My mum has passed away after a massive stroke

Mum had a stroke early in the morning on Christmas Day. She was rushed to a&e and we were told it was a severe stroke. After being moved to the stroke until, we visited her daily and read to her. Initially, she was responsive and move her right leg but as the days went on, she became more sleepy and not response. In the last few days, she was struggling to breathe and we had to make the heartbreaking decision to put her on to palliative are as too much of her brain had died. We knew that is what mum would have wanted but we then spent the next couple of days and nights watching her. She passed away today and I feel numb.

Please accept my deepest sympathy. On this site we are aware that stroke can be a killer. When I had mine I thought that was the end of me, but I was lucky enough to recover. I now bless every day extra of life I have.

Hi Lstuart,

I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, but please do know we are all here to support you and help you through.

You may also find some further support from the stroke helpline - their number is 0303 3033 100.

Take care

Vicki  

Dear Stuart

So sorry to hear of your tragic news. But thank you for posting here. Just like John, I really thought I was going to pass away. So many of us do not survive. 

Stuart, you did exactly the right thing. Palliative care need not be terminal so it was perhaps a better place than the stroke unit. You sat with her so she knew she was not alone. The Palliative care nurses would have ensured she did not suffer. And in any case there isnt much pain with a stroke, maybe a lot of pain when recovering, but the actual stroke is brain only and the brain does not feel pain.

I have only small amounts of damage, but quite honestly I often wish I had not awoken. With more severe damage the quality of life would be very poor. Mum would not be the same person, just as I am not the same [person, and most of us likewise. The stroke got me just before Christmas and now every Christmas and every New year is "stroke related".

Bless you and your family

Colin

 

My deepest sympathy to you and your family.  Losing a parent is hard at any time of the year but especially so at Christmas.  As stroke survivors, we are also deeply aware of how Strokes affect the carers too.  Take care of yourself.

I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear mum. As someone has already said it is especially hard at this time of year for you all. I know from personal experience how difficult as a family it is to make the decision of palliative care, but in the days, weeks and months to come you will come to terms with it and know it was what mum would have wished.

Take good care, we are all here to help if we can.

Ann

Hi very sorry about the loss of your mum, no words any of us can say will make you feel better but you have said yourself that "mum would not have wanted to live that way" and you know you have done the right thing.  I have told my children that I would not want to live if I was unable to do anything.  It is something many people do not talk about but we should, so that our loved ones do not have to make this type of decision themselves.

All our thoughts are with you at this sad time.  Wendy

Hi, im so sorry to hear this.  My heart goes out to you and your family . When i first read what you wrote i just cried because like everyone else on here we truly understand the effect stroke has on the nearest and dearest,  words may not make things better at this moment but We are all here for you.  Take care x 

So sad to hear the news about your Mum, you have been very courageous in carrying out her wishes, that will ultimately be a comfort to you.  You must hang on to all the good memories, including your support for her throughout, which will have reassured her during those last sad days.  Take care. 

Bless xxx

So sorry for your loss

You have posted in the wrong place I think

 

Thank you, I had forgot I left this message, all a blur the day mum passed. We had her funeral a couple of weeks ago and gave her a good send off. I first registered on this site when mum first had the stroke. As it was such a severe stroke, the first week was all about seeing if she would pull through. Mum was responsive in the first couple of days but never able to communicate apart from eye movements but then went down hill. She was a strong lady and we are missing being told what to do. The nurses in the stroke unit were amazing at making mums last days comfortable. I was living with dad until after the funeral but now back at work. Still can’t believe what has happened but when the doctor said over half mum’s brain had died, we knew she would not recover. It has made me very aware about symptoms of stroke. Next Christmas will be hard as it happened on Christmas Day and she died on 2nd Jan. Think next year, we will take dad away so we are not in the house as too many memories. 

 

Thank you for all your messages, I had forgot I left this message, all a blur the day mum passed. We had her funeral a couple of weeks ago and gave her a good send off. I first registered on this site when mum first had the stroke. As it was such a severe stroke, the first week was all about seeing if she would pull through. Mum was responsive in the first couple of days but never able to communicate apart from eye movements but then went down hill. She was a strong lady and we are missing being told what to do. The nurses in the stroke unit were amazing at making mums last days comfortable. I was living with dad until after the funeral but now back at work. Still can’t believe what has happened but when the doctor said over half mum’s brain had , we knew she would not recover. It has made me very aware about symptoms of stroke. Next Christmas will be hard as it happened on Christmas Day and she on 2nd Jan. Think next year, we will take dad away so we are not in the house as too many memories. 

What a lovely idea to take your Dad away for Christmas next year. Birthdays, holiday times, anniversaries are all special times for people who’ve been bereaved and that includes yourself. Thank you for updating us. Veronica and John