How to help my husband's mood

Hi. I am very new to this. My husband had a stroke a week and a half ago. Physically he is fine - (aside from getting very tired more easily) but where we are struggling is with the aphasia. The main issue is that my husband is an absolute workaholic and has an absolute passion for research and writing and as he’s struggling with typing and finding the words, he’s understandably frustrated and seems to be hitting a low patch. He is not the most patient of people so the fact he is not immediately bouncing back is even more frustrating.
I’m trying to communicate with him and practice writing and cognition exercises (as well as trying to persuade him to rest and give himself time), but he just seems to be shutting down and isn’t talking to me or engaging with our kids (3 and 8). He doesn’t have much self awareness at the minute or empathy which has been a behavioural shift I realise it’s early days and he’s doing so well but if his mood continues, we will struggle as a family. I just wondered if anyone had any advice for keeping spirits up and keeping him engaged with the kids?

@AJB Welcome to the forum although sorry to hear of your husbands stroke. It must be very frustrating for him to not be able to do the thing he loves. I know it’s easy for me to say but he needs to take it steady & not put too many expectations on himself at this early stage. I had difficulties reading & taking things in after my stroke & it has been a case of building that back up a little bit at a time. I used to read regularly (loved it) but 5 months on can only read a page or 2 at a time. I started by reading very short articles (couple of lines). It sounds like you’re doing the right things & I would suggest persevering. The lack.of self awareness & empathy are highly likely to be as a result of the stroke.
One thing that everyone needs is patience & a realisation that improvement isn’t going to be instant. Have you got an OT involved? If not I’d suggest getting a referral. The Stroke Association also have loads of publications that it would be useful to read (if you haven’t already done so). Give the Stroke Assocuation helpline a call too. They will have ideas to help improve sure.
Don’t forget to be kind to yourself too. This is life changing for you as well as your husband.
Don’t know if I have been much help but wish you lots of luck & hope things settle soon for you.

Ann x

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@AJB @Mrs5K hi welcome to our forum and sorry to read about your husbands stroke. Everything Ann said I mirror. It’s early days and you’ve all had a shock particularly your husband. I think we go through a denial stage at the beginning then learn to accept. Your husbands emotions will be all over the place. Really no this website someone will try to help you through these awful weeks. I got help from here and I cannot recommend them enough. Be patient and make sure you take care of you too. Sending my best wishes Loraine :hugs:

Hi @AJB welcome, though sorry to hear about your husband’s stroke

As Ann and Lorraine have said, it’s very early days, plenty of time for improvements to be made. Hopefully you have a referral to a SALT who will be able to help your husband with the aphasia. Speak to the Stroke Association, read their articles.

Having a stroke is very frightening and frustrating, some make improvements immediately and for others it takes longer, weeks, months or in some cases years, there is no ‘one size fits all’ recovery with a stroke.

Whilst the person who has the stroke will have the physical or cognitive issues, stroke effects the whole family with the aftermath.

Your husband still needs time to process and come to terms with what happened, his brain needs time to rewire around the damaged area.

Everyone will need a little patience, keep persevering with trying to engage him, try to stay positive.

Wishing you all the very best, take care, we’re here to offer support wherever we can.


Welcome and very well described I started with attention and focus issues whic 15 months down the line are behind me managed to get up to 30 hours a week in a demanding Jo as a data protection Officer after 7 months from the stroke so don’t underestimate his determination the key to recovery but slowly and sure ly. He will chee up as I did when he feels more himself

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