Hi all, my dad had a stroke in the new year so it’s very early days for us. I’ve been looking after the house and discovered he might be overdrawn. To complicate matters, he’s made a lot of financially unwise decisions for years now, that he was hiding from me. I desperately need to get power of attorney so I can find the correct account and get him back in the black.
But most important I need to keep him mentally supported as he’s feeling really upset in hospital, tired and it’s hard for him to find a comfortable position to sleep with for his numb left side. I want the physio to work miraculously but I know it will take as long as it takes. And I need him to do whatever the POA needs, I don’t want to worry him with financial matters right now and I know he wouldn’t want me to know about his unwise financial decisions he’s made.
Thanks Jane, I feel so helpless that the bank can’t tell me anything. I only just found out about his financial affairs yesterday and am still in shock. I’ve made an appointment to see a solicitor ASAP and will be contacting the CAB and (when/if I can get POA)the small claims court to get back money he’s borrowed to people…! He’s in no position to be fighting his corner financially so I’m going to try to persuade him to let me do that. Thanks for replying, I am devastated but determined. 
Rachael
Thanks Mahoney, I do feel a lot more focused in my approach now. The LPA shouldn’t be a problem, it’s just whether my dad will agree to it…! But I have to persuade him somehow.
It’s very difficult trying to console him when he’s crying over the phone. It is tough and I will try to keep the balance right and stay sane myself!
Thanks again.
Dear Rachel I’m sorry to hear about your father and I hope you will be able to get the right advice to help him.
Please make sure you get your father to sign off on the LPA. I had a similar issue happen with me apart from the financial problems. As soon as I got out of hospital, my family called all my banks and froze my accounts against my will, saying it was in my best interest. I couldn’t speak very well then so I don’t say anything, it was all done under duress. I knew it was illegal because they didn’t get a sign off from me. So when I got stronger I confronted the banks and threatened to report them to the central bank.
Hi joy.alliy,
Thank you for responding, it sounds terrible what happened to you and I’m surprised the banks allowed it… I am resolute now that my dad has to understand that I’m trying to do the right thing in his best interests. I’ve already paid one direct debit that was returned unpaid, currently waiting for more letters to arrive through the post, hopefully not.
It is a fine balance trying to do the right thing and respecting my dad’s wishes, even though he has made some unwise loans to family members, yikes! But my priority is to keep his account in the black and get some money paid back, which I know he wants. And of course for him to not have to worry about finances and focus on his physio and getting back home.
It’s going to be a slow process in every sense but I’m confident we’ll get there and dad will be back to a new normal.
Thanks and I hope you managed to get your financial affairs back within your control.
Rachael