Dear Graham
Yes indeed, no visitors could well help Jan. I had my wife visit for several hours each day but visitors were a big distraction.
I could use the hospital bedside phone OK. It was easier than talking face to face. I was in Colchester hospital approaching christmas 2015. I was 90% paralysed. Couldnt even turn over in bed. But within days I got up and walked. Quite literally, I woke up, decided I would get out of bed, and then five physios came to my bedside and I walked out the ward. I was the lucky one on that score. Not many have that sort of recovery, but I did so its quite doable.
I can look after myself OK. Rosemary would go on short trips to stay with family and I could do the odd few days all right. The first trip was at three months and that was a bit too soon. I struggled a lot. But after say nine months I could manage much better.
It took me years before I could attend anything without breaking down in tears. Then I suddenly thought that the problem was that my brain had not learnt how to deal with an echo. So any microphone system was hopeless. Once I sorted out the issue, then I began to resolve the problem.
I was discharged into the care of my wife, with a whole team of medical people who visited each week day for six weeks. This was called an early discharge team. I live in an ideal bungalow. No steps, toilet right by my bedroom. Wide doorways. Warm. So I was home quickly. I have a second home in Harrow. But I have not managed to go there to this day. Travel is very distressing. Yet other SS travel with ease. We are all different.
I now know that my memory from about May 2015 to the stroke on 13/12/2015 is wiped. I only know about that time because I keep a diary and I read about what I had done that year.
Getting home was not very good. It was very distressing, and I needed the care of a professional nurse, but I didnt get that. I slept with the light on for several months. Horrific nightmares and night terrors. But that eased.
Jan will not be the same person she was. But a lot of her will be there. I am a chartered accountant, but I cant even do my own tax return ! So I do other things, especially gardenning and growing vegetables. I dont miss the accountancy.
Last point for today: Jan would be wise to keep a stroke diary. You might need to start that going for the first few weeks. Page one should be a copy of the discharge letter that the hospital will write to her GP. That will show what the Doctors really think.
Look after yourself. Jan will need you and you need to keep fit, well and sane.
Ask anything. There are good people on this forum and we exchange our experiences.
Colin