Struggling to come to terms with what happened

I can't seem to get my head around it, I don't want anyone to know it happened, is that weird?

I'm even struggling to use the word 'stroke'.  I haven't told anyone other than immediate family, even then I've tried to downplay it saying I've been treated for a blood clot and prefer to use the term the paramedics used which was CVA (cerebrovascular accident), it's almost as if I'm pretending to myself that it didn't happen.

On the other hand, my husband's treating me as if I'm made of spun-glass, so fragile and delicate, he keeps saying 'just rest', 'don't do that, I'll do it', 'you'll have to retire now' or 'you can't do that' etc he wants me to sit and do nothing. I've told him I have to move and exercise and do things so my brain can rewire but all he says is 'I nearly lost you and I don't want you to have another'.

It's only been 18 days, so I guess we both still have a lot to come to terms with.

It is very hard to come to terms with, but please accept your stroke and move on. You do not need to be treated with kid gloves, but neither do you want to overdo things. Recovery takes a long time and may require changes in diet and lifestyle. I wish you a good recovery.

Sorry to hear about your stroke. The first weeks are very traumatic and, for me, being told I had had a stroke was petrifying. I shared some information from the Stroke association with family and friends which seemed to help give them a better understanding of what I was going through. In the first weeks I hardly understood it myself let alone be able to explain it to others.

Be kind to yourself, try not to overdo/force it and I wish you a speedy recovery. 

My last stroke wad 57 days ago , some days i accept that this  'for the time being'', is my new normal , on other days i can so easily put it in a small box and pretend its not there , its a lot to get your head around , my partner also tells me to rest up , theyre probably just as worried as we are about another stroke  , 

Thanks for the encouragement John, much appreciated 

Thanks Alis, sound advice of being kind to myself, I'll work on that. I have someone from the stroke association coming to see me today, so hopefully chatting to someone face to face will alleviate some of the fears I have.

Thanks Carl, thanks for letting me know your partner also tells you to rest up. Your right of course, we're lucky to have someone in our lives that care about us and are worried for us.

I hope you are making good progress on recovering from your stroke, take care.

Great to hear this. 2 1/2 weeks in and my spouse is a great helper and challenger - e.g. why aren’t you using the weak hand? I found it helpful to read this + read the Fatigue topic on the forum + watch After Life (Netflix). Good luck and take it easy

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@Mahoney hi I’ve just been reading your post and all I can say is you sound like me! I don’t understand why I felt embarrassed or shame either. I think we just think it can not happen to us! We have come along way and we will keep going :hugs::blush:

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Thanks Lorraine :grinning: I have come a long way since that post, looking back to when I wrote that I was still in shock, it was very early days, I guess I felt disbelief, I couldn’t comprehend it had actually happened to me.

Yes, we will keep going and getting stronger emotionally and in body everyday :hugs:

@LLeader I’m so pleased to hear you’ve got a supportive and encouraging spouse, we definitely need someone in our corner.

Best wishes, take care

We certainly will :hugs:

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I here and feel you! Stroke and me in the same sentences pffftt never going to happen to me…
Oh wait it did! Why? How? Doesnt make sense?

Im 2 weeks post stroke and tbh i keep empathising the word MILD, ah yeah its just mild affects , oh yeah left arms mildy affected - its fine getting stronger daily (lie).

My husband is much like yours wrapping me up in cotton ! Him and my 14 year old son are emotional too keep saying the same , we could have lost you.

Think we need to remember we are not alone and this is a process , no matter how hard it is

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@TootieB the impact of stroke not only affects the person having the stroke but their family too, it’s something that we never imagine is going to happen to us.

It’s a lot to take in for the SS and their loved ones.

Give yourself, hubby and son a little time and you’ll find a new balance and the shock eases somewhat. Two weeks in stroke recovery is very early stages. Hopefully your arm will get stronger, keep up with the rehab and repetition of movements whilst your brain is repairing, keep believing.

I had counselling and I understand it is similar to the 5 stages of grief, in the beginning I think I was stuck in denial stage for a while :smile:

Wishing you all the very best, take care

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