its been weeks and weeks and have increased meds to stop them yet tonight a attack brought on by stress !!! 
some days i just want to SCREAM !!! well i do in my head , and my anger is so high i just flip at the smallest things at the min and now only have 3 plates left in my cupboard !!! i could cry i so wish i could tun back the waves of time .
and if anybody tells me i am milking it after my stroke etc. etc. I will swing for them belive me . and yes i know tomorrow will be a different day . SORRY just need to vent tonight !!
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@Moonie66 if you want to cry then go for it. It might just help. I had a full on sob last weekend & felt so much better for it afterwards.
Hope tomorrow is less stressful for you x
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its been a hard week as walked away from my job aswell !! a job i loved but know i cant do it now days !!
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Shiit! Sorry to hear you walked away from the job that’s a bummer
When you’re feeling a bit better go on the ebay and buy some cheap 2nd hand plates that are fodder for breaking when you need to ! 
In the meantime rant away as you need to.
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LOL my plates were cheap amazon ones !!! maybe set up a monthly subscription ?? 
sat here with tears in my eyes tonight but i WONT Break !!! i will FIGHTBACK just like i always have , anyway thanks for your support buddy 
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Sorry to hear you’ve had to leave your job. Life sucks sometimes. Use the time to focus on you & your recovery now. When you’re ready you could try work again but that’s for future.
Take care.
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ive gone from a highly technical job building military stuff to wanting to work with animals or homeless people !!! how strange is that !!! you know what i mean … something that touches my heart .
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my song i play all the time and great words !!!
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Sorry to hear about your job, it’s great you are thinking of other avenues to explore though they sound like they would be very rewarding too👍
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Then that should be your focus now, and a good place for you to start initially is maybe an animal sanctuary. It would calm you down, lower your blood pressure and divert your attention away from giving up what you loved. It’s with new people who have no reference to the old you to judge you by, they will accept the man you are now. And tomorrow is just the day to start looking into that…regardless of how you feel in the morning because this will help push you through it.
I was going to suggest buying plastic plates in future but really, sometimes there’s just nothing more satisfying than smashing something. Might I suggest you buy a shed load of cheap plates to keep outside for just a day as this 
And wow, I loved that song, think that’s one to pass onto my son too:smile:
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hi EmeraldEyes yes defo will look tomorrow as know losing it is not good !!! i will also have a chat with my doc to check my meds as i know she did say that the first 2/3 weeks can be hard mentally !! and i can go to some dark places . anyway i will bounce back as ever just takes a bit more time now days . and glad you liked the song i heard it on Spotify just surfing one day and was like …WOW amazing lyrics :heart eyes: we could do with a music share page on here as i bet we all have some amazing tracks to share
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Actually there is a music share post @Bobbi set up last March, here’s the link:
Good idea to see your doc as your moods could by triggered by things like blood pressure, blood sugar even
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Hi @Moonie66, sorry to hear you’re not in a good place and that you had to give up the job you loved.
I’ve been a bit sporadic on the forum lately so haven’t kept up with your story but I noted you were mentioning meds for anxiety/depression (I think). I had really bad anxiety several months after my stroke and was desperate for any help I could get. I did a couple of CBT courses (which were useful to understand ways to help, but weren’t going to help when things were already at bad levels). I always had a very negative opinion of any kind of antidepressants but got so desperate that I spoke to my GP who was fantastic.
Long story short, I’ve now been on sertraline for over a year and it has really helped me. Not sure what you’re taking but the point of this reply is to say that for about 4-6 weeks after starting taking it, I got a lot worse before it started improving.
…so I have a huge amount of sympathy for you and I think, bizarrely, that these type of drugs often have this effect of making things worse before you get the benefit.
I really hope you start to feel some improvement soon.
All the best.
Mark
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Hi Mark
i am on Propranolol 10mg tablets x 9 per day i.e. 3 in the morning 3 in the afternoon and 3 at night i also take Mirtazapine 15mg tablet at night the last tablet I’ve been on for 3 weeks roughly and yes my head has been all over the place and i so hope its true that it gets better the longer i am on them , I’ve always suffered from stress/anxiety but nothing like this after my stroke in January !!!
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And even the experts don’t yet know why antidepressants take 6 weeks to work or why the symptoms have to get worse before they get better, just that they do. Such is the complexity of our brains 
Maybe they’re still just too camera shy to completely expose themselves
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You don’t drink alcohol do you? Because that can counteract benefits of your antidepressant. Not only can it increase depression and anxiety, it can also make any side effects you may be experiencing worse.
And the only reason I know all this is because my hubby was on them about 10yrs ago, work related stress. Thankfully that’s well in the past now
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Please this I have found is normal I am learning more each day unless you have been through it no one has any idea the best thing I did was seek free online counselling only towards the end am I beginning to understand
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What you are feeling is normal. You suffered a most traumatic event.
My mother recovered physically from her stroke, but she never recovered emotionally. We were told she had PTSD on top of everything. We tried everything under the sun to calm her down, but she was wired 24/7 - pacing at night, crying, bickering, confused, preseveration over temperature, etc. She was a mess, and only got worse over time.
I’m not saying the above to discourage you in any way. I am just talking about the reality of strokes for some people. It can be very hard to recover mentally, but you can. Here’s why? Unlike my mother, you know there is a problem, as you’re self-aware. My mother had no self-awareness about her actual state. She was only acutely aware of others’ behaviors, etc. It was very strange. She coulldn’t be helped, but that’s another story. It eats at me every day, but it is what it was. She’s at peace, thank god.
May I suggest Qigong? Just very easy movements. If you can’t, just think the movements without performing them.
You can get better somehow. I know it in my heart. Things may never be the same again, but you can always improve and change your mindset. It’s hard…it’s very hard. I know many of you want to throw in the towel at any moment, but you have to keep on going. Don’t be like my mother. Please.
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Thank you for this I am getting better mentally every day
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