Today I’ve been reflecting on my life pre stroke. Not in a bad or down way just in a wondering how I used to manage it all sort of way.
Since returning to work 3 weeks ago (only working 9 hrs a week so far) I have struggled to work, do the housework and my exercises and last weekend when I tried to catch up on the housework fatigue arrived and hasn’t really left yet.
Pre stroke I was this really busy, always on the go person. I held down a job where I regularly worked 50 - 60 hours a week, I was a Parish Councillor, volunteered at the local covid vaccination Centre, did all the housework, food shopping, cooked all meals and travelled a lot with work (probably away at least 1 night 2 or 3 times a month). I ran and walked regularly amongst many other things.
It led me to say to my husband how on earth did I ever manage it all; as I was struggling to clamber out of bed this morning. I can’t imagine getting even close to it right now and just thinking about it is exhausting . I don’t actually want to go back to that life. I honestly do like the slower pace of life although not sure I like the way I got here resting is a part of my day now and I no longer feel guilty for doing so. I would though like to work and be able to live a little around that. Work has got a little easier this last week and I will be increasing my hours a bit after next week to see how I get on.
Like everyone else there have been some low moments but there have also been many good things happen since my stroke.
I know I will get there. I guess I’m just looking for some inspiration to help me manage work and life without feeling permanently exhausted.
Have a lovely Easter everyone. You’re all doing amazing.
@Mrs5K I too often wonder how I managed to do all I did pre stroke as the mere thought of what I did then has me exhausted now.
Being back at work will get easier Ann, give it a few more weeks, but don’t be hurried to increase the hours too soon or if you find the fatigue kicks in to badly, press pause on increasing the hours and take an extra week before adding more hours into the mix, from what I’ve read of your posts, your employer seems reasonable, so hopefully they’ll be ok with a longer phasing in of hours.
I never made it back to full time as I need to take a break midweek, so I only work 4 days, at first I was miffed at myself, but now I’m happy with the balance I have, though I’d like some of my pre stroke endurance back
Whilst it was one heck of a way to give us a wake up call, taking life at a slower pace is enjoyable.
@Mahoney it sure was a heck of a wake up call but I agree taking life slower is enjoyable.
My employer is being fairly reasonable but we have strict rules on phased returns. If i don’t return to full time in 12 weeks my pay will be cut. Whilst short term i could manage longer term it would be an issue. I’m definitely not going to push myself too far though as my health is more important. I’m currently working out figures on how much I can afford to reduce my hours by as I suspect I might have to. If i don’t then nothing lost. I do like the sound of a mid week break though.
I agree ref pre stroke endurance though. Could definitely do with some of that
I’m luckier than u as I’m retired. Since my sister I law went home I try t o do the housework, albeit badly. I try to prepare and cook meals and do washing and ironing but it comes back to aching arms and legs the next day, what used to be relatively quick now seems to take me ages but hey ho I am still alive and enjoying watching my granddaughters grow up. It could all have been so much worse. I try to focus and find something positive every day.keep your chin up x
WOW that was some ‘On the Go Person’ life style I thought I was always on the go but you beat me hands down. I would love to be able to do half the things I used to do. You’re doing really well and should be very pleased with yourself. Keep up the good work but take care of yourself too.
@Loshy Hi Loraine, you still do loads and I admire your stamina although I know you suffer loads too. I make use of hubby to ferry me around and he also does the cooking. I’m usually too shattered by tea time to cook. I think going back to work brought home to me again(I already knew really) that I can’t do as much as I’d like to.
@Suzywong whilst I’ve been off work (26 months in total) I did often think it would be easier if I was 10 years older as I could have taken my work pension. Everything does take much longer post stroke doesn’t it, you’re having a go though so don’t worry about it not being to your usual standard. You’ll get there with that. Like you I know it could have been so much worse and I’m very grateful I’m still able to do things others can’t. Patience and time I guess.
@Susan_Jane when I look back I have no clue how I did it all but I enjoyed it at the time . I think we would all love to be able to do all we could before. Accepting we can’t is a big thing. I have accepted that and am comfortable with it but I think returning to work has just made me realise how far away I am from the person I previously was. I am definitely enjoying the slower pace.
@Mrs5K When I first thought I was ready to go back to work, I thought I’d slot back in to it as previous without much bother as I felt good in myself, I was doing things around the house, exercising (though not to the level I did pre stroke) and managing quite well. It was a wake up call when after 3 hours I was wiped out and had to take a nap when I got home. Using my brain, to read, using the PC and the general having to take onboard and process information was overwhelming to the system, I was shocked I truly was and in reality I’d done very little in those 3 hours.
