I wish I could cry, I have got to the stage now where I am completely numb.
As long as I keep busy I can keep a smiling face, I say the comforting words when he is having a tantrum or a cry. I stand back and let him get on with things when he needs to do it himself, I help when he can’t.
When I am not caring, or not working, or looking after everything I just sit and stare at nothing, I feel nothing. I don’t sleep properly, I don’t eat properly I know I should take better care of myself as there is no one else to look after him but I just don’t care about me any more.
Afternoon Nelly , when was the stroke ? It’s a double whammy for the Survivor and and the main carer it’s great you have come here for support and hopefully folks from both sides will offer support but firstly I’d say talk to a close friend or relative for comfort Our your GP. It will get better this awfull time will pass. I don’t know your details but similar posts to yours I’ve seen before. I’m a SS and know my wife had a tough time but two years on life is getting back to normal . Check your nearest Stroke Support group they have carers meetings where you can find the best support. Rant and rave here this is what this forum is for. Thinking of you and look after yourself
@NellyC sorry you’re feeling that way. Carers do an amazing job & it often gets over looked. You’re just as important & should take time out for yourself too. Maybe some friends could take you out for a bit. Treat yourself to something nice. Perhaps, as @Pds has said you could join a carers group.
@NellyC you are not a failure, your just physically and mentally knackered. my husband was the same after a period of time it get’s better. I still have to nag him to wash and take pride in his appearance, then he reminds me that I am a nagging husband. But it dies get better. I now help to look after him as he has his own health issues. We joke that we are 2 middle age men falling apart , whilst the world is too. We don’t have family close by, get no financial support although I am on ESA benefits gp is rubbish. But still have each other.
Thank you all for your responses. It feels like it has been such a long journey. He had his first stroke about 18 months ago and with support from OT & Physio he made a good recovery (from where he started), he was able to walk a little and do some things for himself; things were looking a little brighter and we started making plans, adapting the house so he could get about. He has now started having mini strokes and keeps losing functionality with each one. All the plans are on hold and everything is just about getting through the day. He tries so hard to be positive but it is impossible for him.
