Spoke too soon

Hi everyone think i spoke too soon last time i was on john had abit of a fall at the weekend his ankle wants to turn over so after he got himself out of the house he was waking(slowly)up the garden when he went over on his ankle ,luckily i was near so could help him slowly fall to floor ,anyway this has had an effect on his confidence an it feels he has gone backwards please tell me this is normal not the falling the feeling of 2 steps forward then 3 steps backwards im feeling very stressed so can’t beginto to know what he’s feeling

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@lynne_day923

I had a stroke about eighteen months ago. I was a slow starter but I have gained some mobility and movement in my hand and arm. I am positive about more yet to come.

In hospital I was told something after my first fall, by a doctor who examined me to make sure there was no major damage.

He told me that as time went by if I was making progress then to expect that falls would happen. I think this was good advice and though I don’t go looking for things to go wrong it does help me stay positive about making improvements.

I never look at a fall as a backward step and just accept it as a challenge to move ahead a little more.

You are bound to worry about him but encourage him and praise up his successes. At times just a smile from my wife has been enough to give me a lift. I hate giving her cause for worry.

Keep on keepin’ on
:writing_hand: :grinning: :+1:

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I can’t speak for all of us, but if I had a dime for each time one of us has mentioned moving forward, then back again, or the ups and downs…Well, it would have paid out more the disability insurance does. Recovery from almost any illness or injury is rarely linear, most especially stroke with so many different issues involved. Can’t move forward without risking a little bit…including a possible fall, or a possible choking hazard, becoming overwhelmed, overtired, or having a meltdown. I have been homebound so much, I am afraid to get out in public. I get anxious tremors at the overwhelm of noise, lights, movement of myself and others, can’t judge how much space is between me and another person, furniture, between me and the curb… And I feel foolish. My carer cannot stand to see me suffer so goes to grocery or library or where ever, without me. (It is also much faster for her to do it). That is not helping me relearn to do it, although I understand and appreciate what she is trying to do. I have started poking a little fun at myself when I am out by joking that I am dancing. One lady waiting on an elevator at the hospital actually beat me to it. She just assumed I badly needed a bathroom and that was the dance I used to keep from flowing too soon. I laugh every time I think of that. I have always despised calling attention to myself, looking foolish or helpless. I am getting better at not stressing that by reminding myself I would not see someone else in the light I seem to put myself into in these situations. I would rather relearn than sit around feeling helpless or hopeless.

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@lynne_day923 sorry to hear your husband had a fall but like others have said it is almost a part of the recovery process. 2 steps gorward 3 back definitely seems to be normal & i think we have all been there.

Try not to let it knock his confidence. As long as he wasn’t hurt that’s the main thing. Encourage him to have another go when he’s ready. Sounds like he has lots of support from you which will help him immensely.

Best wishes

Ann

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Thanks for your response i do encourage him and have found that he can do things for himself it might take him a while and struggle but he manages sometimes i feel bad for watching him struggle but i suppose thats the only way to learn new skills again ill keep pushing him and will no doubt be bk on again,as Bobby says keep on keeping onđź‘Ť

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Hi Lynne. Sorry to hear about John and hope his confidence soon returns. This used to happen to me. My foot would suddenly turn and in fact I fell a few times and once ended up with a broken arm. I now wear an Orthotic on that foot and touch wood it seems to work. My hospital physio made an appointment to see the Orthotics man at our local hospital and he gave me this. It’s hardly attractive but sure that won’t bother your husband like it bothers me! Just a thought. Good luck to you both

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Hi, sorry to hear that John has had a fall. Stroke recovery is definitely 3 steps forward 2 steps back and it’s very frustrating but perfectly normal. I’m 6 years post stroke following a hemorrhagic stroke which paralysed my left side. I manage to get around with a stick and have fallen a couple of times, luckily without causing any damage but my confidence took a knock and it took me a while to get that back. My husband is my carer and I know he was as nervous as me for a while after but slowly with his help and encouragement I managed to get back on track.

Encourage him whenever he struggles, it definitely helps to know that someone believes in you, sounds like you are doing a great job.

Keep on keeping on.

Best wishes to both of you

Regards Sue

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@lynne_day923
If you read this forum you’ll find that one of my passions is food and cooking. I’ve always, since retirement made the meals and directed the shopping.

Since my stroke I am much slower prepping a dish. My wife is driven to distraction with how long it takes me to do some simple stage. We have come to a sort of agreement, she will walk away and let me plod through without interrupting and trying to help. Somehow this works.

