Mental health and relationships

Morning , my names Sophie and my husband aged 50 suffered a stroke on Xmas day . He has made an amazing physical recovery but I have concerns over his mental health and how he speaks to me sometimes. I have suggested that he gets some help but he doesn’t see the issue ( ex RAF so very proud ) . When he is having a bad day , he is really quite horrible to me and doesn’t see that I am hurting . Any suggestions appreciated on how I can persuade him to talk to someone - thank you

@Sophieb hi welcome to our forum sorry your husband had a stroke but great for his physical improvements.

It’s a difficult one x military my husband is the same very proud for help in any way. It’s me that had the stroke so we are reverse of you two.

Maybe his stroke team should refer him for CBT it really helped me. It can be done on the telephone and it’s great once you get started it all comes out! They give you coping strategies and how to spot triggers. Your GP can help too.

Hope someone on here can help better than me I’m just talking from my experience.

Best of luck for you both. Loraine

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Shwmae @Sophieb, I am sorry you are experiencing the ripple emotional effect of stroke as a carer, as it really can be a shock all round. From my personal experience, their were two sides to the emotional result of having had a stroke. The first was, suddenly, becoming disabled and not being able to function as I usually would. As @Loshy says, CBT and Mindfulness can assist in ironing out some of the creases caused by the shock and emotional confusion as a result of stroke. The second, for me, was the actual brain damage. I lost my ability to filter and have disinhibition with my feelings and thoughts. This is something I have only been able to manage by being absolutely open about it to others and having others recognise it’s part of my injury, so we are sort of on the same page. Meeting up with other stroke survivors helps as well, it’s peer support and it can help. There may be groups your husband can join. The stroke association website has a page of groups but there are others.

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@Sophieb welcome to the forum. Sorry your husband has had a stroke & sad to hear that things are so difficult for you too. It’s really hard when someone can’t see how they’re affecting you. I echo what @Loshy & @Rups have said. But also, maybe you can give the stroke association helpline a call. They will be able to give you some advice on how to handle these situations. They also have publications on all different aspects of a stroke so perhaps have a look.at those too.

Please reach out on this forum as there is always someone who can offer some advice. Above all look after your own wellbeing too. It’s very important.

Best wishes

Ann xxx

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Welcome Sophie, so sorry to hear your hubby’s had a stroke and is being insensitive towards you on occasions.

You should definitely speak to someone at the Stroke Association to see if they have any ideas on how to get your husband some help, sadly he may not realise he is acting this way as his brain has been damaged, but that’s not to say you should accept him speaking to you this way.

Try reading this article Here and ask your husband to read it too as it will hopefully make him realise there can be changes to behaviour following a stroke and it’s happened to him.

Wishing you all the very best

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Hi, so sorry to hear that your husband has had a stroke and the difficulties you are experiencing. I’m 5 years post stroke and I would highly recommend attending a Stroke Survivors support group. We attend a group local to us through Differentstrokes.co.uk. We have both found this to be very helpful and informative.

Regards Sue

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Welcome to the group it’s hard when it’s mental health and some men find it hard to ask for help. There arebook on self insight ifboth of you could read some that help also talk to your GP and other mental health support groups with kind regards des

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Thank you for all of your suggestions and support - we have a Dr’s appointment in a week so I will try to broach the subject again then