a very strong extended family and we consider ourselves really lucky,there is always someone ready when help is needed .
From the very beginning we kept a video diary of progress,set up a family WhatsApp group to keep everyone in the loop..When I am feeling low I look back to the early days and am reminded how far he has come..
He is the inspirational person for all of us,and we feel blessed that the stroke didn’t take the man that makes our son.
Amid the very unpleasant time of the year after stroke, I agree with you that it can enhance life. From an SS point of view there is something stoically good abut the first year or two.
I was close to death and I knew I was dying. But I came back and that had a deep meaningfulness. I think your sons stroke was a lot bigger than mine.
I like to think about the fact that I lived when many do not, made me special. As it does for all SS.
I also believe that I must have been allowed to live for a reason. So I look to see what life has saved up for me. Perhaps its helping other SS, but I dont know.
My personality has changed. I am not the same as before. As a mum you can probably see many smallish factors that are unique to your son. And lots of those have passed around the stroke damage.
Please think about how you can retain your strength. Its a long road and the worst thing you can do is to turn off that road before the due time.