Things are not always easy, a stroke causes all sorts of associated difficulties and frustrations and it isn’t always easy to explain why you want to just keep trying, when someone can do something for you more quickly and make a better job without the falls, broken crockery and yes, cuts and burns. I just want to fight to get some of it back as I am sure does your husband. You have to find a way to work together.

Oh, and laugh a little, when you can, it’s better than crying. Don’t go away keep telling us about your and his journey. We have been where you are and will always listen.

Keep on keepin’ on
:writing_hand: :grinning: :+1:

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I am so sorry you are both having to go through this up hill battle, unfortunately this is something we all must go through in stroke recovery. Much like in all physical training, you build up your muscle and stamina to certain level, then you need a little time out before the next progression. The brain is another muscle after all and will work in a similar way. So what you see as regression is his brain taking a time out. It gives the brain time rest and process all that its learned.

We are much like babies with their under developed brains, only in our case our brains were damaged/burnt out in parts and signals have to be remapped if they can, and so we have to relearn certain things all over again. When babies first learn to walk, they too have frequent periods of regression, where they suddenly drop and crawl again. Your hubby is learning to walk again, much like babies, only we fall harder in adulthood…he’s learnt that lesson now :wink: Part of his learning is going to be about being extra careful when he does walk, confidence will grow as he grows stronger in his walking ability again.

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Bobbi said what I think is most important

  • if you strive for improvement then on occasion you will have the odd hiccup.

These short YouTube’s on getting up after a fall may help there are only a few of many there is also a really good one on fall prevention from different strokes which I have posted in the forum before and you’ll find with a search using magnified glass above

Couple of observations made in the hope of that you will see them as a positives. they are “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” Ie there’s a silver lining - and
If you see it as three steps forward two steps backwards maybe you’re looking at too short a time frame and with a little distance in observation see that as steady progress?

Simon

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Yep I’ve managed to break a cup, a plate, a vase (I never liked that one anyway), even couple of chipped cups and plates too :confounded: :roll_eyes:
Maybe we aught to make a mention to that too in our Welcome post :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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Good idea - knock yourself out :slight_smile:
It’s freely editable - maybe remove some stuff versus the addition so it’s not getting longer?
Maybe mention one step forward one step backwards as context to broken crockery?

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@SimonInEdinburgh Dr. Newland is wonderful and this video on falling is so helpful.
Lynn, so sorry about John.
A while back I was walking down the basement stairs. I sort of leaned to the right and tried to steady myself on a pile of big boxes as they had nothing inside them I just went right over onto the floor knocking over a table and other objects. The table had a can of paint and it fell to the floor and of course the lid was loose and there was paint everywhere. I didn’t get hurt, but my confidence was hurt.
It took a lot of slow walking and awareness to get me to stop worrying, but gradually I have lost most of the fear.
My therapist said " Don’t walk on automatic pilot as if you were 100% ok" You need to stand and pause, then go slowly and ease into a rhythmic cadence". My spastic right leg is often rigid and I can feel a bit tipsy at times as the left and right legs are certainly out of balance.
Hope thing go better for both of you and keep fighting this thing of ours.

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At a barbeque one day, I didn’t notice a small step from garden decking to lawn, fortunately a garden shed broke my fall as I crashed into it…with a cup of tea in hand :confounded: :face_with_spiral_eyes: Now when I stand I have to check all around my feet for a clear path through before I move off.

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@EmeraldEyes
yes careful awareness is key. There are times I get out of my chair and start walking without that necessary pause and that’s when I can get into trouble especially after sitting for a long time. ( like when I’m watching Poirot). lol

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@Outlander have you seen Elyse’s video on overcoming spasticity. It’s a fairly recent one It might even have been today or yesterday?

I can look for the link if you haven’t seen it and can’t find it

Hope you’re having a good day. I know you’re over the pond but I don’t remember or never knew where? Clearly I’m in Edinburgh!

Ciao
Simon

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@SimonInEdinburgh Hello Simon: I’ll look for that video.
I’m on the East Coast in New Jersey.
I was born in Dumfriesshire. I came over to the states when I was Six. Been back to Scotland twice.
Been to New Zealand twice and have family there. Lots of Scots in NZ.
Thanks much Simon.

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@SimonInEdinburgh
Simon: I found it…Brilliant!

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yes that’s the one
:smile: