Mum had major stroke Aug 2021

I too had quite a change in my taste initially, which I think was partly down to a partially numb tongue and mouth. It has almost returned to normal now (a year after stroke) but still have some numbness in mouth and lips (which means I end up with food round my mouth) :rofl:

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@JJ11 I agree with @Mahoney they should be offering your mum some other form of feeding. I really feel for you all. Its an awful situation to be in. With my dad we used to take him a selection of things & ask him which one he wanted. These were things like Yoghurt, jelly, trifle that sort of thing. As @Bobbi says at this stage it’s about getting food in & not worrying what it is. I’m sure you’ve tried things like fruit shakes or hot chocolate but that may be a way of getting something down.
I know your mum has a bad bed sore but can you still try getting her out of bed. Standing her on something like a patient turner for a couple mins might help?
It’s really down to the medical professionals to help her. Failing anything soon from them then I suggest you call 999 & get them to take her to hospital where they will have to do something.
Very best of luck xxx

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@Bobbi I too found food tasted different. I also found coffee tasted vile & others things just tasted odd. My taste did come back although it’s not quite the same. Took me ages to work out why things tasted odd - never even thought it could be my stroke :rofl:

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@JJ11
Im glad she is communicating. I could be wrong but I think her refusing to ‘co-operate’ is an attempt to refuse to acknowledge the huge blow that a stroke is. By not eating, not drinking, not getting up, she is, perhaps, warding off having to face the stroke and its effects. If she can begin in some small way to begin to live again she will start to advance.

Incidentally, looking at this from a different angle, I was friendly with another patient while I was in hospital. He struck me as a lazy individual not willing to make any effort and sleeping a lot of the time.
It turns out I was mis-judging him. It seems one symptom of a stroke is exhaustion. Could that be what ails your mother? I don’t know what, if any, treatment that requires. Maybe it is worth looking into?

(see link in next post)

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@JJ11

This might be of interest:

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Hi peeps.
Mum passed away dinnertime today.

I’m not going anywhere, I’m sure i’ll need you soon enough. Xx

@JJ11 oh, I am.so sorry to hear this. Sending condolences to you & your family at this very sad time. Look after yourself. Love and hugs to you :bouquet::bouquet::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: xxxx

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Really sorry to hear that. Remember we are here if you want to talk.

sincere condolences.
Mark.

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So sorry to hear this @JJ11 , sending sympathy and strength to you, your Sister and family x

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Shwmae @JJ11, many condolences, I wish you the best possible grieving space and a way forward. May her passing return many glorious memories for you to help path your own way forward in this life that you can then pass on to others. :grinning:

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I’m so sorry @JJ11. May she find peace, and know that you and your sister did all you possibly could for her. Try and get some rest once the necessary arrangements are done. Really heartfelt condolences, Julia x

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Hi, sorry things are so hard for you all. I’m 83, had a stroke a year ago so understand how difficult things are. My husband had ever increasing cancer nasties over a period of 10 years and when he finally became bedridden developed terrible bed sores. I googled solutions as nothing useful came from the medical team. I had been using medical grade Manuka honey for a few years, orally for simple bacterial infections, whether mouth or skin, with good outcomes . I saw that a main hospital in Birmingham was using Manuka successfully as a treatment for sores (especially on older people) which were not responding to traditional treatment. So I fairly lavishly put Manuka on my husband’s 2 sores, with sterile covers. It was messy but effective. At the same time I ordered a tube of medical grade Manuka cream and special Manuka impregnated sterile wound covers. We had been living in France for many years, I informed my doctor (we had a home hospitalisation team of doc/nurse support) and he was surprised but agreed to what I was doing as generic honey has long been known for having healthful properties.
Within 5 days there was a huge improvement in the sores, it was incredible. And they carried on healing.
This was in the days when Manuka was little known, and though expensive a reasonable price for what it did. There is now a bandwagon of companies jumping in to make money off of its reputation; it’s on supermarket shelves, easy to buy…. however the price has jumped 5/6 fold even for the lesser qualities . But to be medically effective it must be of a certain standard and % of anti bacterial effectiveness. So if you want to use it, be careful of what you buy.
I concur with what others are saying about lack of appetite being normal , and for your mum, when that’s added to her loss of autonomy and sense of self its even harder to deal with. I wonder if smells are at all tempting to her… the scent of bread in the toaster, melted chocolate, anything that might awaken her memory of what she once liked? Whether scents could stimulate her appetite if done (somehow subtly :thinking:) , repeatedly over a few days to remind the brain of pleasures eating gave her in the past ?
I have had no follow up help and have found my local gp here uninterested in convalescence, so I understand your frustration with that. Being a carer has its challenges. You’re doing all you can do to help, so don’t beat yourself up if you can’t find solutions. You’re trying!
I am happy to give more info on Manuka if you want to private message me.
All the best, Virginia

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Apologies as I just replied to your original post having missed the more recent one with the sad news of your mum passing away. I’m so sorry. My condolences to you and the family. In time the good memories will outweigh those of this difficult year of the stroke. My very best wishes and thoughts are with you. Virginia

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@JJ11 how are you doing? Hope things are coming along OK for you & the family. Just wanted to check in & send you my best wishes. Take care xxx