Understand realising

Hello, this is my first post and hope am doing this right :see_no_evil::slightly_smiling_face:
I had a right cerebral stroke 28/12/19, I still haven’t come to terms with the stroke, am now 47 year old, am left with focal seizures and some left sided weakness, plenty of medication, my short term memory is annoying cos things are all over and I can’t just have a normal conversation cos I can’t get the words out without feeling like am struggling, luckily my partner is supporting me with things like this after my GP explained wot to do as am too young to go to the memory clinic, after reading some posts it’s making me realise why am tired, not as fast as was etc, am glad this group was started :slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face:


Hello Shaza and welcome.
I have been taking part in these forums for nearly a year and I have found it a very helpful place to be both in giving and receiving help. The multiple TIAs/small strokes date back beyond 5 years and I was struggling to understand stroke issues. Sharing with others on here has helped me.

What you say about being tired (fatigue) seems to be a common factor in these forums. I have learned to pace myself and take breaks when I need to.

I worked for a Community Mental Health Team which included a memory clinic. There is no lower age limit to be seen by the memory clinic providing you meet the clinical criteria. Most patients would be over 65 because that is a general guideline but I know that there were some as young as being in their 30s.


@Shaza1975 welcome to the forum. Sorry you’ve had a stroke. It does take some getting used to especially at a young age.

It’s a shame you can’t access a memory clinic. I never knew there was an age restriction on them. I wonder if you push them a bit they might see you.

This is a great group for support & advice. Look forward to hearing more fom you.

Best wishes.
Ann x

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Thanku I will try see wot I can do, I no I was told they will email my neurologist

It really is a good group, best place I have come across :slightly_smiling_face:


Welcome Shaza. I am seven years post stroke and have learned that

  • you must accept your stroke. It happened and can’t be undone.
  • improvement is slow and takes a lot of hard work. Every day is a new chance to improve.
  • fatigue is best tackled by doing tasks stage by stage and resting when needed.
  • you will have down days and days when things seem to go backwards. You will get through these bad days.
  • stroke is no respecter of age. Stroke happens

@Shaza1975 welcome to the forum, try speaking to your GP again for a referral to the memory clinic as age shouldn’t be a barrier to accessing help.

Best wishes

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Shwmae @Shaza1975, the good news is that most non-stroked people’s memories are poor due to the nature of how the brain uses memory. And this is good news because memory can be trained to be more efficient with cognitive memory exercises. My working memory was shattered after stroke, I have been working rather hard on improving this and have found I am making good progress. It is beneficial to work out what the stroke has impacted memory wise as opposed to every day memory lapses. I wish you a stronger and stronger going forward improving this function. :grinning:


Hi there.
I find it difficult to believe you could be refused access to a memory clinic because of your age. Perhaps you could find out who runs the clinic and ask them direct what their policy is before going back to your GP?

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Hi @Shaza1975 and welcome to the forum. I’m sure you’ll find lots of helpful advice here. I’m a bit older than you but have managed to return to work successfully. I get a great deal of satisfaction in still being capable of doing my job, even though people often need reminding that I find certain aspects difficult (such as managing the dreaded fatigue).

You are still young so can, and should, have the goal to try and get back to some kind of work (if that’s what you want). Even though stroke leaves us as very different people to our former selves there are some strange semi-positives. It may sound strange (& it could be my damaged brain talking :rofl::thinking:) but I found that I appreciate many things I took for granted and I have slowed down my pace of life somewhat (which actually is not such a bad idea).

As @John_Jeff_Maynard says, it is really important to accept it has happened and to try and make the best of the rest of your life.

I wish you all the best and look forward to hearing how you get on.


Am going to speak to the neurology team after new year and see wot they can do


Hi Shaza1975, Welcome to the forum I’m sorry you’ve had to join. I had an embolic stroke in February 19 at 49 and struggled with my memory and communication in group settings, I went to my GP with the memory problem as it really bothered me not remembering full conversations etc, I was referred to community mental health to ensure it wasn’t other factors such as depression etc., when this was ruled out I was referred onwards by them to the memory clinic, at the clinic it was discussed that it was stroke related after scans and tests and something I just had to learn to live with which was a relief for it not to be early onset dementia, I was also diagnosed with expressive aphasia which made sense, having a confirmed diagnosis made it easier for me to accept. If you feel you want to be referred to the memory clinic I would go back to your GP. Good Luck.

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I got told I would have to live with it too but it makes me feel stupid when people look at me like I should no wot am doing, even my son says I should take more notice, I no he’s only 11 year old next week but it hurts and is upsetting, I have to wear a medical alert pendant cos of post stroke issues so can show that if things get to much, it’s rare I go out on me own anymore cos am embarrassed especially when near older people

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@Shaza1975 please don’t feel like that, it’s other people’s ignorance not yours, not all incapacities are visible.

Perhaps, just a suggestion here, you ask your son to play some memory games with you, that way he’ll begin to understand you require his assistance and understanding.

It’s good you’ve got a med alert pendant if you have difficulty expressing yourself.

Best wishes, take care


I know exactly what you mean Shaza1975, my daughter is 27 but hasn’t lived with us since going to uni at 18. She will say to me “mum you don’t listen properly you’re not taking things in, it’s not your memory you just need to concentrate”. My eldest daughter doesn’t even notice anymore because I spend so much time with her and my husband is the same. I do crosswords and brain training things which I’m not too bad at. I was told that at least it’s not Alzheimer’s or dementia it’s not degenerative and therefore adapting and accepting will help ie: reminders for appointments with alarms on my phone, everything that’s said to me I need to action goes in my calendar it does help and I’m no longer mortified at forgetting stuff it’s me! I say to myself I’ve accepted my stroke but maybe not, I fell down my patio steps 3 weeks before Christmas i’m still black and blue as I’m on warfarin for a congenital heart condition, my kids and husband were beside themselves when they saw me and said why don’t you just use the stick? Because it’s something I can decide for myself :joy: it’s good to rule things out and have professional advice on how to manage things. I wish you all the best take care Nat.


I use reminders for everything too. Like you if I have to action something it goes on my to do list. If not on there it usually gets forgotten.

Hope you recover from your fall very soon xx


Hi there,

I’m not sure about this posting because I was understood I was replying to someone else, Shaza1975! I had a stroke last August 2021 and I’m interested about ‘memory clinics’ but I’m too young?
Does anyone advIse me about books or videos for memory loss? Or ideas
about loss of words (hughknopf@rocketmail.com)

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@Shaza1975 welcome to the group, this is the best place for advice I too have left sided weakness from my stroke in November 2020. In October 2021 I had my first focal seizure. was put on levetiracetam to stop them, December2021 had another one, medication doubled, and touch wood not had another. in terms of the short term memory I suggest reading brain fog from this site. it’s very good. I found the best way to accept what has happened to you is to acknowledge what you can do, don’t get hung up on what you can’t do, but you need to mourn your old self. A dear friend of mine almost died in car crash, he said for him to deal with it was to let go of the you, and love the new you.


I will have a look at that and Thanku :hugs:

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