S.a.h aftermath my story

47 yr old ..8month since my s.a.h I live in the rural highlands and finding it impossible to access any help ..I am waiting on another appointment with the trauma team but as its now been passed to haematology and genetics t it troubletaking a while  with living in rural areas especially n Scotland the transfer from region to region ..I myself 3 hospitals in 3 districts has seemed to cause a blip ..we where overlooked initially and seem to be running around 3 month late on everything .. so things are upon us before we've even learnt they could even be an issue .. guilt sadness anger fear confusion seem to have replaced my warrior spirit emotions that just spring from nowhere irrational trains of thought.. that's without the word confusion sensory overload and embarrassment that seems to want the  tiny  part me holding on ..since being told that despite initial thoughts that it was isolated incident and recurrence would be very slim because the nature of it .In December I found i am indeed now classed as high risk of another s.a.h  along with heart attack and stroke ..and it has set me back ..I'm scared of dying if there's a next  time of feeling that pain and knowing it's game over. I feel exhausted at being or trying to optimistic about the progress and to accept the changes that have gone on inside and out ..and what I've done to my my family ..the burden it's been to carry me ..and I absolutely loathe the feeling  so I guess am I asking is anyones inner shield maiden or warrior faltering maybe you've had  similar feeling and actually sought help and could give us some tips indeed if you  have anything positive to add at all I would really like to hear from you ?. I am also sorry for the lack of commas in my post ..it deleted the word before and after when I used them . Chelle ?

Chelle, I had a haemorrhage stroke nearly four years ago and thought my end had come. I remained fearful for quite some time and on my first night home, I told my partner I would die that night. I didn't and, four years on, I can do quite a bit. However, I live in the Midlands and have had plenty of support.

That is not to say it hasn't been hard and it required me to change my diet, drop my alcohol intake an limit stress. My inner warrior is a funny one. It appears when I feel really low and says things like, 'Well, are you just going to sit there and do nothing?' That usually spurs me on. Last night I wondered if I was up to dusting a whole room and decided against it. Today, my inner voice said, 'Well, are you going to do that dusting, or what'....so I did. Feel a bit shattered now, but the task was achieved. Sometimes, a task is best done in stages.

Generally speaking, it is never wise to give into fear. Mind you, I am niw 76, so I have to take due account of death, but when the old man arrives, I hope he finds me dusting

I hope you get more support soon. Remember Braveheart.....

Hi Chelle, I had a s.a.h in April last year, I was terrified of having another as I have about 5 weeks that are a complete blank and no memory of the day it happened. I found going to the supermarket very difficult as the lights really affected me. Being in the north east of Scotland I found there is not a lot of help at all so I spent a lot of time reading up online and found the stroke association which I've found really helped. Good luck with your recovery, you will get there x

I think I find it hard as I didn't have high blood pressure I didn't drink smoke was healthy very slim very fit . And as there's no lifestyle change needed as such (it was venous bleed ..with c.f pressure and leak )I feel I'm a sitting duck ..just waiting for the next issue whilst waiting for genealogy to investigate and decide illness number one or two ..it's tiring ...and as for polishing ...I'm an expert ..but forget the hoovering that's just way too much ?