Thank you Tony for your heartfelt analysis of your stroke journey.
I think that most stroke survivors can relate to the huge impact not just physical but emotionally and the continual adjustments needed to cope and move forward with life and not curl up and feel sorry and give up
personally I was looking to see how if any recovery was made later on and I found your post, I myself am approaching my 3rd year and I have found myself reflecting and through other medical events very grateful to be able to keep going and likewise grateful for the level of use that I do have and how important it is to maintain it
so yes time keeps moving forward and so must we with all our ailments as every day is special and a gift
again thank you for your frank and thoughtful insight and I clung in to the comments made early on in any stroke recovery that everyone recovers in their own time
hope is eternal
reality is here and now
Thanks for your message and for a thoughtful response to my post of some time ago. I don't have a lot to add, but now at over 5 years post stroke, I'm still here, still adapting to my disabled condition. Physically things are still very frustrating. I lost a bit of strength in my affected leg, the left, over the lockdown months and it has been a struggle to get the motivation back to try to rebuild that strength. It is coming, slowly. Walking is not going to return as it was, but I have decided that continuing to keep at it is the best way as it can only help with general health and it may give me back something I've lost. I have not recovered any real function in my left hand but the spasticity has reduced so it doesn't clench in a fist all the time as it used to, so who knows, maybe new connections can still be made. If I had to categorise year 5, I d say the predominant theme is acceptance. Which is different from resignation or giving up, I don't know how to describe the difference yet. I don't really like the idea of "the new you" that some commentators use, it might help some, but for me it doesn't address the grief that for me is a constant companion.
I will repeat an important theme from my 3 years reflection, it is the support of loved ones. I can't stress enough how important that has been for me, and my heart goes out to those who haven't had the benefit of it, as I know that there are some. For me it's been a life saver, literally, at least once. So let me wish you well in your continuing recovery keep in touch. Thank you for your message of hope, I appreciated that very much.
Wishing you a hopeful year 4 and beyond.
Tony
Thanks so much for describing your years of recovery Anthony, I am at the 17 month point so into year 2 struggling with being disabled, lost my job uncertain as to my field loswhich is holding up my driving your story gives me hope.
Wish you well and thanks for sharing. Mark
Thanks Tony your story has helped me regroup myself and focus on the year two and hopefully three.
My never ending low grade discomfort in my head is more annoying than being disabled as it makes one feel under the weather all the time, hope my brain fixes that soon and I can focus on living pain free in the world of the disabled
Thanks tony great summary, I too lost my job due to disabling don’t miss it or the stress, looking for a position that fits my recovery needs as my settlement won’t last forever, here’s hoping. Wish arm leg and pain would come good maybe that’s for years 4&5.
I just got your comment today for which, many thanks
Thats quite an old post from me
Im now 7 years post stroke ( as of last month). Recently I have found anniversaries a bit difficult so haven’t given updates.
Work seems very remote these days and I hit statutory retirement age in 2 years anyway so I am not looking for anything now.
This period is more about acceptance and hope within that. It has taken years to come to terms with the losses of function and to get to the right moment to move from working on recovery to focusing on adapting. Ive struggled a lot with that. Much of the motivational talk is about " fighting it" honestly I am not doing that anymore. I’m simply grateful each morning that I am still here ( and somewhat surprised!) Actually quite a nice way to begin the day. I have much to be grateful for and life is pretty good mostly in spite of my considerable disability. I still get the dread fatigue occasionally which can be depressing. I bought a small powered wheelchair last year which has made a huge difference. I don’t yet go out unaccompanied. I sm lucky to still have family at home who accompany me. I buy them lots of treats and make full use of companion tickets for shows and outings it isn’t easy and I do get low occasionally but I am in a much better place now that I don’t have to go to work. The stress was unreal. It must have taken a good 2.years for that to settle down. I suspect there was a kind of PTSD going on. Id have bad dreams and flashbacks about the worst parts. Good riddance to all that. I have another life to live.
Hope all is going well with you
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and to comment
All the best
Tony
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Thanks Tony it’s a pleasure to understand your journey and how you feel about your life.
I’m another 7 years off retirement and am lucky to have my wife and son in the home.
I concentrate on recovery in-spite of very little evidence that my situation has changed. I still get out in the car and make every effort to get to places we as a family have been able to go to. It makes life more normal and easier.
It gives my wife the sense of things being more normal I owe her that much. When I’m better than I am now I can prepare for support img her through the aging process, good luck.
Mark