I’ve got a few questions for the collective wisdom of the community on this forum:
How do you distinguish paranoia from a justified feeling of something untowards?
Has the feeling that there is something untoward been a post stroke factor?
How do you deal with it either as an imagined phenomena or as an unpleasant fact?
But is it the ‘oh you’re just being paranoid’ type or is it the true paranoia, because that’s a whole different phenomena!
Basically, you talk about it, analyse, dissect it, be shown for what it really is. Each and every time it rears its ugly head. Until your brain gets the message and accepts it for what it is.
Or is it Anxiety bordering on paranoia?
Personally, I would speak to your doctor, get an expert diagnosis of what it and get appropriate counselling.
I don’t know the answer but I think it is easy to feel paranoid when we feel a bit vulnerable but also when things are said in message form rather than a face to face conversation it is easy to take it out of context.
I just try & tell myself that i’m not that important in most people’s lives to think that they’re either talking about me or having a dig at me. That’s just how I deal with it. It doesn’t always work…a few weeks ago i was extremely paranoid but that has passed now.
I agree with @EmeraldEyes if it’s something that is an issue for someone, perceived or real, then a chat with a dr is the way to go.
I believe there is a hierarchy of nomenclature:
1st is awareness and readiness.
2nd Is concern
3rd is anxiety
4th is Paranoia…the ultimate.
3 and 4 are bad for your health and can make things worse (say blood pressure).
Today, I have concern: My spasticity has suddenly increased today and I am concerned about a possible TIA. So I am making an appt. with my doctor. I’ll try to remain calm and I am taking steps to resolve the problem. I want to avoid 3 and 4.
Granted: not always easy.
I was on a parallel course to you, Derek.
But I have also had some good days this week. Now pharmacy has not produced my bp meds, saying surgery lost our prescription. Every time they mess up. For that reason we gave them a whole 10 days… to screw up. Anyway, pharmacy paranoia must be common.
I’m stiffer than ever… but I had a breakthrough (another 600 steps) but this time, on locked-glute day, Wed. Thu went to Gymn and Fri had physio. I think the trick to success is to really exaggerate the milestones we achieve, and trick ourselves into believing we are improving… then by the sheer force of desire, we do improve. I was so encouraged by Wed, and I really made the most of that glorious achievement saying “this promises so much for the future”… never mind that next day I was in tears, because I have fallen so low.
Anyway, good luck Derek, hope you find a solution soon. It’s tough as hell. But we will prevail, God willing. Ciao, Roland
They are one and the same, Simon The point is they both wind us up, and we must find a positive way out. A loophole, if you like, that will bypass the problem, and allow ourselves to keep breathing. I observe my wife get out of sticky situations (vs. pushy parents of her students) so artfully, so effortlessly, that everyone keeps smiling. She must know something they don’t, I tell myself. I imagine paranoia is common to post-stroke folks. I give up any confrontation… the day I have strength to fight, I will have healed. I’m a bit more cheeky than I used to be, that’s all.
If you can distract yourself, so that you don’t go down a dead end, perhaps you can see the lighter side… yes, avoiding the problem… even not care about it, until it loses its power against you. Change the subject. Come back to it in a week, if you must, but give yourself a break. Especially if it’s something sinister directed at you.
I might not know the precise details of what’s going on, but I would think you’re pretty exhausted; you’ve had a rough time, and it’s time to settle down.
I admire you
Not in the same league as you guys but the surgery experience seems to be normal. Cock-a hoop when I achieved getting on infrequent bus to market town , walking to surgery to be told not ready until following day ok had enough for another day , then start thinking “ what if I had run out” calmed myself . Thank goodness for NHS. We are so lucky. But it does raise your blood pressure at times. Paul
Roland, I’m so glad you had that “Good” Wednesday. Those kind of days must stick in your mind and milestones like that should overshadow those tough days.
I’m sorry about your prescription woes. Here, I have no problems getting my meds on time. You say you are stiffer than ever…is that the textbook “spasticity” ?
