good day all, since my birthday in beginning of June my mood has been extremely low. I cannot motivate myself and feel useless. My family never sent me any birthday wishes, but I’m expected to message them, my husband whose an absolute star, tried to lift my spirits to no avail. on his birthday 2 weeks after mine he got messages from my family. I mentioned this to my mum who brushed it off. Since then I wake up thinking I don’t want to be here dramatic I know but cannot stop crying and feeling like this, feel like know one ever listens to me and have that dread that of out of sight out of mind. not sure what to do. I’ve had enough now I am not going to end my life. just feel awfully low
@chris67 so sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. Families can be funny things can’t they.
Could your hubby mention to them how you felt about the birthday messages?
I agree with @Loshy Loraine re trying to do something nice.
Have you ever used the Stroke Association here for you service? It might not be for you but chatting to someone completely independent but who has an understanding of what you’re going through may help a little.
I would also suggest seeing your GP. They can offer advice & support too.
We’re all here for you too. Please reach out as often as you need / want to.
Sending you a big hug
Chris67 , been there in early days self pity and lack of motivation does drag you down. Contacted Stroke Association helpline, Friendly voice told me it was a frustrating part of stroke. It does get better with time, coming up three years now in much better place but still bugs me some days. Have you used the association ‘Heres for you helpline’ ? A once a week phone call from person who’s been through what you’re experiencing or a carer who has experienced Looking after someone who has suffered Those calls for a few weeks put me back on track. Keep posting here your among friends who care, your not alone Paul
Hi Martin here and just want you to know were all here to support you and help you in anyway , i struggle with my mental health and find going out in nature helps and also ive just started meditation each day , try and find something that lifts you up a bit and keep doing it !!! i am also on meds from my Doc to help with my depression and again its reaching out and asking for help , your not alone .
Hi Chris-- No matter how much you love someone, you can still forget their birthday. We forgot out grandson one year. We felt terrible about it, but made sure to remember the next one! During stroke recovery our emotions get really “out of whack” . You’re being normal. I’m sorry you feel so bad, but moods do pass. Try to focus on doing something happy and all your blessings. I know it won’t mean much from me and is so late, but here’s a “Happy Birthday to You”! from me
@axnr911 that cat picture made me smile xx
life is tricky, tricky
your family has not got a clue about what has happened to you.
it’s not entirely obvious what goes on behind the scenes of a stroke
they just don’t know. Your husband will have to fill them in.
I don’t know anyone who has gone though what I have…
(unless they are also a stroke survivor)…
then I know what they’ve gone through
(and they know what I have gone through)
Good luck, and lean on the group, ciao, Roland
thank you for all your kind words. this morning i gave myself a stern talking to, i told myself to buck up, shut up and get up and get on with your recovery and life in general. my husband thought i was mad telling myself off. i also spoke with my fantastic gp yesterday, who chatted for an hour or so, made me feel better and gave me some ways of dealing with my mood without meds. feeling more positive now.
@chris67 good to hear you’re feeling more positive today. I often give myself a stern talking too
It’s great that your GP spent so long chatting to you & they’ve given you some coping strategies. They sound great.
Chances are she was probably a tad embarrassed as it was too late to rectify…maybe that’s more the reason why your husband got messages instead.
Mums can always be forgiven for forgetting the occasional birthday when you’re a fully grown adult. She’s getting old and memory isn’t what it used to be and we can all empathise with that
But it’s good that your gp talked and for so long, glad to here you got something positive out it.
I forgot our wedding anniversary the other day and I didn’t even twig when my hubby bought me flower the day before while we were out shopping…I didn’t even get him a card But I don’t normally forget, it’s just we’ve both been busy caring for his mum recovering lung cancer op. All my hubby did was laugh and said I thought you might, it’s as well one of us remembered
@Mrs5K thank you for the kind words
@chris67 I’m so glad you are feeling better… and that you have a good, sympathetic and helpful GP. And you have @Mrs5K on your side. If you have @Mrs5K, you are saved I have had really bad moments. My family have been irritated, upset and really down about my moods. But I have tried, and so have they. Antidepressants can help, but I - despite living in a lovely flat in a lovely area of London - remain a Northerner at heart. I find it hard to accept antidepressants. But don’t listen to me, listen to your GP and your family. There is an interesting large scale piece of research being done at UCLH comparing antidepressants post stroke and exercise and physical remedies - yoga, tai chi, meditation. There is no doubt these help. (Personally, I recommend open water swimming - the colder the better. Last December it got below 1 degree C! Bliss!). So exercise, meditation, yoga all help. Friends and family - which you have - are also critical. But try other things too, both for yourself and to ease the burden on your family. I’m glad it’s improving. Keep going. But don’t be hard on yourself. Giving yourself a stiff talking to is fine. But realise that you are already wonderful and brave as a survivor. That you have earned the love of your family. That you have achieved an amazing thing by surviving. That every day will not be perfect. None of us get it right all the time, But hey, even before you had a stroke I bet you didn’t get everything right. So enjoy life. I have found that I have changed, in many ways for the good. And I am learning to celebrate that. You deserve to celebrate yourself too. Sending you all my thoughts and good wishes…
@Manxman brrrrrr that sounds cold good on you though. I’ll cheer from the sidelines. I’m not much of a swimmer. I might stick to slightly warmer hobbies but agree that they are good things for our health & wellbeing.
Enjoy your swimming
That’s an uplifting post
That is all so sad, yes all the same for me.
However you’re the bigger and better person.
You’re amazing, and just get stronger you can do it.
Lots of love
Hi @chris67 , I’m so pleased you have an understanding GP as they are such a help. I’m quite upset as mine has recently moved to a different area.
Having read a bit further down these posts I see you are in a better place now which is great. As @pando said no-one that hasn’t had a stroke (or other brain injury) can have a clue what it is like for us. This unfortunately can make others seem very insensitive but I don’t think that is always their intention. However, completely ignoring your birthday and then 2 weeks later remembering your husband’s does seem particularly nasty.
Anyway, we are always here to deal with any mood Strokees are in. We all have a good understanding of what you’re going through.
Sending positive vibes.