Off moment ☹️

[Mahoney]

I’m having an off moment, I feel so sad

I should feel good, my daughter and grandson have just left after a visit but instead of feeling lifted, I feel down. I can’t put my finger on why… it feels like loneliness, I feel a little abandoned, a little left behind even though I’m not technically alone in the house, hubby is upstairs watching football

Usually I’d have gone with them for the day, they were off clothes shopping for an upcoming holiday but I’m still resting following a day at work yesterday.

These heightened emotions following the stroke can be hard to deal with. I need to do something but don’t have the energy at the moment, a vicious circle.

I can’t even distract myself with eating, I used to be an emotional eater a nice cup of tea with a biscuit (or four) would ‘solve’ most things (not really, I know this) but I haven’t ate a biscuit since the stroke, reducing saturated fats, healthy eating etc and a carrot stick just won’t ‘cut it’

The logical side of my thinking knows the feeling will pass.

So what to do, listen to music, read, watch TV, try some meditation, so many choices.

Best wishes

[l_platt]

Mahoney, just read your post. I will share with you an update on my situation. Yesterday we went to the airport with my daughter who was returning to Dubai. She returned to us a little later having been turned back from the flight which was full!! She is very lively and excitable and our peace has been shattered. For two old fogeys who are used to quiet it was a shock We are now waiting to go to Manchester airport this evening to try again. Enjoy your quiet time. Lilian

[Mrs5K]

@Mahoney i think your feelings are natural when a busy house becomes a little emptier even if it is just temporary busyness. I often feel a little lonely when visitors leave even though having them tires me out. I think some of it is about missing out on things I used to do with them.
I too have given up biscuits (cutting out saturated fats too) & carrot sticks really aren’t the same
I usually console myself with a much needed nap after visitors. Whatever you decided to do I hope it worked
Best wishes xx

[Pds]

Hi Mahoney suffer like that now and again, can return from a trip out when it can happen and think Mrs5k hit nail on head when she said it’s still coming to terms with what we can longer do. This acceptance pill is large and bitter to swallow . I find that coming on this site and reading posts and making a reply helps sometimes but important to time myself Pds

[John_Jeff_Maynard]

We all get these moments. Fortunately, my great salvation is cooking. I find classical music helps and remembering there are many worse off. Hope you cheer up soon.

[Mahoney]

Hi Lilian, it must have been lovely seeing your daughter, even if her stay was extended a little unexpectedly, you too enjoy your quiet time, once you have it back

[Mahoney]

@Mrs5K I actually had a good cry, the mixture of emotions I was feeling needed a release.

I felt much better after the cry, not that I intended to cry, but hey ho. After that I went out into the garden and pottered about, it was cold but quite lovely in the sun.

All’s good now, as you say it was temporary

Take care, best wishes

[Mahoney]

Thanks @Pds I think I’ve got a handle on it, the acceptance, then wham something knocks me out to whack, guess I’m still trying to swallow that pill

Best wishes

[janella69]

That’s the same as me. I call it feeling sorry for myself .I put Netflix on and watch silly movies.

[Mahoney]

@John_Jeff_Maynard I’m feeling much better now thanks,

Music, yes there’s always something to fit the mood, happy, sad or uplifting and powerful, where would we be without music. I like to cook too, I used to bake but there’s no one to eat the results now, so I cook other things (soups, bolognaise, chilli, stews etc) and freeze them, my version of ready meals, though much healthier than takeaway or shop bought, as I know what ingredients have gone into it

Best wishes

[Mahoney]

@janella69 I was having a self pity moment, feeling a little sorry for myself, all good now though

Take care

[axnr911]

Hi Mahoney–My daughter and family were over last night. When they left, the house felt empty and quiet(even though my beloved husband is here). What do I do? I put on a super funny comedy on the TV. It made us laugh out loud for 30 minutes. Felt better after that. Jeanne

[Mrs5K]

@Mahoney glad you’re feeling brighter after a good cry. I often find myself crying these days. Had a blub just listening to a song it’s good to let it out
It was lovely in the sun here today too.
Enjoy your weekend
Ann x

[JuliaH]

Morning @Mahoney. Hope today feels brighter for you. Glad it sounded like it passed. I find I cry regularly but if I distract myself it passes much more quickly than before, it’s almost like I turn a page and it stops. My go to’s are checking on my seedlings, watering my houseplants, doing my paint by numbers( thank you @Loshy ). I had no idea around being more emotional as a result of stroke til I joined the forum but it’s good to know I’m not alone. Enjoy your Sunday, Julia x

[Ingo66]

Hi @Mahoney , I’m having a lazy morning and thought I’d catch up on the forum. Glad you’ve got over your down spell and hope the sunshine makes you feel good today.
We can’t always be in an upbeat mood but hopefully knowing people are here for you when you’re down is some help.
Sending happy thoughts and a robot because I love them! .

[l_platt]

Hi Mahoney. My daughter eventually got her flight at Manchester. It was apparently very chaotic there. She was six hours at the airport before her plane took off. I had a good cry for a couple of hours and only stopped when I watched a repeat of two episodes of “Gavin and Stacey” to recover. I hope you are feeling better today.Love Lilian

[Mahoney]

@JuliaH thanks Julia I’m feeling good today , I’m pleased you’re enjoying your painting by numbers and gardening, we definitely need a ‘go to’ for distraction but also to for enjoyment

@Ingo66 enjoy that lazy morning I’m pleased I found this forum too, the people are wonderful, kind and thoughtful thanks for the happy thoughts and the robot can it do housework? That would be handy.

@l_platt Hi Lilian pleased to hear your daughter got off safely, though 6 hours in the airport that’s a long time to hang around. I haven’t watched Gavin and Stacey but It’s good to know it did the trick for you

Big hugs to you all, and everyone else that cheered me up, thanks for being there for me

[Rups]

Shwmae @Mahoney, I hope the feeling has now passed. Carrots sticks are no substitute for a scrumptious biscuit, however, I turn to a good old juicy apple, or fruit & nut mix. Having slumps seems to be a part of the cycle of recovery, motivation particularly. I never really found a solution for it but to weather the flat mood, and plan for the next day (usually late to rise and early to bed for me).

[Mahoney]

@Rups yes the feeling has passed, as you say slumps are par for the course, I prefer a pear to an apple, though I do like the good ole apple.

For the comfort factor the fruit and nut mix seems more indulgent.

Thanks for checking in, much appreciated

[Blodwyn]

It’s adapting to your new lifestyle, you don’t realise until after an event that you & your life has changed.
It hit me the same on Friday. I was at work & not until I got home home did I realise just how tired I was & realised that it was the dreaded lethargy, as I hadn’t suffered it for some time. After a lazyish afternoon I was OK the next day, just a bit tired. It’s amazing how it feelings etc creep up on you - I’m still learning to accept this 27 months after my stroke.
Acceptance is one of the hardest things to deal with.