Independence

My deepest regret is the high dependency I have on others when as a not disabled man I was very capable.i am assuming it will come back impart as my never ending recovery continues, as of today feeling very inadequate and vulnerable, wish I could be more positive today but it has struck me I have years to wait till a better man emerges

1 Like

@mrfrederickson it’s tough and it’s ok to feel the way you do, remember however, you are strong and resilient, every day progress can be made, stay positive.

Best wishes

Most of us know how you feel, but I’m happy to be still around as I feel I still enjoy life. Yes it is frustrating as hell needing help from others but they would rather be helping you than not have you around.
We all have low spells but you will bonce back and appreciate you got the chance to keep going.
Have a chill day and try to think about the nice things you can still do, see, taste and experience.
It’s okay to get fed up occasionally but remember we are all here for you.
Mark.

1 Like

Thanks I suppose I am looking for a decent step improvement like walking properly or arm function but guess I am going to have to sit here watching Paint dry and hope.o know everyone has their own journey and reading the posted update s on others improvement I have got a few years to go before even the smallest improvement is recognised. As my wife reminds me the early days saw the most because I was so bad once you are up and using a stick the progress drops off markedly sadly as does the NHS interest, hired my own physio as the NHS discharged me as they have other more needy cases even the consultant has washed his hands of me

Thanks I am glad to have survived I think, some days I challenge that thinking, but the sun is shining Wimbledon’s on and lunch is approaching, doesn’t get much better.:muscle::grinning:

1 Like

Thanks, I find the length of time which could be long from now till I am at a satisfactory state hard to comprehend, trying to make the most of it but so much is dead time and offers small progress and leaves frustattiontop of the list as time goes by

Hi I completely get how you are feeling. I was a very independent lady before this nightmare began in Feb 2017 and it’s so hard to sit back and watch everyone rushing about and being unable to help. My family are amazing and do all they can to make sure I’m involved in everything but at times I feel like an outsider looking in. So many people say “you are lucky you survived” but honestly there are times when I wish I hadn’t but only someone in my situation can truly understand that.

Stay positive and carry on

Regards Sue

2 Likes

Thanks for the understanding Sue, only a stroke survivor can appreciate our position the world of the able bodied take so much for granted, something I no longer do but moving to a more satisfactory state is the best present I could ever have,promised myself a big party after that day arrives an all my people are invited to celebrate my return to the human race.
Regards Mark

1 Like

Mrfrederickson. I think I have said this before, but we all have good and bad days. When I came home six years ago, I was helpless and totally reliant on my partner. Bit by bit, I learnt to do things again, despite the effort and feeling of inadequacy. I am now ‘reasonable’ but will never be the old me who enjoyed six mile walks and total independence. On a good day my mood is high, my walking reasonable and I have a sense of worth. On a bad day, I am brooding, melancholic and doddery. I just keep hoping to regain a bit more of old me whilst, realistically, accepting he might never return

1 Like

I truly hope you get there.my aim is similar,the old me is still in there, just waiting repairs and reactivation

1 Like

@mrfrederickson as others have said its OK to feel like that sometimes. It’s hard to accept that we might never be the same again. I try to find the positives in what I have / can do now & some things are better than prestroke. I like being able to sit & do nothing sometimes…that would never have happened before. Keep on going you’ll make small improvements & then one day you’ll realise those small improvements have become a bigger improvement.
Best wishes

1 Like

Exposing your vulnerability (and enduring a stroke definitely leaves you vulnerable) lets you see properly where you are and how you need to deal with stuff.
We are lucky to have this place, this Forum, where there is sympathy, support and understanding.
You can use this time to decide what will help your progress now and which things need to go on the back burner for more attention later. There is so much that could be attended to, but only so much you have the time and energy to tackle. So a good look around to weigh up the situation is always a good strategy.
As ever, be kind to yourself, get some easy results first and reward yourself lavishly for any success. The harder tasks can come later when you have developed the strength to take them on.
In the meantime remember, rest is not a sin.

1 Like

Hi mrfrederickson-- One way to feel less bad is just what you’re doing, taking your physical therapy into your own hands.(You hired your own physio.) I was in the same boat. After a certain period of time, you’re on your own. So, I decided not to let it stop there. I did regular therapies myself on my own and with my husband. And, though it’s not as noticeable after several months or years, if you keep at it, there usually is some improvement. Don’t sit and watch “paint dry”, paint something.( I mean literally. Do things outside the box, things you maybe haven’t tried before, something new. Doesn’t matter how it turns out. The point is to keep on learning and doing and trying as best you can, and things will change. You know what they say: “Where there’s life, there’s hope.” :slightly_smiling_face: :heart: image

2 Likes

Thanks for the pep talk and encouragement, I will be very different when the recovery takes the next step.

1 Like

Sue, I sincerely get your comment about wishing you hadnt survived. Its feels like accepting failure and people dont really understand how hard it is to hear the “you are lucky you survived”.
And its harder from another ‘stroke survivor’ as it makes you think why am I not that positive about the new me.
But no blame on anyone, its just the different perspectives of different people.
Just wanted to say, its not a weakness, its a strength to actually say what you are thinking.
:slightly_smiling_face:

2 Likes

The aim of all of us is to re-establish an independent life in some way or other.
The ask is what time span do most say I am independent and still adjusting.i realise that i not I am fully recovered but have teaced the happy plateau place