Been a bit quiet lately, going through a bit of a slump. Have been watching current affairs and the news, I really shouldn’t. It’s not doing my emotional cortex any good, I don’t think I am ready to react to social and political problems. I need to bury my head back into the mycelium again. It’s always a shock to the system when you think you are capable of processing more, and then end up feeling like the brain is in a straitjacket, and can’t move around freely with rational thoughts on various matters. There’s a free Wales service called SilverCloud Wales which offers free online CBT. I’ve registered, and hope it can sail me through these patchy cognitive waters.
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Dear Rups. I do understand that you are experiencing a low. The news about the Ukraine is so worrying. Try as I might not to I watch every news programme and read the daily newspaper. I am struggling to learn to talk and walk again and this keeps me going. I have so much encouragement from my husband and the community team. They give me hope and incentive after my second stroke. We all need a goal to work towards. Can you find something to aim for, no matter how small? It might help lift your spirits.Best wishes Lilian
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Hi Rups, definitely ups & downs . Need, good days .
. David.
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Hi Lilian, NOOO , I Believe it is called DOOM SCROLLING , avoid at all costs. Covid news terrible for anxiety, now Russia, trying to keep to minimum. Hope things are improving a bit for you. Good speaking David.
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Dear David Thank you for your message. I shall try to do as you say I will concentrate on the trivia and my mindless books! I am making some progress, slow but with some success. My husband and family are supportive thankfully. Thank you for your interest.Lilian
Yes, @David3, I feel a bit straitjacketed at the moment, and feel like my brain can’t stay on the rails. I need to get back to my little world, anxiety levels are currently being warded off with a rapidly depleting torch. I have no impulse control, and so very tempted to watch the news but need to be strong, and read a book instead, or do some pottering about the place.
Hi @Rups , and all. It can be difficult when you have these bad days but hopefully you’ll feel a bit better in the morning. It certainly doesn’t help ones mood when watching the news at the moment so try to find more pleasant thing to do like reading or listening to music. Always better to talk about it (on here) than to stew. At least typing and reading replies is a distraction for a while and hopefully a good night will help.
Strangely, I had my 8th and final online CBT session today and definitely think the whole course was helpful. CBT techniques do seem pretty obvious but the thing that is difficult is making it second nature. All much easier when you are in a good place and therefore less likely to n eed it! I’m one of those people that tend to very quickly escalate negative feelings when in a bad place but have found that the "worry tree’ is a good tool to try. It basically gets you to work through a particular problem by asking yourself a series of questions to either try and find a way forward with a worry or (if it is not something in your control) park it. I think it is one of the more useful tools that kind of sums up a lot of the other CBT tools learnt earlier in the course.
Long and short of it, I was slightly sceptical before but found it very useful.
So give it a go and hopefully you will gain some benefit.
Hope you are feeling better soon.
Mark
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Hopefully the CBT will help and keep you busy. I too cannot focus on the news, it’s not that I don’t care, I just can’t process it, and equally can’t change anything. This does add to a feeling of already being disassociated with society in general but I figure when I am stronger I can try reintroducing things bit by bit. I try and fill my time as I realise I need to be busy or intrusive worst case scenario thoughts take over in the chaos of worry and anxiety. Thanks for the info about the CBT, Julia
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Shwmae @Mahoney, well, at the moment, I am sleeping a lot because I am not sleeping at night very well. Broken sleep. Hopefully, I can steer myself back into some calm and friendly pastimes that require curbed cognitive effort. 
Shwmae @JuliaH, I sort of knew I couldn’t cope well with it, but as @David3 mentioned, it’s “doom scrolling”, and it only drags one deeper and deeper into, as you mention, something you can’t control. I’ve been so focussed on all the other aspects of recovery, I had put aside the emotional aspect of the stroke, and I guess, it’s good that I can now address it with the aid of CBT.
Shwmae @Ingo66 (Mark), I’m looking forward to it, as I completed a nine week mindfulness course, and like that, I think one can cherry pick what works, and add it to ones tool belt.
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Absolutely, not all of it will suit everyone but I can certainly say there are bits that totally make sense to me (even if some of it just reinforces things you know you should be doing). Clunky sentence, but you know what I mean .
I too don’t sleep that well but have found it reassuring to check my Fitbit sleep stats and see a reasonable amount of deep and REM sleep.
I really hope you are in a better place today.
On a totally different subject, I am going on Saturday to pick up a rescue cat which I hope will be a big help with brightening my mood. I went to see him on Tuesday and he is absolutely fab. I’m so excited! 
.
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Hello 
. My rescue house rabbits give me a really good reason to be my best self daily I’m so glad I have them on my life. Good luck! 
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Hi I felt the same when we were all going through the beginnings of covid I put a ban on the news in my house hubby had to watch it upstairs it was getting me all upset and then I would just cry and cry and due to my stroke my emotions were all over the place and even now I don’t watch the news xx
I am excited for you too @Ingo66, my rescue cat Daisy was at the back of the cage, her ears bitten by the other cats who were all mewing at the front. Her previous owners gave her up because they proclaimed, “she never does anything”, and when I got her home she hid in my study for about a month, only coming out at night to eat. Now, she follows me everywhere, I can take her for walks around the fields, she sits on my shoulders when I am weeding the garden, and snuggles under the duvet at times in the morning. Such wonderful, mysterious creatures these cat things
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Hi Rups & Lorraine, your cats sound/look lovely. As my new addition is FIV he is getting a final checkup today so fingers crossed everything will be fine and we’ll be off to get him in the morning!
I’ll post a pic when he feels settled.
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Hi Rups, another rest day . Listening to rats in loft. 
. David.
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Hi Dave3 some have cats but you have rats, hasn’t the penny dropped yet? If your not a cat person a pet ferret could solve your problem
Hi all, as promised here is a picture of Buster who has been exploring the whole house today.
He is absolutely lovely and has been very good so far but I can’t help stressing all the same. He’s just being inquisitive by jumping on the widowsills and kitchen counter, tables etc. I know it is absolutely normal and all will be fine in a few days but this crazy post stroke anxiety that I’ve been left with is so difficult. Thank god I’m on meds for it or I wouldn’t be able to cope. I know it’s totally irrational but my stupid brain runs away with its self.
Just to confirm the cat is an absolute 
and I have no justification to even post this. Sorry for loosing my 
, I hate being like this.
Looking forward to many happy years with Buster. Just need to get over this hump. Will be great to give you a positive update in a few days.
Love you guys and gals.
Crazy Mark