Does anyone feel like they have lost enjoyment talking to others and feel worried that they might be judging you for not talking the correct way?
Hi @Kat.m. Yes every day!!
I am 7 months post stroke and I think it’s fair to say I avoid meeting people because of what they may think or what I may say wrong.
Ultimately I guess I avoid going out.
Being aware of it make me force myself into situations sometimes
This is me (from tactustherapy):
“Mild aphasia simply means that the listener is impacted mildly by the problems the person with aphasia is having. For the person with mild aphasia, it can feel really severe. Imagine feeling like the word you want is on the tip of your tongue – all the time. It’s not hard to see why someone who has made a fantastic recovery in their language skills after a stroke or brain injury may still suffer a huge blow to their confidence when every conversation is a gamble as to whether it will go smoothly or not.”
I avoid socialising, but when I have do my language skills are always at the forefront of my mind. Just mine, no one elses. This makes me anxious, and I find that it’s the anxiety that makes my language skills struggle more than they should.
People are less judgmental than we perceive them to be.
And those who are judgemental are more self conscious than you are, so they will only judge you in order the feel better about themselves…because they are very self aware.
When the need arises I will “apologies” for my aphasia as this seems to of some comfort to those I’m talking to. It’s fascinating to watch them visibly relax and even bend over backwards to help you out then, bless them. So no, I have absolutely no worries on that score, I’ll talk to anyone.
In the early days post stroke I was quiet as a little self conscious of my speech, but I was that way all my life so what’s new. 2½yrs on I use it to my advantage now, we have to, and it can be quite entertaining at times too.
You have to own it, wear it like your own skin, use it, because it is part of you now. You need to use the people you converse with now as the tools of your therapy, your speech won’t improve if you are too self conscious to speak to anyone. So make them aware of your condition when needed so they can give you time to speak. My eldest sister can talk a mile a minute so it’s actually quite entertaining just watching her wait for me to speak I come from a large Irish family who all talk over one another when we get together, and the volume can get quite loud in doing so…I was always the quiet one. The way I see it know, I’m teaching them the art of etiquette by having to wait for me to finish speaking before they speak
And yes, it can be frustrating too, but even that can wear off over time. I just don’t care anymore, it is what it is so I just get on with it, it’s a scar like all the other scars on my body that I’ve gained over the years.
I think people will be non-judgemental, understanding even, but I do realise how it must impact on your confidence.
I hope you don’t think I’m interfering when I suggest a few Zoom calls, where you can meet up with others in a non challenging situation, might be a help giving you the opportunity to hold your own in conversation and build up your self image.
You can do much more than you give yourself credit for, honest.
I can easily and quickly set up a meeting, if that would be useful. Just let me know what you think.
I had a Stroke that took away the use of my right side. I’m house bound but have made improvements since leaving hospital.
Keep on keepin’ on.
One of these days Bobbi I’ll do it . . . one of these days . . . maybe . . . just not today
Every time I see this video I think “that’s me!”
Aww that poor parrot, I feel sorry for her feathers and her bare bum. I reckon she pretty much has it all under control, though. I hope she got the two bags of seeds she was promised.
Not to worry, I’d feel awful if I hadn’t offered .
I’m very sorry if I scared you off.
Sorry to say but I am fed up with apologising or people telling me ‘I don’t look partially sighted or disabled’ I agree fully with EE that there are various levels and ways to deal with them.
But I have to say I often just go to the ‘F You’ response if people push me - mostly friends of friends or other random people and people do and don’t understand.
I am helped by 6’2" and a 145cm guide cane and RNIB overshields and my slow moving general self so it doesn;t hapen to me that much thankfully.
But I HATE it when it does happen and I sometimes lose my ****.
Trying to be calmer but there is sometimes too much.
My advice is be who you are and if people don’t like it or refuse to try and understand then fook them. Don’t worry about others. You are more important Kat.
I also find sunflower badges very useful. Actually that is my top tip of the night - still up post paramedics and I didn’t feel like coping with a&e at this time but hey ho. I’ll try GP tomo.
Good luck and please you are what you are and that’s exactly who you should be - f*** the haters.
Her name if Fefe and was actually a rescue bird, she’d fully plucked herself due to anxiety at the time. Here’s the true video of her.
I fully understand how you feel because i feel the same. I feel lonely no one talks, comes to see me i feel alone.
Hi @Francine-13 welcome to the forum, we have plenty of company here whenever you want to just talk or need advice.
There’s no need to feel so lonely when we’ve got all sorts ways to break out of that…there is Weekly volunteer calls - Here For You | Stroke Association which you contact. If you or someone you know has had a stroke, a weekly phone conversation with one of our trained volunteers can help you to rebuild your life after stroke. Many folk on here have benefited from those weekly calls
You may also find support and companionship in your area from here Support in your area | Stroke Association
Fellow forum members have also put together this welcome post Welcome - what we wish we'd heard at the start. In there, you’ll find some useful links to face to face support groups and to a weekly support meetup online Cafe via Zoom.
Keep talking on here too, we are all here to help and lift each other up when we are low. You’ve got friends here, we are all stroke stroke warriors and carers so who better to know what we are all going through.