Late starters - the tortoise and the hare

[Bobbi]

As a kid I was a great lover of stories and would vaccuum up huge swaths of extremely varied reading material from equally various and variable sources.
One such is the tale of the tortoise and the hare, by Aesop, if I remember correctly.

Unbeknownst to me or those around, as a child I was extremely short sighted, this was probably why I spent so much time lost in the pages of a book and falling out of trees and off the back of me dads motorbike. I did know there was ‘something’ but was not aware of what exactly it was. My headmistress and parents gave me a lot of stick for not trying hard enough in class.

I was ten years old before a sight test given to everyone in the school immediately showed that I was unable to distinguish and identify even the largest letter on the test card. From then on I wore those thick glass spectacles that made me stand out in a different sort of way. Never really thought of myself as disabled though. I am sure this or other ‘conditions’ definitely shape the way our lives turn out.

Which brings me to the matter of the experience of stroke.

Generally we want the matter resolving immediately, if not sooner.
Unhappily the quick resolution usually means death on the spot, which is not usually seen as the best answer either by ourselves or by others caught up in our drama.
This means everyone needs to calm down a bit and to cool off with the dramatic.

Let’s get back into the real world.
Looked at coolly the whole thing is a mixture of horror, trauma and loss.
We need to deal with stuff.
Probably best to pack away all the worry and fear for now.
It isn’t going to help when sorting through what is left.

Trying to spark up a little optimism could well provide a little energy needed to begin to cope.
You gotta realise doing nothing isn’t being lazy, it is an important part of recovery.
You need a lot of time to pick up the pieces, which is what is happening in your ‘lazy’ moments.
It is a matter of balance, rest means repair, activity raises the spirits giving a sense of direction.

There is so much more to say.
Perhaps you can pick it up from here and run with it.
I will probably try and return, later, to move things along a little further.

None of us stands alone. We can lean on one another when there is a need.
We can help one another find a way forward.

Keep on keepin’ on

[Ingo66]

Well said Mr Magoo! What happened to the specs, I’ve not seen you wearing them?

[pando]

Good post, Bobbi

I am guilty of running around in frustration trying to solve my 7-month post-stroke problems… and, unsurprisingly, failing, according to my own standards. I just feel I am missing out on so much.

Take care, Roland

[Rups]

Gosh @Bobbi, bore da, I have just woken up, I am three sips into my coffee, I will return to this screed later

[Bobbi]

@Rups
I used to get nos da and a peck from my nain before being put to bed, 70 years or so ago. I was her cariad bach but never learned to speak her and my mother’s native tongue. I’m secretly only half English, even so, I suppose.
Cymraeg am byth !!
Now don’t go thinking I’m going to understand what you are rattling on about.

@pando
We all have something to offer. We have value. Your comment encourages me to continue. Thank you.

@Ingo66
I get my specs out to watch television. Around the house most stuff is close enough to be pretty much in focus. The technology is much improved and thin plastic lenses are a big improvement over the milk bottle bottoms that used to be de rigueur.
With red hair and thick glasses I always stuck out like a sore thumb.

These days I have aged, become more muted, less in your face, heh hehe heh.

Keep on keepin’ on
you know you want to

[Pds]

Same as you in one respect Bobbi. At school reports were he seems to be bright but should try harder. The Blackboard was a blur. Then eye test and surprise surprise, glasses. Good old NHS ones that I seemed to break every other week. Always read without them even now. Working outdoors all my life it was a bind some times. Then stroke comes along and complicates things with bit of vision loss but enough to get by providing I’m sensible (trouble is I’ve never been that). But Hey Ho worse things happen at sea and you can’t walk back.
Stay positive and keep on keeping on.

[Mrs5K]

@Bobbi i often compare myself to the hare & tortoise story. I’m definitely the tortoise…but as the tortoise won i’ll take that

I’m much better at resting now. Should still rest more though but difficult when things have to be done. Not sure work woukd pay me to rest too much

It was my sister who had the "trendy’ NHS glasses growing up. I didn’t get my glasses until i was 16 & was lucky enough to get non NHS ones. I was the one falling out of trees.

[EmeraldEyes]

So from day two onwards I’ve always known my brain was going to would repair itself in it’s own good time and I was going to live!

Once I got over the shock, horror and had I damn good cry about it that first night in my hospital bed.

The following morning I discovered two things, the woman in the bed opposite me had died in the night and the woman four beds down from me only had a month to live…not that you would know it to listen to her.

