I have posted on here previously but thought I would post again.
I thought I would post something rather than just read others. Firstly I am not wallowing in self pity or looking for sympathy
I am Just Fed Up.
Background is had a stroke in Feb 21 and recovered physically well. Mentally not so much but this ’ rewiring of the brain’ that gets talked about turned me 180 degrees. Pre Stroke in the Fight or Flight scenarios I would primarily choose fight. Post stroke Flight.
COVID hadn’t helped. I mask, I distance, I isolate to some extent to avoid catching. I can make the mental link of COVID increases the risk of clots , clots increase risk of stroke. Even though on meds for clotting, BP, cholesterol etc the ease to which I can become anxious or stressed is amazing.
My family are fed up of me, my friends are fed up of me (as I said I am Fed up).
I constantly have headaches, limb aches and chest aches. Found out Oct 22 I have Arythmia and permanent AFib.
GPs put it down to stress and anxiety and after a few consultations are recommending anti depressants.
Don’t really want them so tried Kinsiology, Seeing a counselor and now trying hypnotherapy. It all costs but Hey ho. Oh should add that the anxiety and stress caused me to belch continually. We have done camera down throat, barium swallow - medically/physically fine. So we are back to anxiety and stress.
People say be positive but it’s like being in a pitch black room, no matter how you try it remains black room meanwhile GPs family and friends say keep trying (as they are in the room opposite with wall to wall windows and light.
So all this is just a rant really.
I am just fed up with it it’s like treading water. If this is it they can shove it. I have accepted I annoy most people ( most probably annoyed a lot on here by this long post) but I cannot be bothered to
Grow a pair
All the other war cries.
This is me. This is Alan, I am just Fed up.
Thank you for reading