Has anyone else? I have, and it was sooooooooo tough. Frightening too, as I awoke from coma completely paralysed and unable to talk at only 28! Have had many other issues, both mental and physical. Am almost 30 years on from stroke now, but still hate how life was ruined. Have done lots of voluntary work, courses and am still a lifelong poet. Started writing poetry at 9. Sorry, nothing seems to replace my feelings of self worth, because I was a legal assistant. Am full of respect for my peers. Lots of love Carole x
I understand how you feel Carole, I used to work in property law before the stroke and now I feel worthless, inadequate and a waste of time . Glad to hear about your continuing love of poetry, why don’t you share some on the forum?
I never had total paralysis it sounds frightening, it’s brave of you to post your experience.
Thank you so much for that Martin. Jeez, property law wow! I worked in intellectual property, though covered every aspect of the law from matrimonial, company, corporate and business. Hard to believe now! Will post a poem soon, write daily and have provided lyrics for worldwide musicians, 7 CDs now but nobody famous haha! Indeed, complete paralysis was terrifying, and will never forget being strapped into a tilting table etc. Carole x
A tilting table? That sounds like an instrument of torture, I bet that’s what it felt like. You must have written marvellous lyrics for them to be recorded, do you play yourself? I used to play bass but my hands were weakened by the stroke so now can’t play or handwrite:( look forward to the poetry,
Yeah Martin, was strapped into that damn tilting table TO GET THE CIRCULATION GOING! Was actually for my own good, but was beyond terrifying as I was so helpless and couldn’t talk! Thankfully, had loads of physios around me! Don’t play any instruments now though played guitar when I was younger. Bass? Impressive. Shame you can’t play now. Have attached a poem. Rock on. Carole x
Maura shared a flat with three
Friends. All at university and
Aged between 18 and 24 years.
Shared many laughs and tears.
Were all there for one another.
Had a rota for housework. On
Washing days, they took turns
Due to one or two being away
On holiday or late at class and
So on. They all loved lathering
Their clothes again. Wayhay!
Flat was like a Chinese Laundry!
With tops hanging from every
Door handle! Knickers and socks
On each of the radiators! All
Other clothes dried in the linen
Cupboard. Place always
Smelled lovely with the pretty
Floral scents their clothes had
Been washed in. Great to be
Back! Odours of lavender,
Heather and, of course, lilac!
What a lovely poetry. thanks for sharing.
and your pains are far too much painful.
God bless you x
I deeply apologise if I have upset you by making you relive that episode in your recovery, it’s my ignorance. I was told to keep moving around, not easy , but that is the idea after all. Love the poem, reminds me of my days at university, never thought I’d end up like this, but who does?
Keep posting the poems, it is good for all, especially if they are all that good!
Thank you Nadya and Martin. No, I remember that all the time, was nothing to do with you, truly appreciate that. Swear I have PTSD, as keep reliving that and cry. Not as bad as I was. Am not suicidal now, thank God. Use a walker now, and am virtually independent. Seems like am talking about someone else now! Cheers re poetry too, has always been my friend and ‘go to’ when I am down. Carole x
@Spacer Hi Carole, your experience sounds terrible but you seem to have come on a long way.
Your poem is great. I am new to poetry as only taken to it post stroke. Have found it a good way to express my feelings. Quite therapeutic.
Wishing you all the best.
Shwmae @Spacer, I enjoyed your poem, diolch for sharing. Before stroke, I was not much of a get up and go person, but since stroke have really felt my world shrink, but my inner world is still at large. I think it terribly hard when the choice is taken away, some people choose to change their lifestyle, others, like ourselves do not. It’s not so much the change in lifestyle but having that freedom of choice taken away, in essence, our autonomy. If there are five things I would like to do in a day, I know that it’s probable I may only achieve one or two of those things, but there is always the next day.
Thirty years on is great going, and your vigilance and survival instinct is a source of inspiration. It’s odd that you should use the word ruined, in light of the fact that I consider myself now to be as a crumbling castle. There are many magnificent ruins and follies. Keep up your spirits and writing poetry
Thanks so much Ann. Yes, it has been really awful. Many thanks also re poem. Have written since I was 9 and, indeed, it IS very therapeutic - agree with you. Many thanks and keep well. Carole x
Rups, truly appreciate your message. Indeed, I really miss being able bodied, as am sure many do. Awful not being able to do what you could. Never thought of my life being a crumbling castle, love that - nice one! Think I will use that now, if you don’t mind! Thank you re my spirits and poetry. Appreciate that and same to you. Carole x
@Spacer it sounds awful the table bit!
I always feel shredded as in paper sometimes, I’m 3 steps forward and 2 back.
I’m always emotional these days don’t know if it’s the after stroke or my hormones, sometimes I think my hubby thinks I’m as nutty as a fruit cake
Your poem is lovely I can almost smell the drying washing and lilac thank you for sharing.
Keep going kindest regards Loraine
Thanks a lot Lorraine. Indeed,the tilting table was incredibly frightening. Am much more emotional now too. You are lucky your husband stood by you. Mine fked off whilst I was in hospital. I was crushed inside. Thank God for my friends.
Many thanks for liking my poem too. Am so glad you found pleasure from my words. Relish the good days. Best wishes Carole x
Spacer, how amazing to write lyrics for musicians and produce CDs: one talented lady - and a poet. To achieve so much after such earth-shattering seizures.
Hi there, I’m confused about this website but I was really inspired by your post! I feel my life is ruined by the stroke but this fate is not the end of me! I rise, I rise, somehow I rise (!) -to quote a poem !
What a story carol written in verse 30 years does seem a long time however some brave souls take a lifetime to get a good quality of life. We are all on different paths so while some take a very long time others are back and operating in a short amount of time. Rember tread your own path