Like yourself I was concerned we’d have enough to manage longer term if I didn’t return to full time but we made adjustments and we are doing ok, 4 days is my max and I was lucky my employer agreed to me reducing my hours.
I couldn’t agree more, I took my health for granted before, not now though, we need to take all aspects into account.
Hopefully it will all work out and you’ll be able to return to full time in the 12 weeks allotted.
Morning @Mrs5K. I feel very humbled reading this. We are similar ages, had similar strokes and you are achieving so much. I have been able to take my pension through ill health retirement as I couldn’t imagine entering an unfamiliar work place or learning new skills, and could not return to either of my previous NHS jobs. The DWP believe I should be seeking work and as such receive no help other than PIP ( mobility only).
You have shown persistence, resilience, determination and the ability to still see a positive. Fair play to you. I hope this next phase allows you to continue positively. We can only do what we can. All the best, Julia x
Mrs5K. I suppose I am lucky as I am well retired so have no work pressure which is just as well as I would never cope! 6 months past stroke and I am pretty useless. Still staggering round the house with a stick - and not helped by a broken wrist - I am permanently exhausted doing nothing! Friends visit and wear me out, even going out in the car - as a passenger- exhausts me. Like you Ann I was always dashing around pre stroke doing all the usual things and now my poor husband does everything. Oh dear this is turning into a big moan but just at the moment that’s how life feels. Good luck with all you do Ann you’re amazing. Janet
I have so much admiration and respect for anyone who’s suffered a stroke or TIA. We all had the version of our self from before, which may be slightly or radically different now. And we each have our own life contexts which may see similar challenges for one being easier or harder for another.
I reflected on myself - and still do. My TIA saw fatigue and speech my only issues (and a smidge of a fried emotion chip). I’ve not had to entertain a severe impairment or disability like others. For me, I took/made some positives out of my own situation. The root cause of my TIA was super-high blood pressure. Not my life or lifestyle rather just my body (work in progress with Endocrinology).
But for me, I’ve lost weight. Didn’t need to but those Covid pounds were still hanging on. Lost a few whilst in hospital, now they’re all gone. Brings me onto eating less. Wife is an ex-chef and I love to eat! Hospital food portion sizes made me understand my plate at home could be a lot smaller. And it is. Was lazy with the fruit, veg and salad. Not any more. And wasn’t the most active person whereas now I go for a walk every day, with some other exercises mixed in.
So, whilst I didn’t ‘need’ to, I ‘chose’ to make some little changes post-TIA. Lighter, fitter and healthier. I wanted to add those to the fact I’m still here. And you all are too. Parts may be tough, may be hard but YOU are still HERE
@JuliaH i can imagine returning to the NHS would have been far harder than returning to my role. I am hoping I will get there but n4dical pension is a potential avenue for me to explore if I can’t sustain being a work.
As for the DWP…well, what can I say. I know they have to have rules but they do sometimes eeem unfair.
@Apple Hi Janet, i am sure you’re not at all useless. 6 months is still quite early on in stroke recovery. I am 16 months now & still struggle in many ways. My husband still helps a lot but that’s what they’re there for. You will get there just keep going.
@Jonty that’s so true. I always like to find a positive in everything & whilst i still struggle I know it could have been so much worse. We are all on a different but similar journey and we each have our own challenges to overcome. But we are all here to fight another day.
I am so lucky to have been able to take my NHS Pension at 61- it’s not generous (I had mainly worked part time owing to domestic responsibilies and only started it at 40) but together with my husband’s pension we get by. I am sure the DWP would insist that I am fit for work but personally I wouldn’t employ me! Housework, a bit of gardening, and the occasional walk are enough for me. I do enjoy taking the local bus and visiting the library too - I’m going to try travelling a little further on an inter-city bus next week which will probably wipe me out for a week
I hope you manage to get your inter city bus trip next week & that you have a fab time. At least the resulting fatigue will be worth it then. I have the same trouble with fatigue. Never just lasts a day. xxx
. I don’t actually want to go back to that life. I honestly do like the slower pace of life although not sure I like the way I got here 
resting is a part of my day now and I no longer feel guilty for doing so. I would though like to work and be able to live a little around that. Work has got a little easier this last week and I will be increasing my hours a bit after next week to see how I get on.