Lady Jane she was nicknamed because she was petite, pretty, lively and paralysed from the waist down and very regal looking. She was 82 but didn’t look a day over 55. I couldn’t talk to her because I had no speech, couldn’t manage any form of communication, I was the silent patient. But she could talk, and boy could she talk bless her, a very happy and cheerful woman, all things considered. And encourage, she new just how to encourage and cajole me to keep going, to keep on trying. I only had to attempt pick up and drop a water cup to have her cheer me for being able to do that much

The first time I walked was with a nurse on either side of me to hold me up, and she was egging me on constantly. I think her voice made up for my silence. I remember wondering why they never gave me a walker like when I had my hip replaced. It never even occurred to me 'til much later, well of course they wouldn’t because my arm useless

I’m quite happy and content to be the tortoise but I was in a hurry to get home to my family so could get started on my rebuild. Never seen my eldest sister so impatient and frustrated at the time though

We were in lock down, it’s just that I was in a double lockdown, and my sister was wanting me fixed instantly when there was not much help to be had at that time. She was wanting to be here for me, doing therapy, to take me to places and people she thought could speed it up. She was afraid the longer it dragged out the less likely I would get things like speech back to normal.

And here was I quite content being trapped inside myself where my brain quietly knitted away diligently to put me back together. We did everything that was required of each other, my brain and I, it was a two woman team and, in my view, we won the battle…just not as quickly as my sister would have liked…but best things in life simply can’t be rushed…quality over quantity

My brain still has a few minor kinks to iron out but nothing I can’t live with. But now moving forward in life, it’s down to me to strive to maintain all the good work that those doctors, nurses, therapist and my brain have done to make me whole again. And still, my greatest inspiration goes to Lady Jane and I only knew her for 5 days. Now I’m going shut up because I’m filling up here.

[Rups]

In my limited view, I think, non-stroked, we either tend to rely on the counsel of others or struggle to maintain individual autonomy. Stroke throws a rusty spanner into the works. We can no longer rely on the counsel of others, explicitly, as our interpretation can get lost in translation and our autonomous self, central to our implicit understanding of who we are, is equally as confused by the same set state of injury. No quick fix is apparent but, in hindsight, I have learnt that having a brain injury ensures one knows one is born. The brain startles and says to itself, “Hey-ho, what the devil!”. I am a thing, I am here, and I have been struck.

[Rups]

My frustration lies with daily plans. I know something is possible but whether or not I can achieve it that day is subject to my symptoms.

[DeAnn]

Wow! That is the truth! I wish I could have said that in the way you did!

[Rups]

You do @DeAnn, but with your own voice

[Bobbi]

I am proud.
I earned a ‘Nice Topic’ badge for this thread - it got 10 Likes.
Thanks for your support, your input too.

I believe that saying what you think can be useful to others, but acts as self-help as well.

Of course there are also times when a buttoned lip is called for and we hope we spot those times before something is said that cannot be un-said.

All I can add is that I feel lucky and priviledged to have access to this forum and its members, yes, you.

Keep on keepin’ on

[pando]

Good job, Bobbi, keep up the good work

[pando]

Good thinking, Rups…in addition,

I struggle to break free of the limitations imposed upon me by my stroke.
In my dreams I move about freely; I have no idea whether I will, one day
… but I strive on and act so. It’s only temporary, says my wife.

Good luck, Roland

[pando]

@EmeraldEyes that’s quite a story. In my ward the two people in front of me died, one after the other. Then a young chap moved in, but only for a couple of days, before he was sent home. At least he was somebody I could talk to. Anyway, we agreed that the first one to get out would come back for the other. When he left, he reminded me, and promised to come and get me. I told him not to bother, since half my body was paralysed. Interestingly enough, he hadn’t noticed, and was quite surprised.

[Songbird1]

Bobby, if you’re not a writer by profession, I reckon you should be. I thoroughly enjoyed your writing and indeed the excellent encouraging points you made. Thank you!

[Bobbi]

@Songbird1
Welcome to the forum and thank you for that lovely comment.
I am not a professional and I have achieved my aim if you enjoy my offerings or find them useful.

[msporshakimberly]

I used watch toads bugs bunny

[Suzywong]

Thanks so much for your words of wisdom Bobbi. It is very much like the hare and tortoise fable! I was so impatient to be “better” at first but talking to others who have been there on this forum have made me understand that there are no quick fixes and we have to accept that whilst getting on wx things. Life is still sweet and my granddaughters make me want to fight every day. Please keep sharing , love suzywong