Power of attorney urgently needed as dad may be overdrawn and in a financial pickle

Hi all, my dad had a stroke in the new year so it’s very early days for us. I’ve been looking after the house and discovered he might be overdrawn. To complicate matters, he’s made a lot of financially unwise decisions for years now, that he was hiding from me. I desperately need to get power of attorney so I can find the correct account and get him back in the black.
But most important I need to keep him mentally supported as he’s feeling really upset in hospital, tired and it’s hard for him to find a comfortable position to sleep with for his numb left side. I want the physio to work miraculously but I know it will take as long as it takes. And I need him to do whatever the POA needs, I don’t want to worry him with financial matters right now and I know he wouldn’t want me to know about his unwise financial decisions he’s made.

Hi, this is such a tricky one for you. The only thing I can suggest is contact citizens advice and see what help they can give you, I really don,t know the answer to this one, but thought I would reply to say am thinking of you. Also try contacting the Stroke Association, they may have other people they could put you in touch with. Sorry can’t be of any more help. Hopefully someone else on this site may be able to help you. Take care, Jane,

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Thanks Jane, I feel so helpless that the bank can’t tell me anything. I only just found out about his financial affairs yesterday and am still in shock. I’ve made an appointment to see a solicitor ASAP and will be contacting the CAB and (when/if I can get POA)the small claims court to get back money he’s borrowed to people…! He’s in no position to be fighting his corner financially so I’m going to try to persuade him to let me do that. Thanks for replying, I am devastated but determined. :slight_smile:
Rachael

Hi @Rach1, welcome to the community and sorry to hear about your dad’s stroke and financial issues.

It sounds like you’re doing all the right things eg speaking to a solicitor and CAB. From what I understand to get LPA (the new name for POA) your dad has to have mental capacity to be able to sign the paperwork, if he doesn’t you’ll have to apply for deputyship, which unfortunately is a little more expensive. From what I understand both of these have to be registered and that’s what takes time, though I’m no legal expert, so that’s why I think you’re doing the correct thing by obtaining legal advice on the situation.

With regards to the stroke, as you rightly say it’s early days and time and physio should help with his rehabilitation. It’s normal to feel a little down and fatigued following a stroke, his brain has suffered an injury and is working hard to repair/work around the damaged area.

Don’t forget to look after yourself too, I’ll appreciate you’re worried about your dad, but your own self care is important too, your dad will need your strength and support.

Wishing you both all the very best, stay strong and take care

Thanks Mahoney, I do feel a lot more focused in my approach now. The LPA shouldn’t be a problem, it’s just whether my dad will agree to it…! But I have to persuade him somehow.
It’s very difficult trying to console him when he’s crying over the phone. It is tough and I will try to keep the balance right and stay sane myself!
Thanks again.

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Dear Rachel I’m sorry to hear about your father and I hope you will be able to get the right advice to help him.

Please make sure you get your father to sign off on the LPA. I had a similar issue happen with me apart from the financial problems. As soon as I got out of hospital, my family called all my banks and froze my accounts against my will, saying it was in my best interest. I couldn’t speak very well then so I don’t say anything, it was all done under duress. I knew it was illegal because they didn’t get a sign off from me. So when I got stronger I confronted the banks and threatened to report them to the central bank.

Hi joy.alliy,
Thank you for responding, it sounds terrible what happened to you and I’m surprised the banks allowed it… I am resolute now that my dad has to understand that I’m trying to do the right thing in his best interests. I’ve already paid one direct debit that was returned unpaid, currently waiting for more letters to arrive through the post, hopefully not.

It is a fine balance trying to do the right thing and respecting my dad’s wishes, even though he has made some unwise loans to family members, yikes! But my priority is to keep his account in the black and get some money paid back, which I know he wants. And of course for him to not have to worry about finances and focus on his physio and getting back home.

It’s going to be a slow process in every sense but I’m confident we’ll get there and dad will be back to a new normal.

Thanks and I hope you managed to get your financial affairs back within your control.

Rachael