What to expect in nursing home

My husband had his second massive brain bleed in June and in November was transferred, fully funded, to a local nursing home. He is totally dependent and has very little speech, the only thing he can still do is feed himself, from a spoon, with help.
I was hoping that he might be offered therapy and rehab. but the home seems only to expect to keep him safe and warm. The Community stroke team have him on their books but they say they are in great demand.
Am I being unrealistic in expecting my husband to make any improvement? Visiting the home is limited, so I don’t feel there is much I can do myself.

So sorry to hear the news about your hubby @Vicq, don’t forget to take time out for yourself too :slightly_smiling_face: you have suffered a shock and a massive change to your relationship as much as your husband is suffering the aftermath of the bleeds.

No, you are not being unrealistic about your husband making improvements, it’s still early days after the second stroke so there is always the possibility his brain can make new pathways to connect with his body again.

Hopefully the community stroke team will be in contact in the near future. Encourage him to move his affected side, even if it’s only little movements to get the brain connections working again.

Speak to the Stroke Association to see if there is anything they can suggest, read books to see if there is anything you can do to help him in the form of exercises or activities etc, though ultimately you cannot do the rehab for him, as much as you want to, he has to undertake the ‘work’ himself, you can only support and encourage.

Your instincts about the home keeping him safe and warm are probably correct, I don’t think they’ll offer rehab but they may have activities and exercise programs your husband can join in with, which will help, as an example the home my dad is in have morning exercise class and the residents can join in whilst sitting or standing (if they are able) please ask the care home about what activities they offer asking if your husband can attend them.

Wishing both of you all the very best, we’re here if you need to chat.

Dear Vicq
So very sorry to learn of your husbands parlous situation.
Stroke recovery is extremely slow, two years being quite common a period to retrieve some action.
There is always hope that your husband will start a recovery . In the meantime the home is keeping him safe and warm and fed.

You are not being unrealistic to hope for some improvement.

I was 90% paralysed and in just a few days I got out of bed and walked. Miracles do happen.

I don’t know if this might help with regards limited visiting. My friend went into residential care this summer, she has Alzheimer’s Disease. She has been getting very distressed, so the home has reclassified one of her daughters as a main carer, so that she can visit more frequently and for longer periods of time.