We have to be careful, the other day I was down and tearful (a lot of anger as well) and this can really raise the blood pressure. The crying is needed and cathartic, but the anger is something NOT to hang onto. I often speak of mindfulness and personally I also depend on prayer. I have my therapist in the heavens to hear my side of the struggle. Helps a lot.
I wish you luck as well Roland.
that’s what’s causing stress, sleep disruption. BP, muscle tightness &c.
That’s why I asked about distinguishing
The impact is the same - the management of the solution is not.
I find it really difficult to work out which feelings are a natural, logical result of something horrid haveing happened to me, leaving some residual effects and a fear of it happening again, and which are the result of my brain’s wiring having gone wonky. It would be rather fascinating to study if it wasn’t such a pain in the neck.
Do I concentrate on my breathing and say the Rosary or do I contact NHS111 immediately?
It’s probably a good idea to talk it over with someone and to err on the side of caution if you are worried
Well, why allow someone else to stress you out, Simon?
If they are stopping you from laughing and having good time, then ask yourself is it not you who are doing this to yourself? I’m sure your instinct will guide you. Just don’t allow anyone to have power over you. And they won’t. The world is full of badness and evil people. We cannot help that. Stuff them, and carry on with the wonderful comments and replies you contribute to this site, and all the people who are in need of help in any shape or form. I’m sure you will figure out some strategies or try some different solutions.
For sure I cannot distinguish between the two / I really don’t know the details. Plus I have so much to do looking after myself, I don’t have much excess to give to this site. All I know is that you make a massive contribution, and you must have helped countless patients. Even if (once in a blue moon) you give an answer that does not help… the fact that you give an answer is showing to the world that you are trying to help. That’s all we need, Simon, to know someone is out there who does care a damn. That’s half the battle.
Good luck with this predicament. I’m sure it’s far more complex than I realize, but I want to make it clear ; I am unsettled if you are, but, ultimately we must move on.
ciao dear friend, Roland
Anger is not good for high blood pressure.
It can be very, very hard to let go of anger in a moment of rage. I know this all too well.
Life is hard.
I wish you all the best in your daily struggles. I give you my upmost sympathy.
Sunnier days will come somehow. Just keep your head up and go forward.
Thanks much Matthew. I sometimes take that anger out on the weight machine.
How can anyone who’s had a stroke not feel angry from time to time? I find getting angry, occasionally, quite cathartic. It certainly doesn’t help to bottle it up.
Simon, personally I would consider taking a break from here for a while. Maybe keep the Thursday Zoom going (as it is completely independent?).
I have been really busy at work for the last couple of weeks (with no let up for next week) and I keep telling myself to not come and see what’s going on here, so I can just relax when not working. However, just as social media (which I don’t really participate in) this forum keeps nagging away at you so you want to check how everyone is doing…and to be honest it is draining! The forum has almost got too good with the help and advice from people like yourself …but we all need to remind ourselves of two things, the forum will carry on without us, obsessing about it is not good for our health!
Sometimes the written word can be misconstrued so that’s why I thought (& find) the Zoom chats are so good as an additional (or temporary replacement) for the forum to have a break without missing out on some of the camaraderie of the lovely people on here.
That’s enough garbage from me but please remember that the overwhelming majority of people on here really value your interactions on here and appreciate the huge time and effort you put in. Remember though that you need to make sure you don’t damage your health so…breathe…and step away .
Just my very opinionated opinion.
Amazing post, Mark
It really applies to me, too. We need to hold on to our energy for ourselves, too. I think Simon has a vocation for helping others, and he’s happy doing so. Even so, it’s good to step back and just double check we’re living in the real world where we belong… our local world.
Have a great Sunday, ciao, Roland
Mark: my goodness, this is what I was thinking about last night. I always have to check in to see what is going on here. It reminds me of some people who use facebook (I do not). It grabs hold of a lot of your time…but don’t get me wrong the site is a Godsend to us all and we often need to check in, but not obsess. There are times I just want to forget about this horrible thing that has happened to us and take a break from it, stop thinking about the struggle, the fight, strategies to get better.
A vacation, a holiday, a good idea at times?