Somewhere, under one of the beds, in amongst the dust bunnies, there is a goblin.
Not something anyone would notice really.
The creature does like a hat, in fact a variety of hats.
It has discovered that a sock fits quite comfortably on its head.
They look stylish and keep your head warm.
Get a few and you can have a regular change of head wear.
Socks are relatively easy to obtain.
There’s the laundry basket, the sock drawer, inside the wellington boots by the door and sometimes on the floor in the bedroom.
If one of these creatures takes up residence in your home the first signs will be a collection of single socks each being a remaining one of a pair.
Occasionally you might find one of these socks amongst the debris under the bed, or stuffed down the side of an easy chair, or even in the garden amongst the begonias.
Remember though, these are no longer socks, they have become goblin hats and as such are slightly magical, being able to disappear and re-appear at any time and in any place.
There will be more, always more. (the goblin says so)
We live in a different land where the mists swirl on different axis
In this realm we note that pairs of socks descend to the utility room where they are placed inside of the vortex along with powder and shirts and water.
After the vortex has transmogrified only the socks and we open the door and remove the contents only one sock remains.
But we do not despair.
Because we have identified where the vortex exits.
We have a sink! When we put a plug in it, fill it with water and other magic potions that would create a an elixer of bubbles that consume fat and oils when that water cools and the plug is removed the transdimensional has magically produced a teaspoon !
We’re not sure how we feel about the economics of this exchange
we haven’t found a way yet of turning the one odd sock into a second teaspoon. This we have managed instead by buying odd socks in the first place, they come in pairs and 11 11 disappears instead of having a singleton we have a triplet
We are unsure as yet wether the triplets suffer the same fate as pairs when they get exposed to the vortex
I am laughing too hard to come up with as eloquent prose for the pen elf. I have about 14 in arms reach of the operations sofa and the elf (who I’m sure is working in conjunction with the armoured mosquito to steal my pens and then whist distracted bite me) but I doubt I can.
The pen elf is clearly small and dark and normally sneaks up on my right and then magically hides all the pens in inaccessible places like under the sofa or (???) on the radiator in the hallway…
The AM gets a tip off from the PE then bites me somewhere unexpected like my head or left knee even though I’m wearing jeans…
I’m not sure if the elf is just trying to test me to help recovery or what but the AM is definitely after my blood!! Even polars hasn’t been able to stop him even though I keep reminding him to keep an eye out.
I had a pen ready to write down in big capitals a rant about an email I received earlier and then decided not to reply tonight but save it so write my tiughts (in my PB notebook obvs) and it went I looked and then had to reach for one of my back ups but in that time the AM bit my elbow. I am a bit chilly so not got the fan on…
You must remember you are an important member of the great and grand food cycle.
Every nibble you provide for your mosquito helps to build it up so that eventually it will become a tasty morsel which will become nourishment for some other miniature creature.
This cycle will continue as I am sure you well know.
Your donations are helping the life on this planet to prosper and flourish.
I’m sure you deserve another badge and several levels for your generosity.
Take care, there’s a planet out there waiting to be saved.
. . . and do Remember, twaddle helps the world go around.
Now please excuse me, it is 4 am and time to go make a coffee and some naan bread with garlic butter for tomorrow’s today’s mushroom soup. I can’t hang around here talking twaddle.
3.45 pm. Twelve hours have passed.
The coffee was made, it’s time for another really. The naan bread dough is in the fridge ready for tea time and I made an egg custard too. Nice to feel up to date, Time for a siesta methinks.
I’d happily stick a stamp on the corner of a piece and send it to you, Matthew, but the postman has a hungry look about him and I suspect he would devour it himself.
Made in a pressure cooker and cooked for seven minutes, so I suppose that makes it fast food.
Beat 50 g of sugar with three eggs in a bowl. Add 420 ml milk, a teaspoon of vanilla extract and mix well together.
Pour into a dish that will hold 500 ml. Sprinkle nutmeg over. Put a cupful of water in the pressure cooker. Carefully put dish into cooker and close lid. Pressure cook for 7 minutes then release pressure.
The custard will be very wobbly. Leave it on one side to cool and set.
(see post above a little way)
Keep an eye out for Tomte’s and suchlike, this sort of edible treat has been known to totally vanish when they are about.
They are generally described as being short, having a long white beard, and wearing a conical or knit cap in gray, red or some other bright colour.
I used to crush garlic efficiently with the side of a kitchen knife, but the strength and agility in my hands means I can no longer do it this way, though I am working to get it back. It was not a method I have seen others use but it is quick and easy, unfortunately these days I am slow and clumsy.
My Mrs bought me a garlic crusher, from ebay I think, which I would have laughed at in days gone by. Now I use it on a chopping board where it works quite well.